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Long Distance Craziness part 1


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I do not know where to even begin. My emotions are just all over the place.... hurt, angry, feelings of being used, betrayed and abandoned

It all started in May of 2021. There is an app called meetme, where I met this girl, who I will call "Bee". I would go to Bee's streams and chat with her, which I did for the past year or so. She would play r&b music on her android phone and talk about assorted topics. She caught my attention, while I caught hers as well. On May 15th 2021 we officially "dated", and I made plans to meet up with her at some point in that summer. We exchanged Facebook accounts, and made this relationship official on there as well. I met her friends, and well my former friends did not take her too kindly. She is a single mother with two kids, multiple tattoos, and looks like trouble. She told me that my former friends were out to take her soul, to change her into something she isn't, so on and so forth. My former friends were around since 2015, I only kept them around for reasons of my own. So, I got rid of them by June. The first attempt of her dumping me was on my birthday which was on 3 June. She told me "I know I am going to hurt you, I just know it. Go worship your friends." We patched things up that day, and she sent me about 500 dollars as a gift. Every 15th of the month, we would sent each other gifts, until October... I would be the only one to send her any gifts. 

In July I planned on taking a flight to New Orleans to meet her, we had things planned. Her best friend, with her kids and Bee's kids were driving around waiting to see me. Sadly, that flight was cancelled. The next attempt was around August, I was talking to Bee while on the flight and she told me I was *bleeping* crazy for even planning to come while the hurricane was going to hit. I was going to die and the hotel roof would fall, plus she was going to be with the kids. So, i unboarded the flight and went home. We would spend 24/7 on Facetime or on the phone. On my days off, our conversations would be steamy to say the least. I bought her a promise ring, around July and wanted to give it to her when I got to see her, however this never materialized. I threw out the ring in a fit of anger. On 26 September, she decided to call off the relationship to "focus on God and her kids", which of course was a lie.   

For now this ends part 1 

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For the past three weeks, my long distance ex was acting up. She blocked my number and would call me on a burner number. She would not tell me what was going on initially, only that everything was overwhelming her. 

Last Sunday, she called me saying that some guy who was living with her for 5 years was going through a spiritual crisis. That is new girlfriend was a satanist and he was going to the dark side, and she needed to save his soul. This guy who was living with her was very abusive to her, and would threaten her, and even hit her... She went off telling me, that she is the light of the world and this is her mission. Mind you, she never finished high school, lives off the government and has two kids (by two different men). From last Sunday until last Wednesday we spoke on the phone constantly, as was in times past. Again, she blocked me on Wednesday. She told me that she wanted to cut off all contact with me and said her life is in chaos. She feels alone and has to focus on her kids and God. Of course, I believe this to be a lie. 

What should I do ? I supported her for nine months, paying her phone bill, pay her bills in general, buying her things and also for her kids as well. We planned on getting married in June. I got her a butterfly engagement ring. 

I like to think, and told her, she was using me. She told me, honestly, she wasn't but if i want to believe that, feel free

I told her she was a waste of time and a mistake in my life. She got all depressed and was crying 

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You never met in person, so it's as simple as deleting and blocking her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local, single, real life women. Stop wasting money on camgirls.

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I dunno who is more crazy:

- Her who is cleary a major lunatic

- Or you who paid her bills, stood by her, even abandon your friends. For somebody who says

3 hours ago, gdemetrios said:

She told me that my former friends were out to take her soul

Or stuff like

2 hours ago, gdemetrios said:

She went off telling me, that she is the light of the world and this is her mission.

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I read your other post.  She is not your ex.  She is an online stranger you ended up sending money to.  She called it off -perhaps she is doing jail time for some financial crime is my best guess.  Or her husband found out.  Whatever. I'd stop telling myself this was someone you were in a relationship with.  Your bank account was in a financial arrangement with her -that is all.  I'm sorry.

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4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

You never met in person, so it's as simple as deleting and blocking her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local, single, real life women. Stop wasting money on camgirls.

She took care of that on her end. There is the occasional text from her, saying that life is a nightmare, she feels alone. She is in bed all the time crying. I believe something is up. 
 

i tell her have fun with the husband in that trailer. She replies no husband, I’m nobody’s Mrs. and belong to God. She tells me she needs help, I tell her she did to herself and she can help herself

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4 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dunno who is more crazy:

- Her who is cleary a major lunatic

- Or you who paid her bills, stood by her, even abandon your friends. For somebody who says

Or stuff like

1- I couldn’t stand my former friends for years. They weren’t even real friends I would say to begin with. They were just numbers to me

 

2- in the start of the relationship, she offered to buy me an iPhone and wanted me to be on her plan. I refused. She offered me money to get a car, again, I refused. Later on in, in around November-December she would send me posts to houses in Louisiana wanting to move in, while I stay here and work. 
 

3- I would tell her this was all part of a bizzare plot to do something to hurt me and to bring me down. She is a single mom with two kids and has had a rough life, something must be really wrong with her. Then again it isn’t my problem. She did it to herself 

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5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

You never met in person, so it's as simple as deleting and blocking her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local, single, real life women. Stop wasting money on camgirls.

I have since 2017. I met so many people and in 2-3 weeks I just loose interest or I find out something that I do not like about them. 
 

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You were scammed, plain and simple.

I really don't understand people who would rather send heaps of money and have a "relationship" with their phones and laptops than date a real live woman they can hug and kiss and share experiences with in person.

Date in person, not over electronic devices (which is actually impossible to do).

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4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Certainly if you meet in person, anyone is better than some crazy scammer you never met, no?

The people I have met before her have had some sort of past. If she lived where I lived, I wouldn’t have given her the time of day. Her past would ended any hope in my eyes. 
 

There was a person who I met before her. This person lives in a shelter has a daughter and fell in love with me, for some weird reason. I told her, nothing will ever happen, she needed to suppress her feelings and move on. She would tell me in reply to open up my heart to her. She has much to offer despite her situation. I would tell her, there are factors in your life which eliminated any chance. Eventually she became a stalker 

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9 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

You were scammed, plain and simple.

I really don't understand people who would rather send heaps of money and have a "relationship" with their phones and laptops than date a real live woman they can hug and kiss and share experiences with in person.

Date in person, not over electronic devices (which is actually impossible to do).

In my case, it was a chance I took. There is much more to this than what I said in my posts. Much more. This is a single mom who has had a hard life, and she shared so much information with me during our time electronically. 
 

I tell her she used me and abandoned me just like people in my past. She would send voice messages on my phone and tell me no, no please I didn’t. My hatred is hurting her just like her life is. She has nowhere to turn to and is suffering. When I finish hearing her voice messages, I just say to myself, she is the dumb one who got herself into this situation, she only has herself to help and to blame. She never finished high school and is in her 30s. When we spoke, I told her of a 120 day plan for her to get her ged and to find a job. 

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2 minutes ago, gdemetrios said:

In my case, it was a chance I took. There is much more to this than what I said in my posts. Much more. This is a single mom who has had a hard life, and she shared so much information with me during our time electronically. 
 

I tell her she used me and abandoned me just like people in my past. She would send voice messages on my phone and tell me no, no please I didn’t. My hatred is hurting her just like her life is. She has nowhere to turn to and is suffering. When I finish hearing her voice messages, I just say to myself, she is the dumb one who got herself into this situation, she only has herself to help and to blame. She never finished high school and is in her 30s. When we spoke, I told her of a 120 day plan for her to get her ged and to find a job. 

I think you need professional counseling to figure out why you are making these destructive choices.

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6 minutes ago, gdemetrios said:

 If she lived where I lived, I wouldn’t have given her the time of day. 

There was a person who I met before her. This person lives in a shelter

Why are you seeking out distance scammers and women in homeless shelters?

Are you unable to meet decent women through social interactions? 

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3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why are you seeking out distance scammers and women in homeless shelters?

Are you unable to meet decent women through social interactions? 

The other person I met on a social media app. 
 

I tried meeting people from all over since 2015, again nobody sparks my interest within 2-3 weeks. I cut them off and go to the next person. It’s been like this for years. Any new friendships I had since then, I never bothered to maintain. If I feel a person isn’t worthy enough, I cut them off. I have done it all the time. I was in a relationship with someone from 2013 until 2014. What happened with this relationship shaped how I view people. Generally I am suspicious of peoples motives and intentions, and think a person is out to hurt me or do harm to me. If I feel this way, I vanish. 

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9 minutes ago, gdemetrios said:

In my case, it was a chance I took. There is much more to this than what I said in my posts. Much more. This is a single mom who has had a hard life, and she shared so much information with me during our time electronically. 
 

I tell her she used me and abandoned me just like people in my past. She would send voice messages on my phone and tell me no, no please I didn’t. My hatred is hurting her just like her life is. She has nowhere to turn to and is suffering. When I finish hearing her voice messages, I just say to myself, she is the dumb one who got herself into this situation, she only has herself to help and to blame. She never finished high school and is in her 30s. When we spoke, I told her of a 120 day plan for her to get her ged and to find a job. 

This doesn't address the point of my response, which is why do you prefer online interactions over actually spending time with a woman physically in person?  And why do you fall for sob stories from online scammers to the point where you're sending her heaps of money?

She never actually would have sent you any money.  First of all, she just said that to make herself seem legit. And secondly, if she's struggling so badly where would she get the money to buy you a car and a phone?  Didn't she claim to be on "government assistance"?

Don't you want to hug, kiss, hold hands with and cuddle a real, live woman?  Or do electronic interactions do enough for you?

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8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I think you need professional counseling to figure out why you are making these destructive choices.

When I spoke to her, we both thought we connected strongly. She told me she was very impressed with the type of person I am. My knowledge of multiple topics, my demeanor, so on and so forth. From her photos, it looks like she is “loose” person if you can call it that. Her best friend would tell she had a very hard life and is placing her hopes in me. She saw me as this guy who could “save her” from a situation she is in. 
 

I actively sought out help because of this situation. I believe something is wrong with me. I’m alone and isolated. I go to work, go home, go to the gym…. No friends, no nothing. 

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Just now, gdemetrios said:

When I spoke to her, we both thought we connected strongly. She told me she was very impressed with the type of person I am. My knowledge of multiple topics, my demeanor, so on and so forth. From her photos, it looks like she is “loose” person if you can call it that. Her best friend would tell she had a very hard life and is placing her hopes in me. She saw me as this guy who could “save her” from a situation she is in. 
 

I actively sought out help because of this situation. I believe something is wrong with me. I’m alone and isolated. I go to work, go home, go to the gym…. No friends, no nothing. 

I'm glad  you are seeking professional help.  Watch the feet- what the person does -not the lips- what the person says.  And mostly in person not an online stranger typing words.

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3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Sounds like you get a thrill from feeling like the hero rescuing the damsel in distress, often while hiding behind a screen cause it's safer. All means you don't have to be vulnerable.

I promised her many things

A new home by the start of the year. A new life by the start of the year. I told her everything is going to be alright, she will see the new life I have ready for her. Don’t worry. 

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1 minute ago, gdemetrios said:

I promised her many things

A new home by the start of the year. A new life by the start of the year. I told her everything is going to be alright, she will see the new life I have ready for her. Don’t worry. 

I'm not going to respond further to the fantasy-type interactions you describe. I gave you my input above.  I feel that would be encouraging you if I do.

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