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She lead me on?


Primefire72
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It all started 2 months ago. I met this girl (18), me (18), at my high school and we introduced ourselves. In that week, she made the first step by texting me on IG. From that day, we talked daily, for hours, about everything and all was perfect.

Before Christmas, after 3 weeks of speaking, she told me that it would be nice to have a meeting, so I asked her out and she accepted, but after Christmas, because she is not in town. After the New Year, she totally changed, I really don't know what happened, but she started to be distant, cold, send dry texts and she left me on delivery for hours. I was kinda ok with that, I thought that maybe she has a bad time, so I tried to be there, everytime, asking if anything happened, if she's ok. She said that she is ok and changed the subject, every single time. . The worst part wasn't that, the thing is that from the gn and gm texts, flirt to nothing, not even to: How are you, or how was your day too?

One time, she said, out of nowhere: I miss my ex. Was a common subject, it's ok, just to know about your past relationships. I was ok, the first time, but she said this about 3 times in 1 day and another thing that she said was: I can't wait to go outside to find a boyfriend. This thing kinda destroyed me.

Then, I decided to take the step, I asked her: Hey, how about that meeting we established before Christmas? She left me on seen. For 3 days. I was destroyed, like the person I really like to talk with, left me on seen for 3 days and came back after those with a meme and I started to be cold and she asked why am I mad. Really? Why? You treated me like nothing. She tried to blame me, she did that because she didn't know what to say, because in the last time I avoid her, that I am annoying and insistent. Insistent? We talked for 2 months and I just asked you what about the meeting we both decided to go, we even chose the location. How do I avoid you? If I ask you daily how you are, if you are fine, how was your day, did you eat, and you don't even text: How are you? If you don't want me in your life, why you are the one who textes me first, every day?

The thing that ended all for me, was her saying: I don't want to fight anymore, I want us to be friends. I asked: What were we? and she said partial friends. I don't even know what that means.

Edited by Primefire72
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She either met somebody over holidays or got back with ex. You were just somebody to occupy her time in between that. I am sorry it happened, good for you for ending all contacts with somebody like that. Its never good idea to be "the replacement". Always aim for that "first team spot" and dont wait on the bench for nobody.

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2 hours ago, Primefire72 said:

she said, out of nowhere: I miss my ex. she said this about 3 times in 1 day and another thing that she said was: I can't wait to go outside to find a boyfriend. 

she asked why am I mad.

She's on off with her ex trying to date others and generally confused and trouble you don't need.

 Move your focus to other girls. She's too flakey right now.

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Just because a girl talks to you doesn't mean she's romantically interested in you. Girls can be emotional succubi, leaving guys confused thinking they are interested. She is missing her ex, the holidays made it worse, possible she's trying to get back with him or he is already dating someone else and she's destroyed. Her self esteem is pretty low, and well she was leaning on you, which a lot of people would do in that situation. She's not in the right head space. Her rejecting you even better because you would have ended up being a rebound or her cuddle buddy which is the kiss of death. 

You did the right thing by cutting her off. You want a GF not a friend, which is fair. It's just one of those life's lessons. Learn grow go forward wiser. 

Edited by smackie9
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Not that it would've worked with her, since you two go together like oil and water, but you might want to be a little more proactive and have more confidence in acting on it when you're into someone. She was the one to add you on social media first. She asked for the first meet up. Why didn't you ask to meet a week or two after those hours long talks went well?

When I was in junior college, I know I was downright frustrated with two different guys I was initially interested in, but they didn't really know how to get things going for the normal steps it takes to get into a regular dating routine. Everything fell apart.

Anyway, the good thing is, this is the time in your life, during high school and college, you'll be meeting the largest pool of singles in your age group than in any other time of your life. NEXT!

P.S. Think about the psychology of words. She upset you with speaking of finding a bf. She did not "destroy" you. Don't feed yourself sabotaging messages. This was a blip of 60 days in your life.

 

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Thank you all for your words. It really helped me realize that is something normal and yes, I am still young, better days are coming. @Kwothe28, Wiseman2, Smackie9, thank you for the support and approving that I made the right thing by ending up with her. Wish you the best guys! Andrina, Thanks, you are right, I was feeding myself sabotaging messages, I am still young, I will meet another people, rn I hope she is ok with the decisions she made. Thank you all again, wish you the best!

Edited by Primefire72
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4 minutes ago, Andrina said:

Not that it would've worked with her, since you two go together like oil and water, but you might want to be a little more proactive and have more confidence in acting on it when you're into someone. She was the one to add you on social media first. She asked for the first meet up. Why didn't you ask to meet a week or two after those hours long talks went well?

When I was in junior college, I know I was downright frustrated with two different guys I was initially interested in, but they didn't really know how to get things going for the normal steps it takes to get into a regular dating routine. Everything fell apart.

Anyway, the good thing is, this is the time in your life, during high school and college, you'll be meeting the largest pool of singles in your age group than in any other time of your life. NEXT!

P.S. Think about the psychology of words. She upset you with speaking of finding a bf. She did not "destroy" you. Don't feed yourself sabotaging messages. This was a blip of 60 days in your life.

 

We used to see each other daily at school and I thought that it's not the right time to ask her out yet. She made the step, by saying it will be nice to go outside and then I asked her, I didn't want to seem insistent and yes, she accepted, but after the holidays. But after the holidays, she said to a friend of mine that I am annoying and insistent with that meeting. I don't think that I am insistent by asking one time: What about that meeting?

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She's a teenager. She's just trying to figure herself out.

Although, that kind of behavior isn't limited to teens! My brother has been on and off with his wife. Whenever they're "off" he contacts a woman he was seeing before he and his wife reconciled. He does this every time. I want to tell this woman to tell my brother to knock it off but I guess she's too hung up on him. And they are in their mid 50s!

But yes, you are young and have the world before you. It's an exciting time. Don't waste it bumming out over ONE teenage girl.

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You guys talked and she misses her ex. I guess there is nothing left for you in this so called "relationship". Don't drag it further the more you do the more you get hurt. You are trying to help her but she isnt looking. Simply end it and move on.  

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She lead me on?

Naaah, careful how you frame things. It's never beneficial to position yourself as harmed or victimized just because something doesn't work out.

You were both talking to learn about one another. It didn't go anywhere. She got sidetracked by an ex or a desire for some kind of chemistry she didn't have with you. You had already kind of friend-zoned yourself by never stepping up to ask her to meet any sooner. 

Could she have handled this better? Sure, but you're not exactly at the mercy of some flake, so don't talk yourself into being 'devastated' by someone who doesn't 'have to' matter all that much. YOU have the control to make a better choice about that.

Head high, we all learn by living.

 

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