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Feel guilty cancelling the date


mical
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I cancelled a date I was supposed to have this weekend and feel guilty and if it was the right thing to do?

So it started out I was actually approached from this girl who seemed pretty nice, primary school teacher, seemed funny etc etc, and asked me to go make a trip to her city, so I suggested this Saturday and she suggested Friday and spend the weekend together and said “uděláme si to intenzivní” which means something along he lines of - “we will do it intensely” which I’m assuming meant showing me lots around the city? 🤷‍♂️ 

Anyways so last week I arranged a date since she asked when I’d visit her. And I even was going to go in a coffee shop this Friday to “work from home” and attend this meeting before hurrying to catch a train to Prague and HOPE the wifi worked decent to work and then arrive late afternoon. I’d book myself couple nights at hotel, and when we would meet up I’d take her out and have a great time etc. Plus I love the city.

but then… things seemed to change over the past week.

I got a booster shot and had a fever for a few days, and when I said I had fever and asked a question she would leave on read and not answer for like 5-8 hours. 

and do this repeatedly…

over multiple days…

id ask a simple question, she’d be at home and just ignore / leave on read and not reply for 3-6 hours…

which to be honest I thought was a bit rude / strange since she wasn’t busy and was just watching tv (plus I was very sick with a fever) yet would still write me good morning? 

so I never said anything about it and would never do so, but after the 5th time or so I just though hmm 🤔 

Why would I go to all the trouble of “working from home” in a coffee shop, travel many hours on train, book few nights in a hotel for myself and take  someone on a date(s) that was doing the above things I just mentioned?

anyways so I cancelled the date. Did I do the right thing? I feel a bit guilty..

Edited by mical
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All that for a first date?

Nope, no way. Too much.

Or let's say you did go. How would you have arranged future dates? Would they all have had to involve traveling? If so, this was not sustainable.

BTW, how did you meet this woman?

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Thank you.

I was planning to move there in the next months, work mostly from home and every once and a while just make trips to my main office for work. I used to live there and have some friends there and met this person from an acquaintance and she asked if I have WhatsApp etc etc 

The cost of living is very affordable. Actually just the average salary of the country I’m now in (or any western EU country pretty much) would make double than a heart surgeon there… kinda crazy…

Edited by mical
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I dunno what did you hope to do. Was it just relationship or just one time thing? She seem to be interested in the other. If you were aftering that, eh, you could have maybe go. 

But if you felt its too much hussle, its OK. If she would be the main reason of you going there, maybe better this way. If you were going for work and seeing her is secondary, that would be OK. Like this, seems too much hussle for something that may or may not happen at all.

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25 minutes ago, mical said:

Thank you.

I was planning to move there in the next months, work mostly from home and every once and a while just make trips to my main office for work. I used to live there and have some friends there and met this person from an acquaintance and she asked if I have WhatsApp etc etc 

The cost of living is very affordable. Actually just the average salary of the country I’m now in (or any western EU country pretty much) would make double than a heart surgeon there… kinda crazy…

Then I would suggest having your first date with her after you move. Never mind all this trying to work from a cafe, traveling, staying in a hotel hassle. 

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Yeah it’s a hassle for sure especially for someone that doesn’t seem to have proper communication etiquette. Train is only about 20 euros, but still, too much hassle indeed.

Edited by mical
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I'm with you. Someone who's not interested enough to stay in touch once I'm feeling lousy would strike me as too self involved, and certainly not someone I'd go out of my way to see.

If your paths ever cross once you move, you might grab a drink with her to reassess or confirm, but I think you picked up the right vibe about this person.

Head high, and I hope you feel better soon.

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