Jump to content

I need advice. Please read


Recommended Posts

So I've been adopted since I was a new born, I'm 19 now I'll be 20 in a few months. And my foster mom is so so controlling, I can't even spend the day with my boyfriend or either go out with friends for that matter. I'll explain why.

Recently there's just been things going on in the house where I just can't take anymore. My foster mom is so judgemental of people so she doesn't like my boyfriend bc he's 29, its a little age gap BUT were both adults and mature. Our relationship is healthy, he treats me right and respects me, he's loyal and I'm the same. He hasn't done anything to her for her to not like him shes just always been that way and just cares about herself and what she wants, she doesn't want me happy thats for sure shes broken apart every relationship I've had and they never did anything wrong to her. I dont want to leave someone just because someone else doesn't like them and opinions anyone has to say especially if they haven't done anything to anyone. I could see if he was a bad influence or he did something but he hasn't!! She just loves talking down on me and my relationship. I just wanna be happy for  once. I'm finally happy in a relationship where I love the person dearly and wanna be with forever.

I mentioned shes controlling I haven't been out since middle school or highschool days. And I've been trapped in this house not able to do anything but homework, i am in college. Heres an example of what happened. I've been meeting up with my boyfriend while shes at work and i be home by the time she gets home BUT she came home early and wanted to call other people talking *** about me and how i left, she even told my brother and he told her to put me out on the street since I wanted to leave. So i didnt come home till the next morning because i was trying to advoid an argument because she loves arguing with people to get her way and so i had a decision to make either to come back home the next morning or just stay with my boyfriend and figure it out, but i came home the next morning and we had a conversation about me leaving to spend time with him bc I dont ever go anywhere! And decided that i was just going to pack a bag and stay with my boyfriend and advoid all this and i get it she was mad but i just wanted time away from the house but now its just drama, and she wants to get offended when I told her to treat me like an adult and she wanted to say "if I wanted to move out I am not able to bring clothes, my phone, my laptop. Nothing. See how you like it out on the streets I'll kick your little ass out since you want to be grown and do what you wanna do"- is what she said. Let me inform you a little. My foster dad passed away from cancer last year and when he was alive, he payed everything in this house all she did was use him for his money. She didnt pay for a single thing. Now that he is gone she is trying to play victim acting like shes done something when she knows she never has she uses people. I didnt appericate how she treated my father, its unacceptable. 

Its just like I'm tired of dealing with this, its becoming an everyday thing when I leave or go spend the day with somebody or either wanting to move out its a big problem so now if i want to go somewhere or spend time with my boyfriend she specifcally has to be at home for me to do anything, i feel like it doesnt need to come to that i should be able to do what i want but i cant all she does is make excuses after excuses for when I wanna do something, shes not going to let me do what I want to do unless I step up and do it. Its just like there has been a hold on me since I've gotten older and everytime i ask to go out or do something its always a "no" I wanna live my life, my toxic ex boyfriend was the same way he never let me do anything with my life so its similar to this situation.

I wanted to come on here and say this because many people will think differently and think shes doing all this to protect me, but it isn't, she treats my sister the same way and sometimes my brother as well he moved far away from here. He wanted to get away from everything she has done, she even stole from me before! So its like anything I say or do I won't be able to do it bc she controls me and I let her do it bc I'm scared to do what I wanna do but then again I wanna step up and own up to what I wanna do but shes holding me back from doing it. And now today she walks around with an attitude and wants to talk *** about me and my boyfriend.

 I get that I left and didn't come home but damn, I'm an adult. I wanna feel supported by her not talk down on and treated like a kid. my boyfriend supports me through all of this and yet I have still a decision to make but  because she is so controlling. Any advice?? 

Edited by itsprettylove
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I thought you were away at college?  And from your previous post, You were only 18 when you got together; your much older boyfriend is grooming you to accept an emotionally abusive situation.  Sorry, but send di*k pics to other women does not make him a good guy. 

If you live under her roof, you need to also listen to their rules.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, tattoobunnie said:

I thought you were away at college?  And from your previous post, You were only 18 when you got together; your much older boyfriend is grooming you to accept an emotionally abusive situation.  Sorry, but send di*k pics to other women does not make him a good guy. 

If you live under her roof, you need to also listen to their rules.

No I'm not away from college I do it from home bc I can't stay on campus because of her. I have not stated that I was 18 in a previous post. You must be looking at someone elses maybe similar to this one.  I was not 18 when I got with my boyfriend. 

Edited by itsprettylove
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, itsprettylove said:

I was not 18 when I got with my boyfriend. 

  

Just now, itsprettylove said:

Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half

Just now, itsprettylove said:

I'm 19 now I'll be 20 in a few months.

Men who want to control others will date someone young for a reason.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you are not currently working I strongly advise you to get a job. And if you're only in college because your parents forced you to go, think about putting that on hold or go part time so you can get full time employment. Many, many places are hiring right now and they are paying decent wages. When you have enough saved up for a deposit on a small apartment then move out.

Your step mom isn't going to  change. So all you can do is remove yourself from the situation like your brother did 

Side note, can you stay with your brother temporarily?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you post this thread as well?:

 

No this is my thread you have. , the post that is here  that says itsprettylove is my sister.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OP, I moved out when I was 17 to go to university and I never lived with my parents again. There was too much to do. You say you're an adult so go out and start adulting. Don't participate in this back and forth with your foster mother.

I guarantee you your priorities will shift and so will your mindset and everything else you are thinking of that's important right now once you live on your own. I don't mean bunking with some guy either, boyfriend or not. Stand on your own two feet and provide for yourself. Start now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

×
×
  • Create New...