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Ex acting strange while doing strict NC


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well, my ex called after 6 weeks of NC, but she got a busy signal because my aol call alert told me so. Just a brief to let you know what's going on - I told my ex 6 weeks ago not to call me anymore because I was getting to frustrated w/her dating others and not wanting to be with me so I wrote her an email saying I love you but don't call me anymore, so she was very mad and probably still is but respected my wishes, until she called yesterday. I was guessing she was just curious to know how I was doing or just wanted to ask a stupid question - dunno.

 

Anyways tonight I was getting ready to leave and she pulls up a couple spaces away (we live in the same apt. complex). I pretend to be digging in my car for something, kind of stalling to leave to see if she would come over and say something to me, but she didn't and ignored me (I know she saw me!) She did have somebody else with her, I think a guy because I saw both doors open. I did not see her or who she was with because they went in the apt. so fast, but I know she saw me. I was surprised she didn't come over to say something since she tried to call me yesterday after 6 weeks of very strict NC.

 

So what is her deal, I figured she misses me since she tried to call twice yesterday late, but then she ignores me when she knows I'm 30 feet away from her and acts all like she doesn't give a crap about me with her "man" or whoever the hell he is. Am I missing something here?

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She did exaclty what you did. She pretended she didn't see you. You saw her and did the same thing by pretending to be occupied. What she is doing is exactly what you asked her to do in the e-mail - NC.

 

I remember the other topic you posted and I'll restate the advice I gave you there. Just keep ignoring her. If she wants you back she'll seek you out and tell you in so many words. If what you keep getting are half hearted attempts at small talk, she's just stringing you along.

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Most likely it was because she had a guy who doesn't know about you and she would have been nuts to approach you in front of him.

 

Just in case that hurts you, keep in mind that there's a possibility she'd rather that guy not have been there, so she could have been able to approach you.

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she may have called you twice, but until you know her intentions, which you never will, keep living strong. she may have had a 5-second flake last night, wanted to feel your comforting voice/etc. be strong, keep firm, don't be cruel or demanding... if she really wants you, she'll come crawling back. if she doesn't, and just continues to want to play your emotions--you won't fall for it.

 

maybe she doesn't want to date you, but she misses your companionship--the woman who earns your love/respect will receive that true companionship--don't squander it on some woman who doesn't deserve it. at least, she doesn't deserve it yet.

 

Best!

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That's right, it's going to have to take more than a couple of half-hearted attempts to make small talk for her to get through to you. That's just the way it has to be. If she was with some other guy, it would certainly explain why she didn't say what's up. That would just be weird. Just keep it cool like you've been and see how it plays out, but don't give her oppertunities to contact you on purpose. She'll see through that and it will give her the wrong impression. Just go about your business as if she's not there until she takes that extra step to make contact with you. Then you can have some dialogue.

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