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Just a bad night.

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It wasn’t even a bad night. But as the day drew out longer and longer and my ex continued to not reply to my last message the serious, real, permanence of the break up felt more and more true along with attendant sense of being abandoned and was all that about loving me just love bombing smoke and mirrors?

I had to work late filling in for someone else, I got really tired, almost falling asleep at my desk. When I finally knocked off I found my little kick board scooter that I bought when I was touring around Australia and have used extensively ever since, was gone. Security guard when asked said he saw an aboriginal couple cracking the lock about 15 minutes previous. He thought it must be there’s because they worked out the code. 

I stopped by the police station to make a report. What’s the odds the scooter is now in the southern parklands with the indig mob that hang out there? Not inconceivable. But I haven’t got the balls to look. While I was making my report, a steady procession of people having worse nights than me filtered in and out of the police station. A woman outside almost died. A guy I know from the Latin dance scene came in to make a report because he got into an argument with a taxi driver and the taxi driver hit him with his car. My stolen scooter feels soooo trivial compared to everyone else’s problems. But I earnt a fraction of what it will cost to replace tonight. And I have already had so much stuff stolen from me in the last half a year. I know we’re meant to have no earthly attachments but this is so hard. And it’s late, my friends are asleep, my partner is now my ex. So much for being there for me. I know I’m not alone but I feel so so so so alone, and crushingly sad, and tired, and there’s another half an hour drive between me and the potential to sleep. 

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I'm so sorry about the theft of your scooter.  That's seriously messed up.  

As for your ex, I recommend you stop messaging him.  You two are not a couple and the two of you have what they call "irreconcilable differences".  Which is OK, but he's not going to "be there" for you like a partner would.  Trying to get him to provide you with support when you're not in a relationship isn't really viable.

I hope a miracle happens and your scooter is found.  Or perhaps you could find a decent used one that costs much less?

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I just woke up from some unproductive dream about us, felt troubled about us separating, remembered my scooter is lost to arsehole and then (literally) felt a rumbling intensify and die away. Was that an earthquake?!!! I’ve never felt one before. That was creepy! I feel so much foreboding doom (also it’s 7.30am and the sun is rising and with only 2 hours sleep I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus). 

I have been so slow to get to understanding that Bolt. But this feels like being dumped over and over again. No contact surely has to hurt less. *jumps back on the classifieds to see what’s there* if I can snap up a secondhand one that will be awesome. I know what I’m looking for this time around. (I think maybe they don’t sell like hotcakes in my neck of the woods and not many people have them let alone have and want to sell). It’s such a useful thing to have id pony up the coin for a new one (and hopefully forget my loss faster once the inconvenience is mitigated). 

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