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Very intense client crossing some boundaries and making me really uncomfortable.


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So, this guy has commissioned a few paintings from me over the last year.  The last one I finished was a few months ago and I am currently working on his next commission.  When he picked up the last one he offered to take me out for a drink, which I agreed to as long as it was clear this was just platonic.  Clients taking me out is not unheard of.  It's happened before.  I am, saying this because I don't want to hear in the comments how stupid I was for agreeing to go out with him and how that's unprofessional, etc.  In my opinion an artist having a drink with a client isn't crossing any lines.  Clients have taken me out to dinner before, etc.  In the art world I think that's pretty common. 

Well, a few weeks after that he messaged me to tell me he was voluntarily commuting himself into a psych hospital.  I thought it was a little weird that he would contact me to tell me this.  But it didn't hurt anything.  I told him I hope all goes well and that he feels better soon. 

Over the past few months we have talked a lot on messenger and stuff while I'm at work.  I work the graveyard shift, so does he.  For a while it wasn't a problem. 

One night he messaged me and said, "So did you hear about that guy who beat up that girl in *city an hour away.*  I told him no.  Then he proceeds to tell me he found out the guy's full name and did some googling to find his number and called him.  He said it took 45 minutes for this guy he called to convince him he had the wrong guy and that he wasn't the one who beat a girl up.  I remember thinking how weird this whole story was.  Like ok... you heard some guy beat a girl up.  You found out the guy's name.  You called some guy with that name and started going off on him.  The two of you spend 45 minutes on the phone and he convinces you you called the wrong guy...?  Why didn't he just hang up?  I asked him if he knew the girl that was beat up and he said no.  He just has no tolerance for guys who beat women.  Ok... but why involve yourself in it?   Most likely the cops already got the guy. 

Next time we talked he tells me about how his ex is still in love with him and last night he took her out to dinner and had sex with her and now she is all sad that they aren't getting back together.  Well really?  Jeez I wonder why...?

Another night he told me this Arabic word that means friend, but he went into this really long explanation for what it means.  I don't remember exactly how it was worded but it was something like, "Special friend who I trust more than all my other friends, etc." And he asked me if he could call me that word. 

He decided I need to get laid, he sent my info to two women he met on grinder to try to hook me up.  He has also offered to take me to a "sex club" on more than one occasion.  

I mentioned to him at one point that I want to start going to Al Anon meetings and he seemed really insistent about going with me to them.  Ok, that is really something I would rather do alone.  It would be hard for me to open up at a meeting like that with a client sitting next to me.  And, he's an alcoholic.  He admits that he is and he is not in any kind of recovery or anything.  So it would be pretty inappropriate for me to bring an alcoholic to an Al Anon meeting, imo. 

Last Friday he asked me if I wanted to go get breakfast after work.  I told him no because I wasn't really feeling too well and usually after work I go straight to bed, especially on Fridays because Friday night is my night to hang out with my nephew and so I don't want to sleep too late.  He then says, "Well what if I just come and pick you up from work and bring you back to my house.  I will sleep with my clothes on.  Then when we wake up we can go get food?"

I told him no.  And he said, "Well what if I pick you up at your house later on?"

I told him I'm not feeling very social and that I kinda feel put on the spot here. 

My female co worker was even like, "What the hell is his problem?  You already told him no." 

I haven't answered him since then.  But as the night went on he kept messaging me asking why I like him. 

Tonight he messaged mt to tell me he is down a friend because he asked her to watch his cat since he is probably going to be involuntarily committed after his next therapy appointment and she told him no. 

Ok... he is actually starting to make me really uncomfortable.  This isn't the first time he has messaged me to complain about some friend who distanced themself from him.  He just seems really intense and creepy.  I actually talked to my therapist about him at my last appt.  But she didn't really tell me what to do as far as how to handle him.  I also was just venting to her. 

I know it's my fault too because obviously something about me attracts these kinds of people.  And since my ex and I split and I lost a lot of friends I am trying to make more.  But it seems like these are the people who want to be friends with me.  I know there is no one here who knows me in real life and can suggest what it is about me that attracts people like him.  But any thoughts are welcome.  I mean, clearly there is something about me.

But an easier question... how do I handle this situation.  I am still working on a painting for him that he already put a deposit down on.  And he also seems like the kind of person that would get angry and even violent if I just told him hey you need to back off you're scaring me a little. 

Thanks in advance...

Edited by Cynder
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What’s the frequency in texts or calls? Is it say once a day or once every few days? Try answering during daytime/business hours only and don’t respond after hours. You as well as your clients need to know when you’re not always available.

Separate your work and your personal life a bit more. Keep declining and spacing out the responses and keep things work-related only in terms of what you’re commissioned to do.

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This man seems very unstable. 

I will echo Rose's advice above. Don't take calls from him outside "business" hours, and don't engage in conversations that are unrelated to the work you are doing for him. 

When you are finished that work, cut contact with him. He is not someone you need in your life. 

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26 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

What’s the frequency in texts or calls? Is it say once a day or once every few days? Try answering during daytime/business hours only and don’t respond after hours. You as well as your clients need to know when you’re not always available.

Separate your work and your personal life a bit more. Keep declining and spacing out the responses and keep things work-related only in terms of what you’re commissioned to do.

Well because of the nature of my business there aren't any defined business hours.  I don't own a brick and mortar shop that is closed/open at a certain time.  I work at festivals and I do commissions for people who hire me.  

As for the frequency.  It's on and off.  He never calls me.  But there will be days when he texts me every day for a whole week and then I don't hear from him for a few days.  He knows I'm awake all night and sleeping during the day.  So he always texts me really late at night.  

It is way too easy for the line to get blurred when you work the festival curcuit.  A lot of vendors get really close and think of each other like family and so do some of the regulars who come to all the shows but aren't vendors.  

He started texting me tonight and I just kept my replies really short and sparse.  

 

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Even if he was just a garden variety friend you’d have every cause to give him a fast fade on the grounds of refusing to hear your no alone!

I’ve got an acquaintance who does similarly inappropriate things (finding every excuse to bring the conversation around to how much he likes sex and his wife doesn’t?! *massive side eye* Yeah, you’re a sometimes interesting to talk to person I know but I’m glad you live on the other side of the world!)

You don’t need to have business hours to keep business hours. My hours are irregular too but If I get a ‘hey’ from some guy’s boner at 1 in the morning, that message will be ignored until the morning. If my other side of the world friend sends me a particularly boring message I’ll ignore that, really, as long as a feel like. So this boundary pushing client, you don’t have to cut him off cold turkey (especially while you’re still working on his piece). But you can just let his messages sit in your inbox for a while before replying and you can get right out of the small talk by either giving single word answers and not answering questions or telling him you’re super busy at the moment and can’t chat. 
 

In your shoes I wouldn’t be up for making small talk with him at all after that display of immense pushiness trying to get you to come out with him. Very bad form. Just talk about the commission, nothing else to say. 

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35 minutes ago, 1a1a said:

In your shoes I wouldn’t be up for making small talk with him at all after that display of immense pushiness trying to get you to come out with him. Very bad form. Just talk about the commission, nothing else to say

Same. He sounds like a creep. Avoid being alone with him, and limit contact to talk only about the painting.

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1 hour ago, Cynder said:

I don't own a brick and mortar shop that is closed/open at a certain time.

You can stil operate under the premise that you will respond to clients from 9-5, for example. 

Not at night, and certainly not communication that has nothing to do with the work you're doing. 

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Can you stay with family for a while to break up your patterns, and possibly use car services or family to get to and from work? Maybe change up some of your workdays or hours, even if this means using some vac or sick time? Can you have other people around on Friday when you visit with nephew?

It sounds as though you may have already told this guy enough about yourself to make you vulnerable to being stalked by him.

As for your larger question, I'd start by learning how to get comfortable with the fact that you are not obligated to answer a question just because someone asks it, and you are also entitled to withhold excuses when turning down an invitation rather than give private details about your life.

In other words, "No, that's not good for me...." rinse, repeat if necessary--and for as long as necessary--rather than offer an excuse (especially one that tells where you will be at a given time.)

Your parents raised you to respond 'well' to inappropriate questioning and to bypass bizarre behaviors. So you may attract unstable people because you might respond to inappropriate conversations or behaviors in ways that normalize those. This opens your door, and by the time you recognize discomfort, you've already developed a familiarity that makes it easier for you to just overlook red flags rather than cope with the fallout of ditching such people once they've latched onto you.

I understand you want to counter the social fallout since your breakup. However, sometimes we need to embrace cycles of invisibility in order to adopt a new presence. Think of it as a metamorphosis. If we embrace it, it can evolve us into a new level of consciousness and confidence that would clearly never have engaged, much less encouraged, some of the most harmful people from our past. 

We can mature and outgrow the habits that invited past mistakes, BUT only if we can make the break away from continuing those mistakes for a time. From there we gain new perspective from the distance.

So having times where we operate solo with a cleared address book is not necessarily a 'bad' thing. It's time of growth. It can be painful and lonely (by simply deciding that it 'must' be) or it can be viewed through a lens of trust that this will be a time of new vision-building.

The new vision is how we break patterns that have become the opposite of working 'for' us.

(((HUG))),
Cat

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8 hours ago, Cynder said:

Well because of the nature of my business there aren't any defined business hours.  I don't own a brick and mortar shop that is closed/open at a certain time.  I work at festivals and I do commissions for people who hire me.  

As for the frequency.  It's on and off.  He never calls me.  But there will be days when he texts me every day for a whole week and then I don't hear from him for a few days.  He knows I'm awake all night and sleeping during the day.  So he always texts me really late at night.  

It is way too easy for the line to get blurred when you work the festival curcuit.  A lot of vendors get really close and think of each other like family and so do some of the regulars who come to all the shows but aren't vendors.  

He started texting me tonight and I just kept my replies really short and sparse.  

 

Good work. Keep them short and sparse like this. As for hours you define them then.

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Posted (edited)
18 hours ago, 1a1a said:

Even if he was just a garden variety friend you’d have every cause to give him a fast fade on the grounds of refusing to hear your no alone!

I’ve got an acquaintance who does similarly inappropriate things (finding every excuse to bring the conversation around to how much he likes sex and his wife doesn’t?! *massive side eye* Yeah, you’re a sometimes interesting to talk to person I know but I’m glad you live on the other side of the world!)

You don’t need to have business hours to keep business hours. My hours are irregular too but If I get a ‘hey’ from some guy’s boner at 1 in the morning, that message will be ignored until the morning. If my other side of the world friend sends me a particularly boring message I’ll ignore that, really, as long as a feel like. So this boundary pushing client, you don’t have to cut him off cold turkey (especially while you’re still working on his piece). But you can just let his messages sit in your inbox for a while before replying and you can get right out of the small talk by either giving single word answers and not answering questions or telling him you’re super busy at the moment and can’t chat. 
 

In your shoes I wouldn’t be up for making small talk with him at all after that display of immense pushiness trying to get you to come out with him. Very bad form. Just talk about the commission, nothing else to say. 

This guy loves talking about his sex life too, even though I've never asked about it or shown any interest.  He is Bi and he goes to gay bath houses on a regular basis.  He will tell me stuff like how he was with 5 guys in one night and how he is "The number one wh*re."  I don't care how many guys he was with in one night.   That's actually pretty gross. 

He messaged me last night at work asked how I was doing.  I just said "Fine." I didn't hear from him the rest of the night. 

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16 hours ago, catfeeder said:

Can you stay with family for a while to break up your patterns, and possibly use car services or family to get to and from work? Maybe change up some of your workdays or hours, even if this means using some vac or sick time? Can you have other people around on Friday when you visit with nephew?

It sounds as though you may have already told this guy enough about yourself to make you vulnerable to being stalked by him.

As for your larger question, I'd start by learning how to get comfortable with the fact that you are not obligated to answer a question just because someone asks it, and you are also entitled to withhold excuses when turning down an invitation rather than give private details about your life.

In other words, "No, that's not good for me...." rinse, repeat if necessary--and for as long as necessary--rather than offer an excuse (especially one that tells where you will be at a given time.)

Your parents raised you to respond 'well' to inappropriate questioning and to bypass bizarre behaviors. So you may attract unstable people because you might respond to inappropriate conversations or behaviors in ways that normalize those. This opens your door, and by the time you recognize discomfort, you've already developed a familiarity that makes it easier for you to just overlook red flags rather than cope with the fallout of ditching such people once they've latched onto you.

I understand you want to counter the social fallout since your breakup. However, sometimes we need to embrace cycles of invisibility in order to adopt a new presence. Think of it as a metamorphosis. If we embrace it, it can evolve us into a new level of consciousness and confidence that would clearly never have engaged, much less encouraged, some of the most harmful people from our past. 

We can mature and outgrow the habits that invited past mistakes, BUT only if we can make the break away from continuing those mistakes for a time. From there we gain new perspective from the distance.

So having times where we operate solo with a cleared address book is not necessarily a 'bad' thing. It's time of growth. It can be painful and lonely (by simply deciding that it 'must' be) or it can be viewed through a lens of trust that this will be a time of new vision-building.

The new vision is how we break patterns that have become the opposite of working 'for' us.

(((HUG))),
Cat

I already take a taxi back and forth to work.  I don't have vacation time or sick time at my job yet.  Haven't been there long enough.  My roommate is always there on Friday's when I'm with my nephew. 

I've wondered that too.  I've actually been stalked in the past.  And I mean actually stalked, to where the cops had to get involved, no contact orders had to be filed, etc.  A lot of people throw that word around like it's nothing.  Oh, this guy who likes me came to see me at work, he's stalking me.  Real stalking is really terrifying. 

He kept asking me the other night why I like him.  I just didn't answer.  It was hard for me not to because I felt like it was so rude not to answer.  But I figured any answer I give will just invite some other question I'm more uncomfortable with. 

Right now I'm actually finding a lot of power in being alone.  I'm using power for the lack of a better word.  It just feels really liberating knowing that I just cut off all these toxic people at once.  My roommate is even toxic and she's now such good friends with my ex apparently.  Her and I barely even speak and we live in the same house. 

It's a lot harder to make friends in adulthood.  I just hope I don't become like my Mom.  She's a really lonely person because she lost most of her friends when she quit drinking. 

Honestly though, I would rather be alone then just surrounded by miserable people who drag everyone down with them all the time. 

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1 hour ago, Cynder said:

This guy loves talking about his sex life too, even though I've never asked about it or shown any interest.  He is Bi and he goes to gay bath houses on a regular basis.  He will tell me stuff like how he was with 5 guys in one night and how he is "The number one wh*re."  I don't care how many guys he was with in one night.   That's actually pretty gross. 

He messaged me last night at work asked how I was doing.  I just said "Fine." I didn't hear from him the rest of the night. 

You are doing really well in terms of distancing yourself from him. The idea is to become boring, so boring that he moves on to other things. So "fine" and also "busy", "sorry gotta go", "work calling" - bland responses while not actually inciting him by ignoring him completely or telling him to get lost.

That said, after this  commission I suggest that you fire him as a client.

Where you are going sideways is the first paragraph. It's not so much that you are magically attracting these types of people, it's that you listening and letting them talk like that instead of immediately asserting boundaries and stepping away from them. When you listen to that kind of talk, it implies that you like it and are into that, that it's an invitation for more. It's like you are opening the door to them even though it's not the kind of company you want to keep and it leads to major problems for you.

Just because someone talks, does not mean that you need to listen to them. Learn how to interrupt and change topic, OR the olde "listen, gotta go, byyyeeee" and immediately end the conversation. Any further attempts to keep getting a reaction from you be it listening or chatting about personal things of your own - learn to rebuff and shut down quickly.

It really all comes down to learning how to assert boundaries before things get out of hand. This may also mean that you need to evaluate faster and more harshly whether a person who is trying to approach you is the type of a person you want to associate with. Again, just because someone wants to, doesn't mean you have to go along with whatever. Don't be so open to the four winds.

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34 minutes ago, Cynder said:

Right now I'm actually finding a lot of power in being alone.  I'm using power for the lack of a better word.  It just feels really liberating knowing that I just cut off all these toxic people at once. 

Yes! Power and liberation are exactly the words to signify that you've reached the right stage in your maturity to transform an otherwise devastating experience into a total pivot in the way you will approach most aspects of your life going forward.

This doesn't invalidate your past, you're just no longer limited by it. You're shedding the weight of the dark aura, and your vision is clearing. This speaks to why you may want to honor some increased needs to recharge with more sleep, even while you can opt to be gentle with yourself rather than ramp up anxiety about it.

Quote

It's a lot harder to make friends in adulthood.  I just hope I don't become like my Mom.  She's a really lonely person because she lost most of her friends when she quit drinking. 

Don't fear. Your Mom associated her social life with drinking, and she has found sobriety easier without socializing. She can certainly opt to change that view at any time to pursue some creative or health interests that might plant some social seeds, but she's holding back for her own reasons.

You won't sentence yourself to the same outcome.

Consider the scripts you feed your mind going forward. If you believe that friendships will be hard to make, you will efficiently make them far more difficult than necessary.

For now, don't concern yourself. While your focus may be dedicated to preparing for your shows at this time, allow for proper rest and think of it as mind-expansion time. It will serve you in multiple ways, like layers in an onion. You're fortifying your layers on the inside and working outward--so allow for lag time.

You may also want to think of some gentle ways to coax your Mom into trying out some simple fun things with you. This being a time of concentrated energetics for you, it might impress you how reparative (for both of you) such small efforts can be. And don't worry about time--you will STILL knock your art production out of the park for your shows.

EnjOy!

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Posted (edited)

So tonight he sent me a pic of himself flicking off a cop car and said he wanted to get a tattoo of it. Then he told me that him and his friend stopped talking because she won't feed his cats when he goes into the psych ward.   He already told me that.  But tonight he added that he can't handle face to face conflict because he will either be too passive or want to kill someone.  And then he told me I am the only "f'er" he's  ever said that to.  His words, not mine.  

I kept my answers as short as possible.  He clearly has problems and I don't want to make him mad.  But I also am really creeped out.  

He kept asking me if I trust him tonight.  I told him at this point in my life I don't trust anyone.  And he told me he is a loyal and trustworthy person.   I said "That's exactly what non trustworthy people say."  After that he said goodnight.  Wonder if he knows I'm not exactly vibing with him.  

Edited by Cynder
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Stop answering his invasive questions. Stop having these convesations with him altogether. 

When he asked you if you trust him, you should have said you don't wish to disucss your personal life with him anymore. Period. No more repsonses to his questions. 

You're giving him too much space to be inappropriate. Unless you set better boundaries and shut down his bizarre trains of thought and weird questions, he will keep doing this. 

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10 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Stop answering his invasive questions. Stop having these convesations with him altogether. 

When he asked you if you trust him, you should have said you don't wish to disucss your personal life with him anymore. Period. No more repsonses to his questions. 

You're giving him too much space to be inappropriate. Unless you set better boundaries and shut down his bizarre trains of thought and weird questions, he will keep doing this. 

Setting boundaries is definitely something I need to work on.  I'll admit I suck at it.  When I was growing up I wasn't allowed any boundaries so I guess I just never learned how.  I'm not saying that as an excuse.  There's a difference between a reason and an excuse.  

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Yes, I would start by not returning his messages or calls that have nothing to do with work. 

And I would respond only during what would be typical working hours (from 9-5, for example) 

If he keeps it up, either finish the work as soon as possible or remove yourself from this project and be done. You need to cut contact with this person. He is unhinged. 

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35 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Yes, I would start by not returning his messages or calls that have nothing to do with work. 

And I would respond only during what would be typical working hours (from 9-5, for example) 

If he keeps it up, either finish the work as soon as possible or remove yourself from this project and be done. You need to cut contact with this person. He is unhinged. 

Yea... I cant handle face to face conflict because I might want to kill someone is beyond unhinged.  Honestly he needs to go to the hospital. 

And he's always telling me about this friend or that friend that stopped talking to him.  Well if you smell crap everywhere you go, check your shoes.  

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On 3/22/2022 at 2:14 AM, Cynder said:

When he picked up the last one he offered to take me out for a drink, which I agreed to as long as it was clear this was just platonic.

This one stood out to me. I am self employed / own my own business and yes, I think it is normal that parties who do business together might invite each other occasionally for lunch / dinner, even though I never invited / never have been invited for just a drink. If I were you, I would reflect on the fact that you said, you were fine “as long as it was clear this was just platonic”. I never had to say that for a business invitation. Did you have a gut feeling that something was off?

3 hours ago, Cynder said:

Setting boundaries is definitely something I need to work on.  I'll admit I suck at it. 

You have set the first step, acknowledging that you suck at something, you are not in denial. So now you can start and make changes.

One thing to start with, is to understand that you don’t have to answer to every text/message/e-mail.

He has commissioned a few paintings, that`s all. There is no need to communicate with him, unless it is about the paintings. Repeat this to yourself every day. There is also no need to reply instantly and at every time of the day.

I have made it a rule for myself to not reply to a message, when that message upsets me. I leave it to the next day, and that works wonders for me. The next day, things are not half as bad as they seemed the day before.

Keep posting and stay safe!

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7 hours ago, Blue_Skirt said:

If I were you, I would reflect on the fact that you said, you were fine “as long as it was clear this was just platonic”. I never had to say that for a business invitation. Did you have a gut feeling that something was off?

I think that's a really good place to start with addressing boundary issues. In the future, if you feel that this distinction needs to be made, you're probably better off declining the invitations. 

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1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

I think that's a really good place to start with addressing boundary issues. In the future, if you feel that this distinction needs to be made, you're probably better off declining the invitations. 

Well that was actually the first time we met face to face.  Before that all of our communication was online and we didn't really know what each other looked like, etc.  So when he asked if he could take me out for a drink I just wanted to make sure before ever leaving that that wasn't what he was expecting.  Like ok, if you are wanting a date I'm not interested.  If this is just you being friendly I'm ok with it.  I think a lot of people find themselves in that position sometimes.  People can use tricky wording to make things sound completely different than what they actually mean.  I just wanted to make sure he wasn't expecting something I wasn't going to give him. 

A few years ago I ran into a male acquaintance I hadn't seen in a long time who just got out of a relationship and he was really down.  He asked me if I wanted to go somewhere and talk. I did this with him, too.  Like ok, if all you want is to talk then fine.  But if by talk you actually mean something else, then no.  

Idk... maybe it's because I got myself in a bad situation once because of something like this.  When I was a teenager I met someone who called me and asked me "So do you want to go out?"  And I told him yes thinking that meant we were going out on a date.  But by "go out," He actually meant "be my girlfriend."  And so then I was in this really awkward position because I just me this guy and here he is thinking we are in a relationship.  And then when I told him no that's not what I wanted then I was the one playing games and messing with his emotions.

I could go on and on about the linguistics and semantics that confuse people in the dating world.  Saying "John and Jane are talking."  Could mean anything from they are just talking/flirting to they are hooking up/sleeping together.  To say John is dating Jane could mean that they are just getting to know each other and going on dates or it could mean they are a couple and pretty serious.  To say John and Jane are seeing each other is basically the same thing.  Could mean they are in a relationship.  Could mean they are just going on dates with each other and it's not serious.  Fake shady people use this stuff to their advantage. I was just trying to protect myself from unnecessary drama.  

 

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10 minutes ago, Cynder said:

Well that was actually the first time we met face to face.  Before that all of our communication was online and we didn't really know what each other looked like

You need to see your work as business. It is totally irrelevant what the other person looks like. I work in financial services and over the years I have worked with many people across Europe and the US that I have never met in person. I communicated with them over the phone or by e-mail.

When you are in a business setting and you get an invitation, I think one should never have to think about whether it is platonic or not, because for me the default is that it should be pure business.

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Posted (edited)
13 minutes ago, Blue_Skirt said:

You need to see your work as business. It is totally irrelevant what the other person looks like. I work in financial services and over the years I have worked with many people across Europe and the US that I have never met in person. I communicated with them over the phone or by e-mail.

When you are in a business setting and you get an invitation, I think one should never have to think about whether it is platonic or not, because for me the default is that it should be pure business.

That's fine.  What I sell is an actual object that people have to come and physically pick up.  I'm not going to sit here and defend how I run my company to you.  I've been in business for over a decade now and I do pretty well for myself.  So apparently I'm doing something right.  Not saying you're doing things wrong.  But being an artist is a little different than selling financial services that can be done remotely. 

I get the feeling if I would have not said anything about it being platonic there would be people here shaking virtual fingers at me telling me it's all my fault because I made him think it was something more.  Lol. 

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I agree that being an artist is different than what I do, but I have worked in a normal office setting before. I have had meetings with people in the office, I have traveled across Europe for meetings, so being in financial services in my case is not something like sitting behind the computer the whole day, be on the phone and writing e-mails.

Now that I have my own business I work more from my home office, but I still have meetings with clients.

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27 minutes ago, Blue_Skirt said:

I agree that being an artist is different than what I do, but I have worked in a normal office setting before. I have had meetings with people in the office, I have traveled across Europe for meetings, so being in financial services in my case is not something like sitting behind the computer the whole day, be on the phone and writing e-mails.

Now that I have my own business I work more from my home office, but I still have meetings with clients.

I travel around too.  I sell my work at festivals.  I really don't see what that has to do with anything in this thread. 

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