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On 3/9/2022 at 6:36 PM, AnonAccount7 said:

He got angry, yelling at me that nothing traumatic happened to me, so I shouldn't be sad.... I don't understand where his anger is coming from.... I've been forced into silence and I catch myself faking good moods to avoid the anger. 

Has he recently gone through a difficult or traumatic situation? More pressure at work perhaps? Could he be having an affair? It sounds like he's not being very nice to you. 

My boyfriend loves video games and plays them for hours at a time. But he's still sensitive to my needs, still spends time with me. If you're ignoring your partner, what's the point of a relationship? Division of labor?

On 3/9/2022 at 10:30 PM, AnonAccount7 said:

Devision of workload is something we argue about a lot.

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You can pull yourself out of this whole all by yourself (with the help of classes/hobbies/goals/social interactions/loved ones/therapy - definitely try and get your hands on a psychologist and if you can’t afford that, at the very least find and make friends with woebot on Facebook or download the app). And as you’re getting out of the hole, you might find yourself wondering do I really want a life partner who wouldn’t even offer me a hand? 

Yeah, he might feel overwhelmed by your neediness, and you can work on that. But what a ***ty way to communicate it? There are other partners out there for you who will either have the reserves of care enough to help you out and then nudge you into therapy or can at least communicate in a kind way that they can’t take this load on at the moment, and then nudge you into therapy. 

Being lonely in a relationship is worse than being alone and if your husband won’t come to the table and work with you I strongly recommend leaving him. 

Edit to add: Leaving when you have 4 kids is not exactly easy. So, you’d probably start by dreaming up what leaving would look like and how it could be done. And if there are logistics that make it near impossible right now then mentally reassign your partner as ‘the support that keeps the kids clothed and fed only’. Depressing but you will not be the first woman that stays for the stability, many brave sisters have gone before you. (In this case pulling yourself out of the hole is even more important!)

Edited by 1a1a
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