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Am I reading too much into his gift?


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I am a female and have a crush on a man I work with. We have worked together a few years now and I feel there is sexual tension. I have been to unsure and scared to act on anything.   
 

Anyway, a few months ago for Christmas holiday, he gave me a gift I been thinking about since. He bought me hand soap and hand sanitizer from a well known body care store as well as some candy and a hand written, heartfelt Christmas card. In his card, he expressed his thanks for my kindness and dedication to our clients as well as my constant smiles. It also says he feels he can come to me for anything, even an ill timed joke. Lastly, it says it hopes my heart fills with love and joy this holiday season. 
 

this kind of threw me for a loop. We have a good professional working relationship and we are friendly, perhaps even flirty. But we are not really friends or know each other well. We don’t talk or see each other outside of work. I don’t even have his number. I work in a female dominated industry and he is one of few men. We don’t even work in the same department, so we don’t work closely together. In fact, he has many women in his department he works much more closely with and are friendly with. I cannot imagine he spent money on all of them, or took the time to write them all personal cards. But maybe I’m wrong and he did?

So is this normal or appropriate for a man to do? Would you men out there write a card like this and buy a gift for a female coworker you unless you were good friends or more? Or am I reading too much into this, and he’s just a nice guy?

 

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5 hours ago, blossom7289 said:

 for Christmas holiday, he gave me a gift I been thinking about since. He bought me hand soap and hand sanitizer.

Are either of you married/ in other relationships? Is he a supervisor or just a co-worker?

The gift is not romantic at all. You're hoping so because of a crush.

What do you mean by. "appropriate"? Do you seriously believe hand sanitizer is sexual harassment?

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You have a crush on him, so you see things through your pink glasses. Hand sanitizer (no matter what famous store it comes from) and a few other things as a Christmas gift from a co-worker who I don’t know very well and with whom I am not really friends? I think I would be slightly irritated rather than anything else.

Now I have to admit that I am a member of the “Stop Buying Gifts for Birthdays, Holidays, Valentines’ Day, Whatever Day and Prevent Regifting Gifts” Club, so I guess that makes a difference.

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Nobody can tell you this. We have some holidays where its OK to gift women you work with even stuff like flowers(8th March is "Womens Day" its pretty big here, you give flowers to women you are close with). For Western culture that is Christmas. So its maybe just friendly or something more.

Did he gifted it to all women he works or just you? Were their gifts different?

Also he doesnt engage with you outside of work. So it might be just friendly colleague thing. Because otherwise, he would probably at least try contact outside of work environment. Or at least inviteyou on coffee or drinks. 

Also, also, if you are interested you could probably give him some signs of that to see how he reacts. However, its not really a good idea to date coworkers if you both decide to go that way. 

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12 hours ago, blossom7289 said:

I am a female and have a crush on a man I work with. We have worked together a few years now and I feel there is sexual tension. I have been to unsure and scared to act on anything.   
 

Anyway, a few months ago for Christmas holiday, he gave me a gift I been thinking about since. He bought me hand soap and hand sanitizer from a well known body care store as well as some candy and a hand written, heartfelt Christmas card. In his card, he expressed his thanks for my kindness and dedication to our clients as well as my constant smiles. It also says he feels he can come to me for anything, even an ill timed joke. Lastly, it says it hopes my heart fills with love and joy this holiday season. 
 

this kind of threw me for a loop. We have a good professional working relationship and we are friendly, perhaps even flirty. But we are not really friends or know each other well. We don’t talk or see each other outside of work. I don’t even have his number. I work in a female dominated industry and he is one of few men. We don’t even work in the same department, so we don’t work closely together. In fact, he has many women in his department he works much more closely with and are friendly with. I cannot imagine he spent money on all of them, or took the time to write them all personal cards. But maybe I’m wrong and he did?

So is this normal or appropriate for a man to do? Would you men out there write a card like this and buy a gift for a female coworker you unless you were good friends or more? Or am I reading too much into this, and he’s just a nice guy?

 

I think the gifts are thoughtful but also ones that can be purchased in bulk by the box easily or cheaply so I’m not surprised if he has gifted everyone the same thing. It was also a Christmas gift and a holiday celebrated or acknowledged even by non-Christians. It is not like it was a birthday gift or a thank you card. Working as long as I have, yes, I have seen individuals handwrite cards regularly.

Do you know whether he’s single? I’d leave this in the professional realm anyway and not think more of it. It’s best to date someone outside of work. 

Edited by Rose Mosse
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