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Please offer some advice-I'm desperately in love

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I have been quietly following your forum and I myself am experiencing a miniature version of want your going through. I am disappointed with the fact that you would let something that makes you so obviously happy slip away. Ultimately, I think the biggest fault in your final decision-making was how you used your kids as an excuse to continue being unhappy with your husband. Tell me what good you do them by maintaining an unhappy relationship and false with their father. Children don't listen to their parents, they sense them, remember they are your children, made of both of you, so you can't deny that you are very connected on a different level. Sure you can paint on a smile and attempt to "keep it up" until they are older, but more likely then not they will be able to see right through you. You deserve to be happy and I am sure that your children won't be happy knowing that you sacrificed your happiness for them to have a "normal" family. My parents divorced when I was growing up, I have great relationships with both parents and am happier they did sooner rather than later. Now some of friends on the other hand whose parents are divorcing when they are in their 20's are distraught. I would rethink your choice, if she is igniting feelings within you that your husband is no longer… was is there really to think about? And by the way, I read last month in the American Academy of Pediatrics Journal, that the gene believed to be linked to homosexuality is hereditary, so there is a chance that one of your kids could be BI or homosexual, so ask yourself this if you aren't honest to them, what makes you think they might open up to you about this topic in the future if it is the case. Or would you ever want one of your children feeling the frustration you are right now? Good Luck

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  • 1 month later...
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It's obvious that both of your marriages were unhappy or you wouldn't have fallen in love with each other. Children are aware of their parents emotions. Sometimes they even imitate them. thereforeeee they probably realised their mothers' were unhappy at first until their relationship developed. How old are the children? If they're too young to understand they will do so when they're older!


If you remain with your husbands' you are both going to be unhappy. The atmosphere in your homes is going to be stressed. The children will feel the stress and it will affect them at home and at school, etc. The husbands' will never allow you both to forget what you did (especially if they've been made to look like fools in front of their friends, etc.), and they will continue to blame you throughout your lives!


You have the financial security needed so that's not a problem!


We are only given one chance at life. Why waste it!

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  • 4 weeks later...

I need your insight:


What would you have done differently to change the outcome, if anything? Do you think you can live with your husband forever and never be with another woman again? Does your ex-lover feel happy that she chose to be with her husband? How did they find out, anyway... did you guys consider keeping it a secret?


Thanks in advance for your openness and honesty. I am wondering if I should run far away from my friend and not give her the opportunity to leave her husband because of me. My conscience would kill me if she left him for me... even though I know we would be very happy together.





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My advice to you is to STOP!!! Before you have to endure unrecoverable heartbreak. STOP why you can still enjoy your friendship. The only reason why her husband is displaying those traits is because he is hurt!!!! She has not left him......so there still is a draw between her and her husband. If you have left your husband now is the time to understand your self. It's hard to do that with someone else there. Deal with those marriage years Because its going to take time to get over. You have an opportunity to guide your life like you see fit and the only consideration of your son. Living on your own and not just jumping into an implusive relationship will help you to "FIND YOUR TRUE SELF"

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  • 2 weeks later...

Who's been making you so bitter......maybe the only thing she did wrong was to love too much. Maybe her husband swore to take away her kids for good or something like that...Maybe now she's so screwed over she can't sleep without dreaming about.......Maybe she's so in tune with you she can feel your ViBe....I totally sympathize with her-I read her posts-she was in love with you and now doubt still is...Maybe she's only trying to save herself and you from a life of pain.......

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Start by FREEZING EVERY EMOTION and just focus on your kids (and baby). Pyschologically it is not healthy-emotions are meant to be expressed-but neither is this kind of relationship. Her husband probably wants her gone every second of every day and makes her life HELL-but maybe it will get better. She more than likely wishes she could have said and done a lot more than she did when this ended......

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