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What in the actual hell


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Ok...story goes like this...I try to meet new people at board game group. I happened to introduce myself to an attractive young lady, and offered to teach her and her large group of friends a party game...afterwards it seemed like everyone went off on their way, and since nobody really wanted to talk to me...I figured rather than be awkward, I headed to my car.  Well, the girl in question, along with her friend, chased me down in the parking lot to ask for my number. I texted later that night, but didn't receive a response for 3 days. I've heard of the 3 day rule, so I let it slide. anyways, we agree to another night of board games (it's like a hybrid board game/coffee shop), and, when I left, I found out she paid my tab. Well, I liked her, but was rather confused, so I figured I'd give it a shot and see if she was up for hanging out....I would text once a week for 3 weeks to see if she was up for hanging out....she said she was busy, or out of town...not only that but she never really texted me and always cut the convos short. I figured she wasn't interested... so I stopped texting altogether.  Lo and behold...today she's texting me asking me to hang out...ironically I am out of town now...but her behavior is incredibly confusing.

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Tell her you will take a rain check on hanging out and will let her know when you are back in town.  Then try something different to change this dynamic up.  Call her on the phone, a real voice call.  If she doesn't answer leave this message.  "Looks like I missed you, I will try back again some other time"  No more and no less then just leave it be.  If she contacts you then that is good but if you don't hear back wait several days and text her and invite her to hang out.

Trying to figure out what someone else is thinking will just lead you down a path of guessing and more uncertainty.  Focus on what you have control over and stick to that.

  In the end keeping busy and not trying to know what other people are thinking is best for you.  Don't stop your life because she is hard to read.

 Lost

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4 hours ago, drivenfuture said:

...I would text once a week for 3 weeks to see if she was up for hanging out....she said she was busy, or out of town...not only that but she never really texted me and always cut the convos short.

Sounds like she's marginally interested, but you sound pretty unenthusiastic yourself by texting once a week talking about "hanging out".

Texting and hanging out is not dating. It's friendzoning yourself.

If you are interested, wait until you are available and ask her on a real date.

Continue to go to the boardgames group and socialize and have fun.

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You could just updated the first thread you opened about the same girl and issue. 

Anyway, if its confusing, they are not interested. I wouldnt read too much into it, maybe she just wants you to teach her another board game. So if you go to hang out, just treat it as such. And not as a dating situation.

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My take, her behaviour is her friend zoning you, hence her paying your tab. Paying the tab says to most, but not all, don't get any ideas about romantic interest. Why doesn't she just say so? She doesn't want to full on reject you. Most women by nature don't like upsetting people. She just enjoys what you contribute and that's teaching new games.

So what I wrote is just a guess. You can try and give this a shot going on the theory that we desire most what we can't have. Be cool, a little aloof, mysterious, let her earn you attention by her approaching you. It maybe something new for you to do, but I would give it a try. Remember a good sense of friendly banter/teasing can go a long way in building attraction. That can easily be done when playing games right? Best of luck.

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