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Is this considered cheating? I want to make things right.


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8 hours ago, bellajo1986 said:

I just hate that I caused another human pain. 

Does he care that he causes you pain by dumping you frequently and having sex with other women?

Bella, I would strongly urge you to seek some counselling. You have been in an emotioanlly-abusive relationship and are displaying the signs of a battered partner: assuming blame for the abuse, continuing to seek validation from your abuser, berating yourself up, and so on. 

This relationship was already way off in the ditch. Talking to this other guy wasn't the straw that broke the camel's back, because your insane boyfriend would have found another reason to dump you again anyway. Your conduct here is not what caused this to explode...yet again. 

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There's a difference between bruising someone's ego and hurting someone's deep feelings.
There's also a difference between being loyal to an abuser and being loyal in a healthy committed relationship.

It is concerning you can't make the difference between the above in your situation.
It's concerning you disregard a ton of BS with the single argument that you love someone.
It's concerning you love someone who emotionally abuses you, has zero respect towards you and constantly keeps you on edge.

It's twice as concerning that you also have a daughter. Kids pick on relationship patterns. For your own sake and the sake of your kid, please, seek help.

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Bella,

Please STOP blaming yourself. You are NOT guilty of doing anything wrong. You spoke to a friend whom you knew b4 your BF, and you both went to the gym to workout. You needed the outlet, the break. You accidentally dialed him... which, by the way - it made me laugh :-). Kind of like a sign, Karma, an OUT that you needed to finally say ENOUGH. 

You DID NOT hurt him. He stopped "Feeling" for you a LONG TIME ago. He just used that as an excuse. He was keeping you there (and God knows how many others on the side -even when you were ON). He wanted one more thing to BLAME YOU for something he's been doing all along - cheating.

YOU ARE NOT A CHEATER!
He has hurt you many more times than you can count. And that's NOT OKAY!
Take that phone call as a blessing.

Please take time for yourself. No shame in asking and getting help in person. (BUT, feel free to come here and vent, or seek additional help)

Sending love and positive vibes. 🙂

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I'd encourage you to reflect on why you want to make things right with a man who treats you badly.

A man who treats you poorly is worth zilch. Kick him to the curb. You deserve to be with someone who respects and values you.

Edited by greendots
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