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Sexual arousal from danger


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I was driving the other day and some kids were playing near the road (not close enough to be an issue but close enough to make me more alert) and it brought back an odd memory and I can't seem to make sense of some behavior I did as a child.  I thought maybe someone here could help me make sense of it.  

So when I was around 8-10 I used to have to wait for a friend parents to pick me and sometimes my sister up to take us to a club we attended with their kids.  We lived in the country and it was at night so very dark.  I think my sister had the idea that we should lie in the road and roll off when a car came.  So that what we did.  This is strange enough behavior looking back but I basically got off on doing it.  The closer the I let the car get to me the more I would get off, like orgasm like getting off.  Like I said, I was around 8 so I didn't fully understand sex but it gave me a feeling very similar to an orgasm.   On a few occasions I let the car get close enough that that had lights on me and were able to see me rolling away (I think I hid in the woods until they drive off).  I don't recall anymore how often I actually did this but more than one night and I was bolder and let the car get closer when my sister wasn't with me.  

A bit lesser in the actual danger department but a similar thing that happened around the same age.  The playground in elementary school was at the bottom of a hill and in the winter sometimes it would be slick and icy.  One time I was having trouble getting up the hill and crawling up with my crotch rubbing on the ground.  The teachers were yelling and threatening and it caused the same orgasm sensation.  The first time was incidental but I made it happen other times..the more they would yell the more the orgasm sensation.  

What do you think caused this behavior?  It seems so strange now to think about.  

 

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Erotic impulses can be confusing especially at a very young age. Your sexuality now is much more evolved than it was then. So it is much more relevant what arouses you at your current age.

And even if you feel danger still arouses you it should be obvious that a cheap sexual thrill isn't worth putting your life into any actual danger. Not everything that feels good is good for you. 

Of course you can try to explore these impulses in a safe way by using your imagination/fantasising/engaging in role play/BDSM etc. But the danger is that will make you want the real thing. So maybe best left alone.

 

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Yoda,

 

Your post struck me because I feel a similar way. I won’t go into it but an experience when I was young I now think has caused me to gain a niche little fetish. 
 

I guess it depends how dominant that urge and thrill is. People are into all sorts. I’ve never acted on mine (it’s nothing insane I promise!) and in reality I feel no urge to indulge or act anything out but it is there. Some psychologists think so much of our sexual make-up, likes and dislikes, are cemented in childhood. 
 

If it becomes part of your daily sex life or your main fantasy I guess you have a strong fetish there. If it’s just something you realise is a sexual quirk for you (like myself) then, you don’t “need” it to have a normal and healthy sex life then that’s just that. If you did want to explore as others have said there are consensual private members clubs for fetish play. It’s a very private thing, one of the last taboos. When you meet someone they aren’t normally going to come out and tell you their weirdest quirk or most kinky fantasy. 
 

If this is something that bothers you I guess you could talk to a sex therapist but it sounds as if you have just realised you have a sexual quirk. Nothing wrong with that as long as it isn’t harming yourself or others.

 

x

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