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Did he like me or did I read the signs wrong?


Saynomind
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Hi. 

So I've always not had the best results with guys

So a little background info about me. I am a late bloomer. I was a chubby kid until I was 17 years old when I shed the weight.  I never had much interaction with the opposite gender so I never thought I was somewhat desirable. 

 

It didnt faze me when I was young as I was too busy doing with school  and extra sport activities. It was only when I got to my 20s that I started notice guys more. 

 

My look changed, I started to put effort on my style and even added some make up to my everyday look.

 

I would always get compliments from my friends (girls) on my looks but never knew if I appealed to guys.  So I never knew  if a guy liked me or was just being nice..

 

One time at my work I was on a break and I met this guy from another department. He made the point to say hello to me and ask me if I was new. We striked up a conversation and quickly got on.  

I like to think I'm an observant but in each of these interaction. I was noticing a few things that made me question whether he was talking to me to be nice or was firlting.

 

For example, the first day he met me I noticed that he scanned my whole body and face then smile.

He started to compliment my attire, saying things " you look good today" ,  " I like the shirt you are wearing today". Bear in mind, I never once start complimenting him. I kept it quite professional and friendly. 

 

I think this sign threw me off. One time he saw me from afar, he waved then he made a point to blow a kiss. 

I was shocked about this since it was kinda corny and a bold gesture for a work friend. 

You see in most cases, I would have mark this as creepy but I will be honest that I was attracted to him.  To get this kinda of attention is not something I'm used to.  So I assume the feeling was mutual.  So I flirted back. I think I was quite obvious showing that I liked him.

However in the next few days. I realised things changed and he started to avoid me.  He sees me and pretends to not see me. He avoids making eye contact with me. 

I was so confused and thought I read him wrong. I kinda felt dejected and stupid. It was like I was that chubby kid again. Long story short, Nothing happened between us and we stop speaking.

I am not sure if my lack of experience with guys meant that I read the situation wrong.  Now whenever, I speak to a guy ( I'm interested in) I cant never tell if he is being nice to me or likes me. 

 

So I want ask- did I read the situation wrong? Was he being nice and I misread for something else?

 

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He may be the office flirt, but doesn't want to date co-workers or have messy office romances.

That's ok. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men for a low-key coffee .

That way it's not as confusing whether a co-worker is friendly or flirty.

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My first question is:  Is he straight or homosexual?  I am not kidding, it is a valid question and might explain a lot.

  So lets say he is interested but you kept it professional so he took the hint and dropped it.

I would guess that yes he was interested in you.  Not many guys will approach a woman and compliment their clothing unless they are trying to move in closer.

 Don't feel bad if you missed the clues or saw them to late as it happens. 

  Confidence is sexy and very attractive to me and other men so work on that.  Do something for yourself like pamper yourself, new outfit or a mini make over to boost your self image until you believe it when others tell you how good you look.

  What would happen if you went up to him and asked him if he had any big plans for the weekend?  Could you be brave enough to do that?

 Lost

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Be friendly and greet him when you see him. He’s behaving oddly but it doesn’t necessarily mean it has anything to do with you. For all you know he’s just met someone else or is going through a rough patch with someone he’s already dating or just having an off day. 

Be your lovely self and focus on your work. It’s good that you’ve remained professional. 

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

He may be the office flirt, but doesn't want to date co-workers or have messy office romances.

That's ok. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men for a low-key coffee .

That way it's not as confusing whether a co-worker is friendly or flirty.

Yes, I agree. That's the better solution. 

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1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

My first question is:  Is he straight or homosexual?  I am not kidding, it is a valid question and might explain a lot.

He's straight.

1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

  So lets say he is interested but you kept it professional so he took the hint and dropped it.

I was professional at first then I tried to flirting back(maybe my flirting game was not great lool) 

1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

Don't feel bad if you missed the clues or saw them to late as it happens. 

  Confidence is sexy and very attractive to me and other men so work on that.  Do something for yourself like pamper yourself, new outfit or a mini make over to boost your self image until you believe it when others tell you how good you look.

I think self confidence is key. I believe some of this stem from what I think of myself. I need to work on me and develop myself. 

1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

  What would happen if you went up to him and asked him if he had any big plans for the weekend?  Could you be brave enough to do that?

 Lost

It's been a while since we spoke and I think it's already died out.  If I see him, I will be friendly but otherwise leave it platonic. 

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1 hour ago, Rose Mosse said:

Be friendly and greet him when you see him. He’s behaving oddly but it doesn’t necessarily mean it has anything to do with you. For all you know he’s just met someone else or is going through a rough patch with someone he’s already dating or just having an off day. 

Be your lovely self and focus on your work. It’s good that you’ve remained professional. 

I think that's the best solution. I  will continue doing me and get on with work as normal.🙂

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Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, Batya33 said:

There's a difference between these two questions:  "Does he like me" (meaning is he attracted to me) and "Is he interested in dating me?" Do you want to know the former or the latter? Or both?

I think it was both. As I wasn't sure if I was misreading the signs that he was only being nice. I hope that makes sense. 

 

Edited by Saynomind
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1 hour ago, Saynomind said:

I think it was both. As I wasn't sure if I was misreading the signs that he was only being nice. I hope that makes sense. 

 

If a man is interested and available to date the only relevant sign to know if he wants to date you is he asks you out on a date he plans in advance.  With rare exception.  Could be that he as a rule doesn't want to date coworkers.  As far as whether a man is attracted to you - he can be attracted to you and not want to date you.  He might be attracted to you but it sounds like you also want to know if he wants to date you.  

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10 hours ago, Batya33 said:

If a man is interested and available to date the only relevant sign to know if he wants to date you is he asks you out on a date he plans in advance.  With rare exception.  Could be that he as a rule doesn't want to date coworkers.  As far as whether a man is attracted to you - he can be attracted to you and not want to date you. He might be attracted to you but it sounds like you also want to know if he wants to date you. 

 

Oh, interesting. I learn something new every day. I really didn't know that ( *the attraction but not wanting to date part).

To be honest, I did want him to date at first but with all random gestures and cold shoulder, it put me me off. It's already sounds like hard work. I am okay with just being a co- worker. 

Everyone's insight/input helped aswell.  Thanks Y'all.  😊 

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2 hours ago, Saynomind said:

 

Oh, interesting. I learn something new every day. I really didn't know that ( *the attraction but not wanting to date part).

To be honest, I did want him to date at first but with all random gestures and cold shoulder, it put me me off. It's already sounds like hard work. I am okay with just being a co- worker. 

Everyone's insight/input helped aswell.  Thanks Y'all.  😊 

I mean just because someone finds someone else attractive or feels an attraction doesn't mean they want to go on a date with the person -maybe they know they wouldn't have enough in common, maybe already starting to date someone else, or simply just not willing to put in the effort to ask the person out - would rather be attracted from a distance.  

I'm glad you have enough of a sense of self and your value that it's not worth all the work -lots of other people will be approachable and interested and reciprocate interest

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