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My friend is really mad at me and don’t want to talk


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Since more than 1 week, my friend is really mad at me and don’t want to talk to me for now. I did a lot of wrong thing, I was too attached to her….I said things about other people that I shouldn’t tell, my behavior towards her but also towards my other friends chocked her. I am not a good person…
 

she did a lot of things for me…and I didn’t know how to say her thank you. I love her a lot and she feels like I love her TOO much. It’s really recent, I wrote a lot of letter drafts that I will give her in a future but I don’t know when. It’s now too recent to give her and come to talk to her. I feel so miserable and guilty, because it’s my fault. I hate my uncontrollable feelings and words ruining everything like it often did. I feel bad because I hurt her and the others and I maybe lost one of my dearest friend. 
 

we spent good moments together….Why should I do? I feel so bad…see her distant and angry makes me sad…and mad at me. 

should I wait to ask her to maybe chat but out of school, just the two of us? How much time it will takes for her to calm down…She doesn’t hate me actually, she is just mad and angry…. I feel like she is hesitant talking to me sometimes, she stares at me or walk by me when she thinks I don’t see her and then leave after hesitated a moment. Maybe she is sad and lost too? Maybe she feels like she was too rude…I don’t know…

i know she loves me, or used to..she talked to me like a sister…I ruined everything…I try to becoming a better person now…but it’s hard. 

any advices ?

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Apologize. Whether over message or better in person. The rest is up to her, if she accepts apology or not. So accept her answer even if its negative and leave it alone if she doesnt want to hang with you anymore. Its good that you see how your behavior was bad and that you are willing to work on it. Just watch out not to make the same mistakes again.

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38 minutes ago, Oc_12 said:

I will give her in a future but I don’t know when.

Do you have a crush on her? Let the dust settle and let her cool off. Reflect on why t you did all this and hurt her. Let her come to you when she is ready.

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7 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Apologize. Whether over message or better in person. The rest is up to her, if she accepts apology or not. So accept her answer even if its negative and leave it alone if she doesnt want to hang with you anymore. Its good that you see how your behavior was bad and that you are willing to work on it. Just watch out not to make the same mistakes again.

Thank you, I just forgot to say that she said she can’t accept my apologies for the moment, I apologized by texting and it was too fast…so maybe once I could apologize to her face to face 

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1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you have a crush on her? Let the dust settle and let her cool off. Reflect on why t you did all this and hurt her. Let her come to you when she is ready.

No, I don’t have any crush on her, she is just the friend that I love the most 

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Do your own thing and school. No more letters, no texting or anything untoward, inappropriate or strange. you have tried to apologize so let it be.

She’s angry because you crossed boundaries and didn’t respect her or her wishes. She has to feel like you are no longer a threat and seeking to fulfill your own self interests. 

Hang out with other friends and say hi or hello if you run into her. Let go of this and if she approaches you in the future be open and less dishonest. Avoid gossiping about people. 

 

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On 1/30/2022 at 10:54 AM, Rose Mosse said:

Do your own thing and school. No more letters, no texting or anything untoward, inappropriate or strange. you have tried to apologize so let it be.

She’s angry because you crossed boundaries and didn’t respect her or her wishes. She has to feel like you are no longer a threat and seeking to fulfill your own self interests. 

Hang out with other friends and say hi or hello if you run into her. Let go of this and if she approaches you in the future be open and less dishonest. Avoid gossiping about people. 

 

I agree with Rose's advice. 

Also, you're not a bad person. You made bad decisions. There's a difference.

Learn from your mistakes.

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32 minutes ago, Oc_12 said:

Yes 😞 I often smother people that I love 

Ok. Talk to your parents about your problems. Especially how to deal with loneliness, boredom and friendship. If you are having trouble at home talk to a trusted adult or teacher. Leave her alone. If you have a crush on her, confide in an adult about that.

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On 2/1/2022 at 7:42 AM, Oc_12 said:

Yes 😞 I often smother people that I love 

You're self aware, and that's a start. Needy people tend to drive away others by trying to hold on too tight. They act out in ways that try to divide friends from others, which usually boomerangs back to harm the very relationship they don't want to lose.

We nurture relationships by respecting boundaries and honoring another's desire to cultivate different kinds and degrees of friendships that meet different needs. That's part of maturity--accepting that we can no longer rely on one other person to be our 'everything'.

Find things you share in common with people and allow those to connect you loosely and respectfully as acquaintances. Over time some of these may evolve into closer friendships, but those need to be earned, not manipulated.

Head high, keep learning and growing. You'll thank yourself later for the pain you're willing to accept today as long as you use it constructively.

 

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