Is he at least interested in becoming a friend or am I delusional?

[canispock524]

 

Okay so there’s this guy at a cafe that I’m a regular customer for. He hangs out there when he’s not working.

There was a time a couple of months ago where I didn’t know he was sitting next to me. At this point I just thought he was cute but didn’t have a crush on him. On this night he eventually asked me “hey you go to [school name] too? I glanced at your laptop and noticed.” And I froze up in the moment (I’m always feeling insecure about SOMEthing), because in my head I told myself “omg it’s the cute worker” and all I could say was “oh, yeah.” Lol. No I didn’t think this alone meant he’s interested in me, but at least he tried to strike up a convo. 

Around a month ago I finally started making eye contact that lasted for more than 0.003 seconds. I told myself “ok I’ll just try to intentionally glance a few times to see if he’s at least interested in being friendly” and he would always give eye contact back. Any time he would go to my section of the cafe, which is usually quiet and empty or almost empty, he would look back at me before going somewhere else.

Then there were a couple of instances a few weeks ago where we seriously made eye contact like 40+ times, even when he wasn’t “in charge of my table” and thus didn’t need to see if I needed anything. And I would notice that he’d be really REALLY happy for no reason around me. 

And he’d also come up to me sometimes and awkwardly ask me about really mundane topics, like noticing I have an energy drink with me and then we would talk about that. 

He likes to tease me because I usually want a heater on and he always says that it’s not even cold, and I’ve been wearing a beanie/sweater/jeans combo for a couple months now. A couple of weeks ago, he said “I’m gonna sit next to you and you’ll see that I’m in shorts and a short sleeve shirt and with no heater!”

Yesterday, after not saying anything to my friend and I, and with both of us not giving each other eye contact the whole time, he approached us around closing and said “where were you guys on Wednesday? I was sitting here waiting for you guys to show up.” 

Today is a Wednesday so I made sure to go. However, I initially came alone, and didn’t realize until a few minutes sitting down that he was sitting near me with a couple of friends. At that point I was already trying to study on my laptop. 

I didn’t want to come across as a creep and I was feeling insecure so I didn’t make eye contact. Maybe I’m delusional but I noticed him looking over at me many times. I even heard his friend say “can you look over here and pay attention to me!” 

Then when he had to leave with his friends I noticed that he looked at me and then let out a sigh and left. 

Is there a chance that I’m delusional? Yeah. In fact obviously since there’s so many factors when it comes to attraction, obviously until a person asks you out, it’s more likely that you’re being delusional. 

But I do think that at the very least he wants to be my friend. I think I come across as uninviting, especially when I’m sitting alone and not looking around. 

We also know each others’ names but we’re not even on a first name basis yet. 

Does it sound like I’m delusional? I’d appreciate any insight/advice.

[Kwothe28]

49 minutes ago, canispock524 said:

Is there a chance that I’m delusional?

I wouldnt say that, there are some signs that he maybe likes you.

However, without anything tangable like asking for your contact or even asking for a date, he is just an acquaintance. Somebody who you see from time to time and exchange a word or two. Like, for example, worker at your favorite market where you buy groceries. You would have to be real about that.

[Wiseman2]

53 minutes ago, canispock524 said:

 a month ago I finally started making eye contact that lasted for more than 0.003 seconds. 

Is he a waiter there? Maybe he can't ask customers out.

See if you can connect on social media.

[Rose Mosse]

How old are you, OP? Does he go to the same school as you then? (Comment about your laptop)

He’s a random bored bloke and seems annoying especially if you’re trying to study. Are you shy because you feel intimidated by him and his friends? Say something if you want to be friendly. 

[smackie9]

Ya he seems to like you...you are being way too closed off. Eye contact is not enough you need to be bold and say hi to him, ask him how his day is, etc. Oh and get out of that sweater and wear something frilly/feminine...do your hair nice, makeup, etc. have to throw a bone or two if you want them to bite.

[greendots]

A guy that doesn't know that you're interested in him is eventually going to move on. So, a direct route, hint that you're single. If he's interested, he'll (find a way to) ask you out. Alternatively, a less direct route, talk to him when he's not working.

[dias]

49 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

have to throw a bone or two if you want them to bite.

😂😂🤣

[Andrina]

It takes guts to ask someone out. So giving a person who is interested a sign you would say yes if asked might spur him to do so. You know his name, so use it. A person likes hearing his name. If he comes near, touch his arm for emphasis, telling him you like his shirt. If he gets a haircut, tell him it looks good. Ask him what he's doing for fun on his next day off. That's the best conversation starter to steer it in the direction of suggesting you two do that fun thing together.

It's not creepy to have a crush on someone and to pay attention to them if you're getting good feedback, so get over that negative thought. If he just likes an ego boost and isn't into you, there'll be another cute guy who will be the lucky one who gets to date you.