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Ex wants to take things slow but I am afraid I will f*** up


Confusedinlovenow
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Hello I need opinions on my situation or I will start being anxious again.

Me and my boyfriend were together for over 1,5 years, and I was planning to move abroad to my home country next year. He broke up with me around 1,5 months ago because he didnt want neither of us get more hurt by staying longer together and then me leaving in the end. We stayed in contact and still met very often.

A bit later on I got the courage to say I want to stay in the country and that I made a mistake by leaving, I told him about my decision about staying and he was not happy about it and just very confused. I was very desperate and pushy towards him and he got scared really. Later I found out he was seeing and talking to other girls while we were still meeting up, even though we were not together. I got really mad and things led to him blocking me everywhere and he said he doesnt want anything to do with me.

I believe the reason he was upset to me as well, was because I i saidI want to stay is that he already in his mind broke up with me months ago knowning that I would be leaving. And it took me this long to realize that I need to want to stay in the country, I was in a crisis. It took him a long time to process in his mind that I am leaving and it was hard for him to actually break up with me and it took 4 months for him to do it.

I stopped contact and I went on a vacation for 2 weeks and he contacted me again and apologized and saying he wants to talk again when I come back and to take things slow but not to have any high expectations. We agreed to stay exclusive and not to see other people.

He came to pick me from the airport and we talked a bit and slept together, the next day we talked more and same thing happened. He texts me everyday and we met 2 times more last week. Each time we talked a bit about what happened and what we both expect, he says he cant make a decision yet because doesnt want us to break up like last time. He was upset and angry that we "argued" again about whats happening because I was maybe expecting too much. He said he is afraid if we move on too quick we will end up arguing again because he still loves and cares for me, but at the same time he thinks its hard to get back how we used to be.

He is texting me every day to say good morning and helping me with the process of getting an apartment. Also he is planning a vacation for us together. Everything sounds like something a couple would do?

However I see can tell the way he is texting his emotional barrier is still up and I can feel how reserved he is, I am too afraid to ask him to hang out I dont want to see too clingy. He is very busy with his hobby and we can only see each other on the weekends really. He always used told me "If i wouldnt love you I wouldn't be spending all this time with you and stay all week at your place."  Now there just isnt really time for me and Im afraid there wont be, am I maybe expecting too much at this point. He is making initiatives all the time and to meet up this weekend, but at the same time it was nothing like we used to be.

I feel sick of being this anxious and cant focus normally in my life, I would like to be as "chill" as he is about this. Its been a rollercoaster between us, and now its been around 1 month since I told him I will stay and would like to try again.

I am afraid we wont be able to proceed without relationship if we wont see each other frequently, maybe I am just being very un patient, but its been a long emotional road to this point.

How long should I give him time to figure out if we should be officially together?
Should I play hard to get and let him chase me to get the excitement back again?

Or should I just be myself and plan things together, asking him out?

Anyone has any idea what I should do, please share your experiences.

Edited by ConfusedAnxious
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How often did you see each other and how balanced was the leg work of organising time together before you broke up? 
 

For no reason what so ever other than 3 is a good number I think you should give it a 3 month trial. Also, you shouldn’t feel afraid to reach out to him. Do you think he’s going to run away? This is an important test for him to pass and you’re not giving it to him. (If you reach out and he runs away there was no future here anyway and you have saved yourself some time and anxiety). 
 

What happens if you match his level of engagement? 

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Did you or will you move back to your home country? That's an excellent reason to end things.

Right now you're just hooking up. That's ok because you're not compatible and you're all over the place about your home country etc.

This will not turn back into a relationship. You started the drama with talking about moving home.

He enjoys his freedom and other women now. So stop hooking up.

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@1a1a He used to stay the nights at my place during the week 1-3nights and then we spent the weekend together. So we used to see each other very often and it was working very well.
Now he started his new hobby around the time I told him im thinking about moving back, so 4 months ago. It takes him a lot of time 4-5 times a week now but he really enjoys it now and I am happy for that.

I dont mind seeing only in the weekends if I know we are a couple, but now all this uncertainty from his side makes me mad.. I am willing to give him time but I am just so afraid what will happen, if one day he just tells me this isnt going to work. I know he still loves and cares for me but it hurts to know things arent like they used to be.

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@Wiseman2 Hey! I will not move back, Ive been thinking about it a long time and I made some wrong decision in the past telling him, I was not 100% sure, but at that time I thought it would be the best thing to do.

We had already plans together about moving together and getting a place, or he had all these plans and the fact that I told him I want to leave broke his heart. I want to just reassure him I was going through some rough times that time and I want to stay and ideally stay with him if this works.

We agreed that we will stay exclusive and not see other people while we figure things out, I just hope he could see how serious I am about him and that I am willing to do the work to make this work if he is as well. He said he always had doubts about me leaving and will have them, but I want to make sure we can come up with a plan in case something like me needing to move would happen, we could go together for example.

He was considering moving with me as well abroad, but then he thought it was not the right time in his life to do it, so he was willing to consider that which tells alot how much he wanted to be with me.

Now its my time to show that he can trust me, and we shouldve just communicated better since the beginning how this can be tackled.. I was too quick to make decisions and this is where we ended up!

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44 minutes ago, ConfusedAnxious said:

@Wiseman2 . He said he always had doubts about me leaving and will have them, but I want to make sure we can come up with a plan in case something like me needing to move would happen.

You're too high risk to date with one foot always out the door.

He doesn't want to reconcile,he wants freedom as well as regular sex. 

Are you in the country illegally? What do you mean by " in case you need to leave"

No he's not going to give up everything to move with you.

You're not committed if you are perpetually talking about moving home.

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I think you should give him twice the space he seems to need instead of pushing and asking for reassurance. It's not his "emotional barrier" that is up -it's far simpler.  People move towards pleasure and away from pain -he's hesitant to go all in with you because of what happened in the recent past.  Like a toddler who doesn't touch the hot stove again.  

When I got back together with my ex fiancee -years after we broke up -we were then going to be long distance and I'd have to relocate eventually to be with him.  It was a crucial part of our decision to be together.  If I'd gone back on the promise it would have shaken us to the very core -just like if he'd told me "you know what I don't want to have a child after all" - then a month later said "k, I do now!"

Let him be.  Twice the space - yes if you want him you have to live with the uncertainty.  You had a huge role in creating it.  Perhaps give yourself a deadline - a couple of months - where you let him come to you and you two don't date others and then see where you are - maybe that will give you more internal certainty.  

If it's not worth waiting for, then end things now.  I'm sorry you're in a stressful situation.  Good luck.

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6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You're too high risk to date with one foot always out the door.

He doesn't want to reconcile,he wants freedom as well as regular sex. 

Are you in the country illegally? What do you mean by " in case you need to leave"

No he's not going to give up everything to move with you.

You're not committed if you are perpetually talking about moving home.

The reason why I wanted to move is that I felt unhappy in the country I am staying, I started feeling homesick and had some depression back then for many reasons. I am staying here for work for the past 3,5 years now and I want to pursue my career now.

And we always talked about the chance of going abroad together if we get bored here or want something new, it was always in the air.
But it wasnt the best time financially to do it now, i am 23 and he is 25 so we are still young and would be something for the future maybe. He wants to buy his own place now but he needs to save more money and our plan initially was to move in together, but now I think he feels so uncertain of me that I will just drop everything and go. 

I dont know what can I do to reassure him that I am here to stay and then whatever happens we will do it together. These are his words: "We start seeing each other and then see where things will go, things will fall into place, but now I cant make any promise to get back together"

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26 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I think you should give him twice the space he seems to need instead of pushing and asking for reassurance. It's not his "emotional barrier" that is up -it's far simpler.  People move towards pleasure and away from pain -he's hesitant to go all in with you because of what happened in the recent past.  Like a toddler who doesn't touch the hot stove again.  

When I got back together with my ex fiancee -years after we broke up -we were then going to be long distance and I'd have to relocate eventually to be with him.  It was a crucial part of our decision to be together.  If I'd gone back on the promise it would have shaken us to the very core -just like if he'd told me "you know what I don't want to have a child after all" - then a month later said "k, I do now!"

Let him be.  Twice the space - yes if you want him you have to live with the uncertainty.  You had a huge role in creating it.  Perhaps give yourself a deadline - a couple of months - where you let him come to you and you two don't date others and then see where you are - maybe that will give you more internal certainty.  

If it's not worth waiting for, then end things now.  I'm sorry you're in a stressful situation.  Good luck.

Hey!

Oh I think you are right, he wants to maybe test the waters now and see if we will be happy together again, we had some very bad times in the previous 4 months because we knew what was coming- so me moving away and he told his feelings about me changed because he knew we wouldnt be forever together.

And yes we agreed to stay exclusive, start hanging our and doing things together but he wants to do things slow, he is afraid of things getting bad again I think. He also said to me "I feel still kind of responsible for you", he was always there for me and helping me out with this in a foreign country for me. He felt that everything he did for me was for nothing, and it hurt him alot. Even though he said he doesnt regret anything we had together and what we experienced together.

I am just not sure what is enough space, does it maybe annoy him if I ask him to come over or do things, or should I just wait for him to always plan things. I am afraid he will tell me no or that he will start backing away because im "trying too much". Its confusing because he is planning a holiday in February for us together as well, but I am still feeling so anxious even asking him to go out hahah

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2 hours ago, ConfusedAnxious said:

we always talked about the chance of going abroad together if we get bored here or want something new, it was always in the air. but now I think he feels so uncertain of me that I will just drop everything and go. 

I dont know what can I do to reassure him that I am here to stay 

You are simply too all over the place with 'your move back home' talk. He wants someone reliable to settle down with buy a place etc. You are presenting mixed messages and simply not committed. End it and move back home.

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OP, you wanted to move back home because you don't like where you live, you were depressed, unhappy, and homesick. So what changed?

It seems that the only reason you suddenly decided to stay put is because he dumped you. Now you are in an anxious crisis mode trying to hang on to him for dear life and....you are even more miserable, anxious, etc. So let's say this works out and you are back together - you do realize that you will be back to where you started - not happy with where you live, depressed, miserable and homesick.

Let this guy go. He is not your one. Go back home and sort yourself out. You'll meet someone who is more compatible with you soon enough.

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1 hour ago, DancingFool said:

OP, you wanted to move back home because you don't like where you live, you were depressed, unhappy, and homesick. So what changed?

It seems that the only reason you suddenly decided to stay put is because he dumped you. Now you are in an anxious crisis mode trying to hang on to him for dear life and....you are even more miserable, anxious, etc. So let's say this works out and you are back together - you do realize that you will be back to where you started - not happy with where you live, depressed, miserable and homesick.

Let this guy go. He is not your one. Go back home and sort yourself out. You'll meet someone who is more compatible with you soon enough.

 

Hey i cant login to my account for some reason its me here.

The reason why I even wanted to move in the first place was that I went on a vacation with him to my country and it was amazing, but it was a vacation and i had no responsibilities. After that i became emotional and homesick, but it was not thinking with logic.

Reason why i was unhappy was my mental health, my job was bad, a lot of my friends left, i didnt speak the language well.

But then after i told i want to leave things started to change maybe because i felt somewhat free to do what i really want now that was planking to leave?? 

I got a promotion, i made new friends, i started to like his friends a lot which helped me to learn the language better, i was planning to get a vehichle so i dont need to depend on him that much (i bought it now). I was still with him at that point even thougj he knew i was leaving, i felt good in my new situation and i started to doubt.

Until he broke up with me my head just clicked- I realized he is the love of my life why am i leaving if everything is okay here and im happy and i can pursue my career.

Aftet the break up i went home for the 2 week vacation during which he contactef me. Being home made me realize i dont opportunities like I have here, and even whats better the love of my life is there.

I think after i lost him it made me realize a lot of things, and made me even more sure. I am 23 and i have no rush i can live my life comfortable here

 

sorry it was a bit long but maybe this cleared my head a lot as well now, am i honestly just crazy or should I follow my heart?  

 

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This is not about "follow your heart" - read what you wrote carefully.  You made a promise to him -a really important one -that you broke.  Yes, people get homesick, have mental health issues, get jitters about whether they are in the right relationship - but bottom line is you prioritized these things over your promise to him.  And I get that - health should come first.  But then you can't expect him to welcome you back with open arms because your light switch flipped to "yes!!! he is the one!!!"  -that's self-absorbed on your part. He was the victim of you changing your mind, pulling the rug out from under him.  

Part of being someone's partner is thinking with logic and thinking of the other person before acting impulsively or in response to rushes of emotion.  Here's a little story -I was in grad school with a woman in her late 20s.  She had a gorgeous boyfriend - he proposed, she accepted. One day they had some sort of argument -and she in anger basically flung the ring back at him.  Then she wanted it back.  She was sorry.  Nope, he said.  My closest friend in grad school was engaged to a woman.  Both in their mid 20s.  Wedding all planned when she got cold feet.  They ended things. She asked him for 6 months to think things over, have some space.  Nope he said.  Are either of these guys "wrong" -no -and not right either - it's just that if you impulsively pull a dealbreaker move sometimes you can undo the damage, depending. Sometimes you can't.  

Yes, you are 23.  23 is an adult.  Adults can make and keep promises.  Your age has nothing to do with whether you're ready for marriage.  One of my nieces will be 26 soon, married 8 years or so, three kids.  I was engaged at 23 to Mr. Right on Paper and realized he was wrong.  But not because of my age.  I wouldn't have been ready for him at any time. 

My mom and best high school friend married at 21  - mom was married 60 years or so best friend about 35 years now.  IN fact my best friend had a "moment" right before she got engaged when she wondered if a family friend was a better match for her.  Her boyfriend gave her the weekend to think about it.  She came to her senses.  He took her back.  But he didn't have to.

Don't follow your heart -follow your sense of values, morals, ethics and keep your promises if at all possible and if you can't -let him go.  

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I see. So that's good that you got back on track and things are good for you here now. I would be sure to focus on that for the time being - your job, your friends, continuing to build that happy life here for yourself.

As for him and your relationship, this might be a good time for you to step back a little and think things through. Maybe avoid calling him the love of your life. Once you break up, things cannot just go back to how they were and maybe they shouldn't. For example, if you two were spending so much time together that it didn't leave time for other things like friends, hobbies, etc. then it wasn't a good thing. So maybe you and him need to find a new and better balance about that.

Rather than getting lost on the frenzy of trying to get him back....ask yourself if you really should and if so, on what terms. What does a healthy relationship look like to you? What does it look like to him? Does your vision and his match up? These are actually hard questions to answer because it's easy to focus on surface stuff and ignore deeper potential problems. It's also easy to fixate on just wanting it back to how it was, but life just doesn't work that way. 

Realize that since you were leaving, he rightfully checked out of the relationship. He can't just flip a switch and act like nothing has happened just because you've changed your mind into staying. So be patient but with a time limit. If in 3-4 months you are still stuck in limbo where things are not moving forward, time to walk away for good. It wasn't meant to be.

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4 hours ago, Batya33 said:

This is not about "follow your heart" - read what you wrote carefully.  You made a promise to him -a really important one -that you broke.  Yes, people get homesick, have mental health issues, get jitters about whether they are in the right relationship - but bottom line is you prioritized these things over your promise to him.  And I get that - health should come first.  But then you can't expect him to welcome you back with open arms because your light switch flipped to "yes!!! he is the one!!!"  -that's self-absorbed on your part. He was the victim of you changing your mind, pulling the rug out from under him.  

Part of being someone's partner is thinking with logic and thinking of the other person before acting impulsively or in response to rushes of emotion.  Here's a little story -I was in grad school with a woman in her late 20s.  She had a gorgeous boyfriend - he proposed, she accepted. One day they had some sort of argument -and she in anger basically flung the ring back at him.  Then she wanted it back.  She was sorry.  Nope, he said.  My closest friend in grad school was engaged to a woman.  Both in their mid 20s.  Wedding all planned when she got cold feet.  They ended things. She asked him for 6 months to think things over, have some space.  Nope he said.  Are either of these guys "wrong" -no -and not right either - it's just that if you impulsively pull a dealbreaker move sometimes you can undo the damage, depending. Sometimes you can't.  

Yes, you are 23.  23 is an adult.  Adults can make and keep promises.  Your age has nothing to do with whether you're ready for marriage.  One of my nieces will be 26 soon, married 8 years or so, three kids.  I was engaged at 23 to Mr. Right on Paper and realized he was wrong.  But not because of my age.  I wouldn't have been ready for him at any time. 

My mom and best high school friend married at 21  - mom was married 60 years or so best friend about 35 years now.  IN fact my best friend had a "moment" right before she got engaged when she wondered if a family friend was a better match for her.  Her boyfriend gave her the weekend to think about it.  She came to her senses.  He took her back.  But he didn't have to.

Don't follow your heart -follow your sense of values, morals, ethics and keep your promises if at all possible and if you can't -let him go.  

Hey,

I know the pain he has been through because of me and im not sure if this can be left in the past, thats why I am so unsure why is he willing to even try again, does he really love me that much.

However i dont blame myself for trying to figure out my life and unfortunately this was the outcome of my decision. People make mistakes and this was one of them, I am willing to give him time but i dont know how I should try overcome my anxiety. He still texts me everyday and wants to know how I am, i am meeting him this weekend for sure. I do wish to see him more often though, maybe he needs his space

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4 hours ago, DancingFool said:

I see. So that's good that you got back on track and things are good for you here now. I would be sure to focus on that for the time being - your job, your friends, continuing to build that happy life here for yourself.

As for him and your relationship, this might be a good time for you to step back a little and think things through. Maybe avoid calling him the love of your life. Once you break up, things cannot just go back to how they were and maybe they shouldn't. For example, if you two were spending so much time together that it didn't leave time for other things like friends, hobbies, etc. then it wasn't a good thing. So maybe you and him need to find a new and better balance about that.

Rather than getting lost on the frenzy of trying to get him back....ask yourself if you really should and if so, on what terms. What does a healthy relationship look like to you? What does it look like to him? Does your vision and his match up? These are actually hard questions to answer because it's easy to focus on surface stuff and ignore deeper potential problems. It's also easy to fixate on just wanting it back to how it was, but life just doesn't work that way. 

Realize that since you were leaving, he rightfully checked out of the relationship. He can't just flip a switch and act like nothing has happened just because you've changed your mind into staying. So be patient but with a time limit. If in 3-4 months you are still stuck in limbo where things are not moving forward, time to walk away for good. It wasn't meant to be.

I am really trying everything in my power to keep him out of my mind, its not easy when he keeps texting me all the time and we are talking about normal daily stuff.

I am willing to give him time and he told me it might take months for him to go through this to make a decision. I just really wish to see him more often, but he doesnt really make time for me like he used to. I dont want to bring it up to him so i wouldnt push him, but for us to reconnect more i think it would be good to start ‘dating’ more. 

at the same time i want to end things for good so i wouldnt have to worry all the time… i get so anxious

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11 minutes ago, Confusedinlovenow said:

I am so unsure why is he willing to even try again, does he really love me that much.

However i dont blame myself for trying to figure out my life and unfortunately this was the outcome of my decision. People make mistakes and this was one of them, I am willing to give him time but i dont know how I should try overcome my anxiety. He still texts me everyday and wants to know how I am, i am meeting him this weekend for sure. I do wish to see him more often though, maybe he needs his space

No -he has to decide if being with you would mean he doesn't love himself enough because it's too great a risk that you'll change your mind again.  People make mistakes.  In a romantic relationship it's not about that generalization.  It's a very individual thing - it depends on what the mistake was (you made a bad choice -but it was intentional so there's that) - whether and how you took responsibility for it and whether the victim of your mistake (your boyfriend) can get past it. 

No, you don't blame yourself for "figuring out your life" - your fault in this is you broke a promise to him -a really big one.  So for example if you wanted to "figure out your life" and realized that meant you'd no longer want to move to that country, then you could have told him you were sorry you flip flopped on this crucial decision and you would understand if he didn't want to give you another chance. 

Instead it's all about you -how "you're willing to wait" (but he's the victim here), how he should date you to help with your anxiety (but why does he have that obligation toward  you -you left).  It's not about your "wish" to see him more often -it's about his wish to take space or see you -leave it up to him.  

The way you try to overcome your anxiety is by finding ways - on your own - to do so.  Some things that help me- 4-7-8 breathing (Weil method -google it), cardio exercise, angry cleaning, calling a friend but not talking about myself, 

If he texts you every day that's fine -that's his choice.  If it makes you feel more attached tell him that maybe it's better, unless he's sure he wants to get back together, not to text you so much.

I'm sorry you're feeling anxious.  I just think your perspective and attitude needs a bit of an adjustment.

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13 hours ago, Confusedinlovenow said:

A. How long should I give him time to figure out if we should be officially together?
B. Should I play hard to get and let him chase me to get the excitement back again?

C. Or should I just be myself and plan things together, asking him out?

D. Or should I leave this dude in the dust and get on with my life?

I vote for Option D. You're an object of convenience for this guy. You can do better.

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15 hours ago, Confusedinlovenow said:

I am afraid we wont be able to proceed without relationship if we wont see each other frequently, maybe I am just being very un patient, but its been a long emotional road to this point.

How long should I give him time to figure out if we should be officially together?
Should I play hard to get and let him chase me to get the excitement back again?

You do see each other frequently still.  It may not be same as before, but you can't expect that at this time.

He has explained himself to you and you now need to accept this.  That he IS giving it another go and is at least an attempt again, but don't jump into this too quickly.  Neither of you know for sure IF this will proceed on a positive note.  Sometimes, it just doesn't.

As for time you give him.  You give him a lot of time!  Do not pressure him anymore... If you're not happy with what you have, then is up to you to back out.

And no, you dont play any games!  He is agreeing to try this again, to his ability. So, this will either progress on it's own, to where he ( or both of you) feel all is okay again, or it won't.

 

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9 hours ago, Confusedinlovenow said:

. I just really wish to see him more often, but he doesnt really make time for me like he used to. 

He's done with you. You're too undecided. One minute you're talking about moving back the next you change your mind again.

Why should he make time for you? You're unhappy homesick have one foot out the door and treated him poorly.

 

 

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2 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

OP, ask yourself this:

Will you still want to live in your current country if he tells you that he doesn't want to get back together? 

Will you still be there as a single woman, even if you don't talk to or see him anymore?

Hey yes I am still planning to stay here for my job and I have a lot of connections and friends here.

Whatever will happen I dont have an option to move home or somewhere else at this point. I really do hope things will get better between us, he even said to me last week when we spoke that he wishes that we dont end up in bad terms if this doesnt work out. But I said to him I wont be able to be his friend if we are not able to work this out. It will be too hard for me and him I think, its all or nothing for me.

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7 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

You do see each other frequently still.  It may not be same as before, but you can't expect that at this time.

He has explained himself to you and you now need to accept this.  That he IS giving it another go and is at least an attempt again, but don't jump into this too quickly.  Neither of you know for sure IF this will proceed on a positive note.  Sometimes, it just doesn't.

As for time you give him.  You give him a lot of time!  Do not pressure him anymore... If you're not happy with what you have, then is up to you to back out.

And no, you dont play any games!  He is agreeing to try this again, to his ability. So, this will either progress on it's own, to where he ( or both of you) feel all is okay again, or it won't.

 

Hey yes I know I should settle for what I have now, I am a very active person and we always did a lot of things together so it makes me feel bad he doesnt make time for me anymore that much.

The first time we met after the breakup, he told me we need to start hanging again slowly and see where things go. Now I feel I should just wait for him to ask me out rather than me making plans, would this be the right thing?

And today after a really bad morning anxiety I started to recap somethings what happened and why this is feeling like its so hard for me but he is feeling OK about taking things slow again.

When I told him about 4 months ago that I am leaving we discussed all of our fears and emotions together, we cried together for days and weeks and it was easy for him maybe to get over me leaving because I was there for him! He got over me me being there by his side and the process of the idea and breakup was maybe easier for him because we where still together.

Now he is on the other side of this situation, he feels calm and collected because he got to process all of things already he has been thinking for months, now the reality hits for me and im panicking. Its hard because I cant tell him and discuss how bad I am feeling and that I cant count on him anymore because the reason why I am anxious is him.

I dont know should I bring it up to him that I am feeling very bad about being this unsure or would that be a bad idea to let him know how much bad anxiety this situation gives me? The only thing that makes me feel a bit better is that we agreed in case someone to starts feeling bad in the relationship we will talk about it together and discuss it. But I dont know if me being anxious in this situation is one of the topics that I could talk to him about?

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9 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I vote for Option D. You're an object of convenience for this guy. You can do better.

Hey I am not so sure about that, I think he really does love me still and cares for me. He is planning on going somewhere for a weekend and even helping me to get my new apartment for me. I dont think anyone would do all this effort just to hook up or something.

His absence in my daily life is just making me feel crazy, even when we started dating I felt that I needed reassurance that we were together. I think for him he knows I am there for him and he always knew it, he is a kind of person who doesn't need reassurance of the relationship.

I just dont know what to text him when he is speaking to me everyday should I iniate texts like he is doing, asking how I am and just casually speaking.
We did this all the time when we were together. Checking on each other basically it made me feel safe in a way.

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