Was he trying to make me jealous?

[Jessie_ay]

2 hours ago, DancingFool said:

Same reason musicians collect groupies - something to bang and flattering to the ego as he gets to feel like a big stud with a harem of girls around him. He is hoping you'll be dumb enough to join his harem. It's really not flattering to you, OP and not a compliment in any way.

You seem to have a habit of chatting up/stringing along guys you aren't actually interested in and when you do that, don't be surprised that you end up with weirdos. Guys worth having step away from games pretty fast.

Why would he call me at 3am begging me to talk to him. Then the next day call me sober saying I don’t put in effort to talk to him? Keep in mind I wasn’t talking to him for a whole week because it was getting boring .

[Jibralta]

6 minutes ago, Jessie_ay said:

Why would he call me at 3am begging me to talk to him. Then the next day call me sober saying I don’t put in effort to talk to him?

I think DancingFool's reason holds. It doesn't matter how he gets the harem, just that he gets the harem.

Why are you so interested in him?

[Jessie_ay]

1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

I think DancingFool's reason holds. It doesn't matter how he gets the harem, just that he gets the harem.

Why are you so interested in him?

I’m interested in the situation. 

[catfeeder]

Your gut has been telling you to stop dealing with this guy. I'd listen to it.

[MissCanuck]

4 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

I’m interested in the situation. 

What interests you about this?

It reads like you want us to tell you that he likes you and was upset you weren't talking to him. 

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

I’m interested in the situation. 

But it's not a situation -it's just you choosing to interact with online strangers and what you describe is typical, same old same old. If you find "what makes people tick" interesting -aside from how it affects your ego  - then maybe you have a calling here to study psychology? Read up on psychology by reputable authors?  If you're interested in creating drama with online strangers and then analyzing the "situation" that results then sure -you do you  - but ask yourself how much this has to do with your need for attention from online male strangers. 

(Also he may have added you by accident or when he was in the process of adding a number of women he's interacting with online so he also clicked on you -no biggie - just like people email or text the wrong person or add a friend on Facebook when they did not mean to - it's really a big nothing - don't assume it has anything to do with you or his motivation to interact with you -what he did has nothing to do with wanting to interact with you or know anything in particular about you).

[Andrina]

If a guy wasn't interested in regularly asking me out for dates, at least once a week at the beginning, and twice a week as things progressed, I wouldn't waste time being a text buddy. Block and delete. I'm not gonna be a toy a cat bats around whenever he's in the mood to play.

[Jibralta]

13 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

I’m interested in the situation. 

What do you find interesting about it?

[boltnrun]

Given that this is the second strange guy you're asking "why" about, I have to wonder if this is a pattern.

[Jessie_ay]

2 hours ago, Andrina said:

If a guy wasn't interested in regularly asking me out for dates, at least once a week at the beginning, and twice a week as things progressed, I wouldn't waste time being a text buddy. Block and delete. I'm not gonna be a toy a cat bats around whenever he's in the mood to play.

He was asking me out and planning dates 

[Jessie_ay]

5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

But it's not a situation -it's just you choosing to interact with online strangers and what you describe is typical, same old same old. If you find "what makes people tick" interesting -aside from how it affects your ego  - then maybe you have a calling here to study psychology? Read up on psychology by reputable authors?  If you're interested in creating drama with online strangers and then analyzing the "situation" that results then sure -you do you  - but ask yourself how much this has to do with your need for attention from online male strangers. 

(Also he may have added you by accident or when he was in the process of adding a number of women he's interacting with online so he also clicked on you -no biggie - just like people email or text the wrong person or add a friend on Facebook when they did not mean to - it's really a big nothing - don't assume it has anything to do with you or his motivation to interact with you -what he did has nothing to do with wanting to interact with you or know anything in particular about you).

You have it wrong . I do know him in person I’ve hung with plenty of times this is not a internet buddy.

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, Jessie_ay said:

He was asking me out and planning dates 

How many dates that he planned did you go on? If none then it really doesn't mean anything,  You hung out -on dates?  You talked to him for months --- in person?

[Jessie_ay]

6 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

How many dates that he planned did you go on? If none then it really doesn't mean anything,  You hung out -on dates?  You talked to him for months --- in person?

We went on lots of dates and talked in person a lot 

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, Jessie_ay said:

We went on lots of dates and talked in person a lot 

Then why don't you ask him if he was trying to make you jealous since you seem to know him well? It seems very important to you to know if that is so.  

[Jessie_ay]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

Then why don't you ask him if he was trying to make you jealous since you seem to know him well? It seems very important to you to know if that is so.  

I don’t think you understand Snapchat. 
 

So when you post a story on your Snapchat everyone on your snap will see it. 
 

now when you post on your private you choose  who will be able to view it. 
 

why are you posting girls on your private we’re on a few people can see them and not posting it on your regular story for everyone to see it, and why was I added to this private story if we don’t talk anymore.

I was never on this private story until we stopped talking. People on my private story are close friends.  Then he sends me a pic of himself and tried to talk with me throughout his whole vacation. 
 

so this isn’t really a stretch here . 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

We went on lots of dates and talked in person a lot 

Are you jealous? Did his SC work to make you jealous?

[boltnrun]

On 1/6/2022 at 7:46 PM, Jessie_ay said:

So I was talking to this guy for some months ! We would talk everyday eventually I got bored and stoped responding. Then he texts me a week later blowing up my phone telling me he miss me, and begging me to talk to him at 3am. The next day he apologizes and says he was drunk. I talked to him for a little , but eventually stopped responding. Then he adds me to this private Snapchat , where he picks who sees his story . Anyways he adds me to it and starts posting him with girls wearing his shirts, and him out drinking with girls? Why was I added to this private story ? I was never on it before ?

Never in your OP did you say you've gone on lots of dates with this guy.  You said you were "talking to" this guy for some months!  

It would have been helpful to mention this is a guy you've been dating for some months.  The situation is a lot different than just some rando you communicated with online.

[Andrina]

So he stopped asking you out and stopped talking to you. Why do you want to continue to be a part of his life when he doesn't see a future with you? I'm assuming you can block so you're no longer bothered by what he does or why.

[Jessie_ay]

On 1/8/2022 at 2:00 PM, Andrina said:

So he stopped asking you out and stopped talking to you. Why do you want to continue to be a part of his life when he doesn't see a future with you? I'm assuming you can block so you're no longer bothered by what he does or why.

Nope I stopped talking to him cause I was bored. Then he texts and called me drunk like a week later telling me he misses me and begging me to talk to him at 3am. Then he called me the next day sober asking me why I never text him first and etc. I stoped talking to him again that’s when he added me to his private story posting other girls. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

begging me to talk to him at 3am. Then he called me the next day sober 

It's sad you are so lonely or desperate that you are willing to accept shabby creepy treatment from men rather than simply deleting and blocking them.

Have any decent men asked you out or communicated with you? Do any of them treat you with respect or just paw you up, stare, call at 3am, call drunk, etc.?

[Jessie_ay]

41 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's sad you are so lonely or desperate that you are willing to accept shabby creepy treatment from men rather than simply deleting and blocking them.

Have any decent men asked you out or communicated with you? Do any of them treat you with respect or just paw you up, stare, call at 3am, call drunk, etc.?

I’m not desperate or lonely! What are you talking about ? I have lots of friends I’m a junior in college and have a active dating life and I’m very young and learning. If your going to be judge mental or shady save it and don’t respond! You took the time out of your day to respond to someone desperate and lonely? Grow up .

[Wiseman2]

32 minutes ago, Jessie_ay said:

 I’m a junior in college and have a active dating life

Excellent. Make 2022 the year you only hang out with/date guys who treat you with respect and delete/block bozos who call all hours drunk or act weird/paw you up on dates.

[Jessie_ay]

43 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Excellent. Make 2022 the year you only hang out with/date guys who treat you with respect and delete/block bozos who call all hours drunk or act weird/paw you up on dates.

Yeah I know the thing is they seem normal when I first start talking to them ! It’s not like I talk to them off of them being creeps! They eventually show they are like these two guys ! All my other dating experiences have been great and normal ! 

[reinventmyself]

22 hours ago, Jessie_ay said:

Yeah I know the thing is they seem normal when I first start talking to them ! It’s not like I talk to them off of them being creeps! They eventually show they are like these two guys ! All my other dating experiences have been great and normal ! 

Good. . .close the door on this and move forward with your life. 

Why waste time trying to decode the actions of some flakey guy?  Believe you deserve better and only surround yourself with quality people and turn your back on these types of people.  You will come across many, many more like him.  Why do they do it?  Who cares?  Learn to spot them and not be surprised.

How about changing the way you go about handling these situations and viewing it as a waste of your valuable time.