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My heart aches badly after my narcissist ex left me, I need your advice and words of wisdom


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2 hours ago, SherrySher said:

Allow yourself better.

He doesn't deserve you, I doubt he ever did. 

I know what it's like to be stuck in a cycle of being addicted to someone toxic and isn't good for you.

It's hard to quit and to force yourself to stop wondering, and stop caring.

But it's more than possible.

You need to give yourself a better future. Only you can do that. 

Heal yourself, move forward (without him), and open the door to the possibility of someone better for you down the road. (It might even be a few years), but that's okay, as long as you realize that this is not the end, and he is not going to leave you lying there broken.

You will rise again, and have a better future with someone who will love you properly.

I believe in you.

Everyone told me that he doesn't deserve me, I wish I listened, but I admit I wasn't experienced in real healthy relationships and adding to that how sensitive and fragile of a person I am. He used that very well and I allowed it, but not anymore. This time I'm 100% done with him and for the first time I feel that if he ever tries to make any try, I'm ready to shut him off. Now it's just about me and all the emotions I'm dealing with, that's all. The only important thing now is me and my journey to a successful life I've always dreamed of. Thank you again for believing in me. I'm slowly starting to feel better.

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5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That's complete paranoid nonsense. Find a physician. MD. They treat depression, anxiety etc.

It's starting to get unclear if any of this story is true. 

I thought the same, but I will do my best to find a good specialist and probably give it a shot. I think I definitely need it. Thank you!

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23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That's complete paranoid nonsense. Find a physician. MD. They treat depression, anxiety etc.

It's starting to get unclear if any of this story is true. 

Yet you are able to diagnose personality disorders? 

You don't seem to want help, just writing on and on and on about wild conspiracies.

I'm not sure what you talking about? I've only mentioned what I heard and what happened to people who tried going to a therapist where I live. Why are you attacking me? I never said anything about wild conspiracies! There are some things you don't know.

I definitely want help otherwise I wouldn't be wasting time here or searching. and I mentioned that I had no idea if he was a narcissist or not, never experienced this before and I was not diagnosing just trying to understand, but after reading many experiences and info from therapists and watching many videos I realized he has many traits if not all of them. 

You can just ignore my post if you don't want to help, no need to write some negative stuff and make me feel worse.

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45 minutes ago, Yostina said:

I definitely want help otherwise I wouldn't be wasting time here

Help was offered. You can see a physician to talk about your physical and mental health. You were not "attacked". Nonsense conspiracy theories about therapists was addressed.

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3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Help was offered. You can see a physician to talk about your physical and mental health. You were not "attacked". Nonsense conspiracy theories about therapists was addressed.

There is no harm in sharing my feelings with the people in this forum whenever I feel I need a push to keep strong and move forward. Apparently I'm at a stage where I feel lost so not even the last thing I would want to hear is someone hinting that I'm dishonest with my story.

You doubted my story for no reason and you say those stories about therapists are nonsense. I'm not the one creating them and I've seen at least one in front of my eyes that happened to a friend of my sister. Things happen, not everywhere is the same.

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The suggestions and advice offered on the web are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. 

It's unhelpful to propagate rumors about therapists. 

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4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

The suggestions and advice offered on the web are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. 

It's unhelpful to propagate rumors about therapists. 

I know these are opinions, but many of them are coming from experience so it's good to hear them and it helps regardless. Plus, I did not propagate rumors or anything. You asked me if I can see a physician and I told you why I couldn't do it until now.

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1 hour ago, Yostina said:

Everyone told me that he doesn't deserve me, I wish I listened, but I admit I wasn't experienced in real healthy relationships and adding to that how sensitive and fragile of a person I am. He used that very well and I allowed it, but not anymore. This time I'm 100% done with him and for the first time I feel that if he ever tries to make any try, I'm ready to shut him off. Now it's just about me and all the emotions I'm dealing with, that's all. The only important thing now is me and my journey to a successful life I've always dreamed of. Thank you again for believing in me. I'm slowly starting to feel better.

Are you having a chance to reflect on your other hopes/goals for your career? It helps to have a routine in your day. Heartbreak is challenging but not impossible to get through. 

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6 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Are you having a chance to reflect on your other hopes/goals for your career? It helps to have a routine in your day. Heartbreak is challenging but not impossible to get through. 

Today I started writing down my thoughts and plan what I want to do with my life. It's helping me feel more organized and I know now where to start from. It's also kinda helping to shift my focus from the situation and fill me with hope for a better future.

I have been working from home for 2 years now which had an impact, but next week I will start going to the office, hit the gym, and work on achieving my dream career according to plan. I hope I quickly restore my sanity as soon as possible.

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6 minutes ago, Yostina said:

Today I started writing down my thoughts and plan what I want to do with my life. It's helping me feel more organized and I know now where to start from. It's also kinda helping to shift my focus from the situation and fill me with hope for a better future.

I have been working from home for 2 years now which had an impact, but next week I will start going to the office, hit the gym, and work on achieving my dream career according to plan. I hope I quickly restore my sanity as soon as possible.

That’s great to hear. Yes, shift your thoughts to you.  

I also work from home and I agree with you that it can have an impact. I think going into the office will be a positive. A change of environment can be a great help also. Have a simple routine and stick to it. If there are three things you must do in a day do those three. Slowly build from there as your heart desires whether it’s hobbies etc.

I can’t emphasize more eating well and watching your diet also. Avoid caffeine too late in the day, excess alcohol and other bad habits. Exercise is a great way to release all that energy and the endorphins from exercise are a good boost. Keep posting. 😊 

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28 minutes ago, Yostina said:

Today I started writing down my thoughts and plan what I want to do with my life. It's helping me feel more organized and I know now where to start from. It's also kinda helping to shift my focus from the situation and fill me with hope for a better future.

I have been working from home for 2 years now which had an impact, but next week I will start going to the office, hit the gym, and work on achieving my dream career according to plan. I hope I quickly restore my sanity as soon as possible.

You sound very intelligent and know what you need to do.

We are here cheering you on.

 

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21 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

That’s great to hear. Yes, shift your thoughts to you.  

I also work from home and I agree with you that it can have an impact. I think going into the office will be a positive. A change of environment can be a great help also. Have a simple routine and stick to it. If there are three things you must do in a day do those three. Slowly build from there as your heart desires whether it’s hobbies etc.

I can’t emphasize more eating well and watching your diet also. Avoid caffeine too late in the day, excess alcohol and other bad habits. Exercise is a great way to release all that energy and the endorphins from exercise are a good boost. Keep posting. 😊 

I totally agree! I will make sure I follow your advice. My next post will hopefully be about the progress I made. I appreciate your kind input Rose!😊 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey there, I thought to write a little update.

I feel much better. The anger and the self blame is much less than before. Sadness strikes me every now and then, but I try to shift my focus to something else.

I joined the gym, I met up with old friends, I've done a lot of reading on how to heal and accept the situation and just let go. I have zero urge to contact him, honestly. I was checking his twitter and whatsapp , but now like I almost stopped because I don't want to see something that sets me back, but last friday, I noticed a fake account checking my Instagram stories (I'm an influencer on social media so I can't make it private), he checked me twice on that day and his friend and his wife were still following and I was following them, later they unfollowed me which obviously he told them, because they already knew we broke up and the wife was liking my story, but on that same day they unfollowed and so I did the same. Then the next day morning I saw that he blocked me on twitter. I mean I already blocked and deleted him from everywhere plus his account is private so that was quite meaningless and I guess an angry reaction because he didn't like what he saw on my insta stories. I was at the gym and I was posting funny posts so I was obviously careless and seem fine. The weird thing is he still saves my number on whatsapp which is so dumb. Oh and he deactivated that fake account and stopped checking for now. I don't know why he is lurking still while he is the one who abandoned me. 

He still contacts my sister regarding our business only because this last step is related to him and after that I will tell her to delete him as well.

I really know and understand that I should totally stop checking and this is the step I should work on more now. I hope I become stronger with time.

Once again I want to thank you all for supporting me. 😀

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