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she says she needs to think before becoming serious


kim905
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Hi there, 

 

I (M29) have been dating a girl (F30) for over a two months. Two weeks ago, I asked her "how she feels about me?" and said she likes me and gave a bunch of reasons why. 

I also told her that I like her. 

So, last week as we were walking towards a nearest subway station after dinner, I asked her if she would consider moving into something serious. 

Then she said "I need time to think about it". 

I am not sure what she means and kinda worried that I might have asked too soon?

 

We started dating, because we both wanted someone to marry and raise children. 

 

Thank you in advance. 

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2 hours ago, JJ262 said:

I am not sure what she means and kinda worried that I might have asked too soon?

I don't think that when you ask has anything to do with the answer. 

There's really not enough information here for me to offer much insight.

Does she know what you meant by "something serious?" Do you know?

Are you trying to be exclusive with her or are you trying to be engaged?

You said something that makes me wonder if she's feeling pressured by you:

2 hours ago, JJ262 said:

We started dating, because we both wanted someone to marry and raise children.

Lots of people date because they want marriage and kids. It doesn't mean they're going to marry the next person they date. 

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7 hours ago, JJ262 said:

Hi there, 

 

I (M29) have been dating a girl (F30) for over a two months. Two weeks ago, I asked her "how she feels about me?" and said she likes me and gave a bunch of reasons why. 

I also told her that I like her. 

So, last week as we were walking towards a nearest subway station after dinner, I asked her if she would consider moving into something serious. 

Then she said "I need time to think about it". 

I am not sure what she means and kinda worried that I might have asked too soon?

 

We started dating, because we both wanted someone to marry and raise children. 

 

Thank you in advance. 

Two months is a good amount of time to see whether you’re both on the same page or if interest levels are mutual. 

Just because you both decide on dating exclusively doesn’t mean that you’re going to marry one another.

Clarify next time what you mean by “moving into something serious”.

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8 hours ago, JJ262 said:

 I asked her if she would consider moving into something serious.  

What do you mean by "moving into something serious"?

60 Days dating is to get to know each other, not talk about marriage and kids.

It's a very strangely worded question. What does it mean? Dating exclusively? Having sex? 

Speak more clearly in terms people can understand. Stop talking about marriage and family with women you barely know. It's creepy.

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I am assuming by timeline its the same girl?

How did that go? I mean the presents and all?

Anyway, what people tell you they want and what they show you are sometimes entirely different thing. They can tell you they want certain stuff but do differently, or just dont want that stuff with you. All you can do is to see how its progressing and whether its going in the right direction or not. Its uncertain what do you mean by "progressing further".  If its "exclusive" talk, that is OK. And if she doesnt want that, its probably better to know now before you invest further into relationship. If by "progressing" you mean stuff like, I dunno, "moving in together" its probably way too soon for that. 

Also, do you still plan and pay for everything?

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Thanks for replies, guys. 

I guess my fault was that I didn't define what "moving into something serious" meant as it could mean a lot of things. I was thinking staying exclusive. 

Yep, it's the same girl I asked about the Christmas gift. I got her a small cake for her to enjoy and went well. She also bought me a gift for a new year. 

I guess I will wait, but it seems that she ahs pulled back based on her texting. 

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9 minutes ago, JJ262 said:

I was thinking staying exclusive. 

Then say so. Simply state that you wish to date her and only her. She may simply not want sex with you because your wording was too strange. "Move to something serious" is almost creepy. 

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18 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Then say so. Simply state that you wish to date her and only her. She may simply not want sex with you because your wording was too strange. "Move to something serious" is almost creepy. 

 

Then, should I text her to correct what I meant to say was being exclusive?

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It’s better if this is done in person. She may not want to meet with you again if she’s slowing down her responses.

Receiving a text like that out of the blue is quite awkward. It would cause someone to wonder why it’s such a desperate issue that it needs to be conveyed over text. 

If she meets with you again or accepts an invitation to go on a date, you’ll at least know she’s interested in still seeing you and can broach the subject. 

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10 hours ago, JJ262 said:

 

 

Then, should I text her to correct what I meant to say was being exclusive?

No text! Gah! What is it with all this texting?? No wonder people are confused!

Call her and during the conversation explain that you were asking if she would like to exclusively date you. 

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