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Worth it to ask for a second date?


SirIssacNutin
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I matched with this girl on Hinge like a week and a half ago. It was small talk and she was pretty slow to respond. I eventually was able to set a meet up with her and we did last night at a brewery. It was nice cause I didn't really know like anything about her prior so we had a lot to talk about. We were there for about 1.5-2 hours. My problem is I sometimes am really bad at reading if they are interested or not unless it's extremely obvious. I do know that she was engaged in the conversation the whole time, we constantly maintained eye contact, nothing really felt awkward or forced. She told me she's really bad at responding to people because she's not on her phone much at all, which I respect. At the end, I walked her to her car and gave her a hug and asked to exchange numbers. She gave me hers and told me to text her when I got home since I was driving a decent distance in the snow. I did when I got home and she said that she was glad I got home safe. I told her I had a great time and let's do it again soon. She still hasn't responded to that. Do you guys think she isn't really interested and gave me her number to be nice? Or should I not overthink it and if she never replies wait a few days and ask her if she would be interested on meeting up again?

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If she was excited to see you again I would think she would have responded but you never know until you try.

  Give her a few days and then try calling her when you think she will be able to talk.  I know texting is easier and less painful when you get turned down but be different and call her.  If she answers be ready to ask her out on a specific day and time to a specific thing.  Dinner at ________ around 6:30 on Friday or what ever.  If she says she is busy but offers another day/time that is a good sign but if all you get is excuses then...

If she doesn't answer leave her a message but don't ask her to call you back because that leaves you waiting for a call that may never come.  Tell her you are sorry you missed her and you will try back another time.  If she returns your call anyways that is a good thing but if not and she still doesn't answer then just leave it be.

  I don't want to tell you not to try again with her but the slow response thing initially and then silence when you brought up seeing each other again soon is not a good sign but I think you already knew that.

  Keep meeting new people and putting yourself out there as it will happen soon enough.

Lost

Edited by lostandhurt
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Wait for her response and see.

However her level of interest doesnt appear to be that great. When they are interested they would be happy to respond at reasonable time. When they are not you get stuff like no responses and excuses like "Oh I am bad at responding to people". But she did go through with the date so go with the flow. If she responds to a second date with a "No" or gets flacky and comes up with "Oh but I am busy" or something like that, you will have your answer.

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One of the most liberating things to grasp is that most people are NOT our match. That's just natural odds, and it doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you. Great chemistry is rare, and it's supposed to be rare. The idea is to hold out for the RIGHT match, like finding a needle in a haystack, with someone who really 'gets you'.

Most people DO make a decent companion for a couple drinks, so setting up meets with lots of people isn't a waste of time. When you find true simpatico with someone, you'll know it.

Head high.

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A statement such as "let's do it again soon or sometime" is the exact vague line I used to say right before wanting to forever bolt away from a first date without it being awkward. You didn't do anything wrong by saying that. You just set up the next step which is to follow up with a suggestion of another specific day and activity, as has already been advised in this thread. At that point, her response will tell you all you need to know about her interest since either she agrees or doesn't or suggests an alternative. If you need assurances and guarantees before you do anything in life, it's very likely going to be a flat, unfulfilled life.

Edited by James516
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It could go either way and seems lukewarm. If she’s disengaged from her phone and you depend on using the phone quite a lot (especially texting) to gauge a woman’s interest then she’s not the one for you. 

Call her and ask her out to a second date, see if she’d like to do X or visit a place. Did you get a sense of the things she likes on that first meet up? Suggest something she might like to do. Don’t bother with the texting. Just call.

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No she's not interested. Sure she gave you her number but, people don't like confrontation, so they comply and once they are out of reach, go silent as a way of hoping you get the hint.

An interested woman shows real interest, and there is no guessing that she is, or what some call mixed signals. They show it and you will know it.

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13 hours ago, SirIssacNutin said:

She told me she's really bad at responding to people

If you enjoy a responsive partner, this is not the girl for you. For me, it would be a no-go. I like a responsive partner and free-flowing communication. 

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On 1/8/2022 at 3:28 AM, SirIssacNutin said:

I told her I had a great time and let's do it again soon. She still hasn't responded to that.

The ball's in her court. Do not message or call her again unless she responds. IMO the lack of response means she's not interested, but you never know... just make sure to let her initiate any further contact after this.

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