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Need Some Advice After A Virtual Speed Dating Event


Ugly_Duckling
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Hey everyone I’m new here, and need a little advice. This may be a little long so you know the full details.

On December 28th I attended a Speeddating Event through Zoom. I matched with a girl I’ve seen one other time at the same event towards the beginning of Covid. I chose her then but she didn’t choose me. At that time she seemed a little bored and uninterested in Speeddating saying she’s doing it because a friend said try it out.

The second time I met her she was really friendly. I liked her both times despite the first time she seemed uninterested. Anyway we matched the second time.

My dating life is pretty much non-existent just no luck at all. So I was happy to see we matched.

The event organizer emailed me her phone number and email address two days after the Event which I immediately texted her right after.

The text I sent said “Good morning this is (my name) from the 8min dating. Just got the email this morning that we matched. How’s it going?”

It was just a quick intro text, didn’t want to say to much in the first text. Since I have little dating experience I have to rely on online articles about texting women. You would think just being yourself and text is all you have to do. But apparently not according to these articles.

After I sent the text I read an article on texting which I should have read first. One tip they gave was make it short and don’t ask questions such as, “It was really nice seeing you last night.” All the examples were written as if you met each other at a bar or physical location not really related to virtual dating.

So to improvise I felt I needed to right more because it was two days later, and we met over zoom not a physical place. So I thought I should remind her who I was and from where. Also since it was two days later I didn’t want her to think I was ignoring her which is what I think she’s doing with me.

According to relationship articles I only get two chances to contact her if she doesn’t respond. I’ve only sent the one text and I think seven days past without a response. I also read you shouldn’t call a girl the first time you meet because it’s to much pressure for her, and I should text first. Is this true?

To be clear this was an introduction text. I was planning on seeing if we could meet in person if I ever get to talk to her. I’ve taken some Dating Coaching from the organizer of the event. She said once you get a match try to scedual an in person date instead of keeping it over text. My other two failed matches in the past were over text because I couldn’t decide when to do a in person date.

I really don’t want to screw this up like the last two from Speeddating. But I’m making mistakes and don’t know what mistakes I’m making because nobody can tell me.

What should I do?

Why do you think she didn’t respond even though we matched?

Why choose me if your not going to respond?

Should I call her, text, or email one more time?

Don’t know why dating is filled with constant games. I just want a relationship.

Theres also the possibility she never received my text. Sometime my texts will show for me but not on there end. If this isn’t true I don’t want to send to many texts.

Any ideas or advise? This doesn’t happen much and I don’t want to mess it up.

Thanks

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14 minutes ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

I also read you shouldn’t call a girl the first time you meet because it’s to much pressure for her, and I should text first. Is this true?

No, it's not true. Everybody is different. Act the way that you feel is appropriate. Don't modify your behavior according to some fictional average. That's useless. You want to find someone who likes you the way that you are, not for pretending to be someone with different thoughts and behaviors. I don't think there's anything wrong with the way that you handled it. Seemed perfectly normal to me.

16 minutes ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

What should I do?

Relax. You can wait a couple of days and text again, or bide your time and wait for her to respond. Just don't bombard her with repeated text messages. Most importantly, relax and put this into perspective. She's not the last girl on earth and this wasn't the only speed dating service on the planet.

20 minutes ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

Why do you think she didn’t respond even though we matched?

Who knows? Maybe she's busy. Maybe she met somebody else. Maybe she's not taking this as seriously as you are.

21 minutes ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

Why choose me if your not going to respond?

See above.

21 minutes ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

Should I call her, text, or email one more time?

Sure. 

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So it’s been four days since that text? I’d give her a call and leave a voicemail if it goes to voicemail. Mention briefly your text issue and wanting to just make sure you touch base with her. There was nothing wrong with your text content. I think it was well done.

The no calling rule is nonsense. I’ve always appreciated a phone call over texting. As mentioned above, everyone is different. Now that you’ve also mentioned there are articles like this warning individuals not to call it makes sense why the men I’ve dated in the past have been so stunned when I’ve picked up the phone to call instead.

Think of there being no games on your end, no endless articles instructing you about imaginary rules. Remain respectful and give someone time to respond. Accept a non-response or a couple of non-responses as disinterest. And lastly do not take it personally. 

Edited by Rose Mosse
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54 minutes ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

the organizer of the event. She said once you get a match try to scedual an in person date instead of keeping it over text.

This is excellent advice whether you are using this venue or OLD. The articles you're reading make no sense and seem more like tricks and games that don't work.

Message something that includes a compliment on the profile, the person, state something about yourself , then ask about meeting up for a coffee. 

 These  articles are confusing you into making bad decisions by playing it too cool and playing games. Use your own common sense, you'll do a lot better than trying to do it a thousand different dating coach's ways.

Edited by Wiseman2
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54 minutes ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

Why do you think she didn’t respond even though we matched?

Why choose me if your not going to respond?

Should I call her, text, or email one more time?

Don’t know why dating is filled with constant games. I just want a relationship.

She could have possibly matched up with a few other's, not just you. She has options as well.

You can msg her again, if you want.  She may respond to that one - or not.

If you don't want games, don't play them.  You need to look at your options.  YOU are the one choosing to go this route.  I have never done a 'speed date'.  Not interested in that type of option to meet someone or a bunch of someone's.

You almost sound a little 'needy'... You just want a relationship.  Okay, but that takes time & patience.  No, our perfect person is usually not the first one we find attractive.. and expect this anywhere you go searching.. Dating sites, the same.

You need to realize & accept that women are constantly getting hit on out there.  On dating sites, a woman can get a number of hits a day... so don't expect a response all of the time.

Take it easy, slow down and go in stride. Lower your expectations in all of this.. And someday, you may just click nicely with a good, decent woman who shows the same interest.

 

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Relax and stop treating this like she is the last woman on earth.

 She might not have  responded for several reasons which in the end it does not matter because you cannot control if and when she responds no matter the cause.  All you can do is control how you feel, how you approach all this and what you do.

  First off I have always had great success when I send a first message (online or text) and end it with a question.  The question breaks the ice and gives them something to respond to with  the answer kind of making their turn to reply.  You did well with your text to her so don't worry about that.

  A phone call is unfortunately out of the ordinary these days but I have used it to wonderful success.  The thing is you need to know what you are going to say if she answers or if she doesn't.  If she answers: "Hi, this is __________. We matched at the speed dating thing, is this a good time to talk and get to know each other a little?"

If she doesn't answer: "Hi, this is ___________ from speed dating.  Looks like I missed you.  I will try you again later so we chat a little and get to know each other."  If she is really interested I have found they will call back even though I said I would try her back later.  If she doesn't and I call again a few days later when I am pretty  sure she can answer and she doesn't pick up I won't leave a message and just figure she is not interested and move on.

  I don't know what articles you are reading but they seem childish to me. Maybe they were referring to very young people dating advice.

Either way you did great on the initial text and I am sure she got it but just didn't respond.  That sucks but you tried.  Who knows why she agreed to allow the admin to send her info to you and then changed her mind but don't give up.  You may see her again at the  same event so be cool and show interest again.  Sometimes the timing is wrong, they get to talking to someone else and don't want to multi date or when the reality  of actually talking and meeting someone happens they balk.

  Give it a few days and give her a call and see what happens.

Good luck

 Lost 

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2 hours ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

What should I do?

 

Find some other girl that will respond.

2 hours ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

Why choose me if your not going to respond?

 

Have you ever been on Tinder? Sometimes even if you do get match, they will not respond or talk to you. Maybe they get other matches, maybe they are just bored in general, who knows. Think some research shows only 5% even searches the relationship. Most of them treats it like Instagram and searches for validation. That is online dating in general most of the times. She maybe likes that you like her. But doesnt want to actually respond to you.

2 hours ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

Should I call her, text, or email one more time?

 

No, just no. If she hasnt responded the first time chances are she wont second time, I am sorry. From what you said she didnt appeared to be that interested in general and was just dragged there by friend, its highly unlikely she is interested now. Take a hint and move on.

I see others suggested to try again, I really wouldnt. You sent a message. The ball is in her court now. If she doesnt respond, that is OK, you dont take it personally,  and find somebody who would be glad to respong to you and not forget about you and not respond at all. I think Batya or somebody else here said that you have to be pretty strong about dating in general and not take it by heart. I would borrow that and suggest that you dont see it as something disheartening. And to just keep trying. Remember that you didnt do anything wrong and that you did try it. Sometimes its just not up to us. After you find somebody that would be glad to hear from you, you will wonder who this one even is. So, heads up and go upward. 

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January and February are peak sign up times for dating apps. Lots of fresh new faces looking to start the New Year off right.

Take advantage of this and get a good profile and picks on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women for a low key coffee.

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13 hours ago, Jibralta said:

No, it's not true. Everybody is different. Act the way that you feel is appropriate. Don't modify your behavior according to some fictional average. That's useless. You want to find someone who likes you the way that you are, not for pretending to be someone with different thoughts and behaviors. I don't think there's anything wrong with the way that you handled it. Seemed perfectly normal to me.

Relax. You can wait a couple of days and text again, or bide your time and wait for her to respond. Just don't bombard her with repeated text messages. Most importantly, relax and put this into perspective. She's not the last girl on earth and this wasn't the only speed dating service on the planet.

Who knows? Maybe she's busy. Maybe she met somebody else. Maybe she's not taking this as seriously as you are.

See above.

Sure. 

Those articles are always stressful because they make you think you have been doing it wrong the whole time.

But I’ll give her a call hopefully she was just really busy.

Thanks

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13 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

So it’s been four days since that text? I’d give her a call and leave a voicemail if it goes to voicemail. Mention briefly your text issue and wanting to just make sure you touch base with her. There was nothing wrong with your text content. I think it was well done.

The no calling rule is nonsense. I’ve always appreciated a phone call over texting. As mentioned above, everyone is different. Now that you’ve also mentioned there are articles like this warning individuals not to call it makes sense why the men I’ve dated in the past have been so stunned when I’ve picked up the phone to call instead.

Think of there being no games on your end, no endless articles instructing you about imaginary rules. Remain respectful and give someone time to respond. Accept a non-response or a couple of non-responses as disinterest. And lastly do not take it personally. 

It’s actually been about 6 days now I put the wrong number I think. Yea I’m going to call her. I was actually waiting to talk to the dating coach I scheduled an appointment with but it was taking to long so I wrote a post on here.

Actually I wrote it on Reddit first and didn’t get any responses. At that point it was 4 days since the event. But on this site more time went past.

yea those sites say a lot of stuff. I used to write women just being myself but those articles kept saying I was to boring and dull and women want a forceful alpha male. Some gave examples saying if your rude to women they will find you more attractive. I don’t get many women but that last part about being rude doesn’t seem like I’d work. Maybe if your a guy who looks like a model but I don’t know.

So I’ll give her a call and if she’s not interested I guess I’ll move on.

Thanks

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13 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

This is excellent advice whether you are using this venue or OLD. The articles you're reading make no sense and seem more like tricks and games that don't work.

Message something that includes a compliment on the profile, the person, state something about yourself , then ask about meeting up for a coffee. 

 These  articles are confusing you into making bad decisions by playing it too cool and playing games. Use your own common sense, you'll do a lot better than trying to do it a thousand different dating coach's ways.

Yea if she responds when I call I’ll try to set up an in person date. I hate reading those articles but in the past I was just myself and still never got a date. This was back when I did online dating unfortunately I never asked a girl out in person except once and never tried it again because of it. 
 

But the articles just made stuff worse and stressful, made me over think. I’d take me a day to send one text because I didn’t know if I worded it properly.

But I’ll try to be myself and not use the articles. I actually never complimented a women because I thought they would think I was creepy. I’ll have to think of something that won’t give off that vibe.

Thanks

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12 minutes ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

. I was actually waiting to talk to the dating coach I scheduled an appointment with but it was taking to long so I wrote a post on here.

Actually I wrote it on Reddit first and didn’t get any responses. At that point it was 4 days since the event. But on this site more time went past.

yea those sites say a lot of stuff. I used to write women just being myself but those articles kept saying I was to boring and dull and women want a forceful alpha male. Some gave examples saying if your rude to women they will find you more attractive. I don’t get many women but that last part about being rude doesn’t seem like I’d work. Maybe if your a guy who looks like a model but I don’t know.

So I’ll give her a call and if she’s not interested I guess I’ll move on.

Thanks

Stop with the articles, dating coaches.

Most of all get off the reddit toilet  that's full of regurgitated pickup artist BS and a lot of Incels and other assorted misogynistic groups giving ridiculous "advice".

What you are doing is not dating, it's playing games using bizarre strategies etc. It's as if you're playing video games rather than dating.

Just be yourself. It's that simple. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women.

 

Edited by Wiseman2
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13 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

She could have possibly matched up with a few other's, not just you. She has options as well.

You can msg her again, if you want.  She may respond to that one - or not.

If you don't want games, don't play them.  You need to look at your options.  YOU are the one choosing to go this route.  I have never done a 'speed date'.  Not interested in that type of option to meet someone or a bunch of someone's.

You almost sound a little 'needy'... You just want a relationship.  Okay, but that takes time & patience.  No, our perfect person is usually not the first one we find attractive.. and expect this anywhere you go searching.. Dating sites, the same.

You need to realize & accept that women are constantly getting hit on out there.  On dating sites, a woman can get a number of hits a day... so don't expect a response all of the time.

Take it easy, slow down and go in stride. Lower your expectations in all of this.. And someday, you may just click nicely with a good, decent woman who shows the same interest.

 

Yea I’m almost certain she did match with others. There were better looking guys on there then me. Speed Dating is my only option. I did online dating for years with no luck. So I figured with speed dating I can at least talk to them and not just see a profile picture. Other than online or Speed dating I don’t know where to meet women. I was told to ask women out at singles events any other place there not looking such as libraries or grocery stores because there busy. But if it happens by accident at these places it’s fine just don’t go seeking it out.

I wouldn’t say needy since I’m not asking every woman everywhere I go. But yes I want a relationship but not with anyone.

And yea women are flooded with messages on these sites just as a lot of men don’t get messages. A lot do but these a lot that get ignored. There’s really no way to stand out, you just write a message and hope they write back I guess.

But as you said slow down. Maybe one day I’ll find some one I guess.

Thanks

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13 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Relax and stop treating this like she is the last woman on earth.

 She might not have  responded for several reasons which in the end it does not matter because you cannot control if and when she responds no matter the cause.  All you can do is control how you feel, how you approach all this and what you do.

  First off I have always had great success when I send a first message (online or text) and end it with a question.  The question breaks the ice and gives them something to respond to with  the answer kind of making their turn to reply.  You did well with your text to her so don't worry about that.

  A phone call is unfortunately out of the ordinary these days but I have used it to wonderful success.  The thing is you need to know what you are going to say if she answers or if she doesn't.  If she answers: "Hi, this is __________. We matched at the speed dating thing, is this a good time to talk and get to know each other a little?"

If she doesn't answer: "Hi, this is ___________ from speed dating.  Looks like I missed you.  I will try you again later so we chat a little and get to know each other."  If she is really interested I have found they will call back even though I said I would try her back later.  If she doesn't and I call again a few days later when I am pretty  sure she can answer and she doesn't pick up I won't leave a message and just figure she is not interested and move on.

  I don't know what articles you are reading but they seem childish to me. Maybe they were referring to very young people dating advice.

Either way you did great on the initial text and I am sure she got it but just didn't respond.  That sucks but you tried.  Who knows why she agreed to allow the admin to send her info to you and then changed her mind but don't give up.  You may see her again at the  same event so be cool and show interest again.  Sometimes the timing is wrong, they get to talking to someone else and don't want to multi date or when the reality  of actually talking and meeting someone happens they balk.

  Give it a few days and give her a call and see what happens.

Good luck

 Lost 

When I did online dating I’d read every profile bio top to bottom. Then write a message introducing myself, commenting on interests in her bio then end with a question about the previous interests. Some women would read my message because an icon would say it was read and others ignored them. But both women even the ones who read the message wouldn’t respond. After a couple years of that I turned to the dating articles just finding anything on google that I thought would help. None of it worked. Despite still never getting a girl I’m still trying.

Its really hard, so many attractive people out there it’s hard to stand out and get noticed.
 

But I’ll try those lines when I call her. If it doesn’t work I’ll move on.

Oh and thanks at least I know my text to her was good. 
 

Thank

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12 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

Find some other girl that will respond.

Have you ever been on Tinder? Sometimes even if you do get match, they will not respond or talk to you. Maybe they get other matches, maybe they are just bored in general, who knows. Think some research shows only 5% even searches the relationship. Most of them treats it like Instagram and searches for validation. That is online dating in general most of the times. She maybe likes that you like her. But doesnt want to actually respond to you.

No, just no. If she hasnt responded the first time chances are she wont second time, I am sorry. From what you said she didnt appeared to be that interested in general and was just dragged there by friend, its highly unlikely she is interested now. Take a hint and move on.

I see others suggested to try again, I really wouldnt. You sent a message. The ball is in her court now. If she doesnt respond, that is OK, you dont take it personally,  and find somebody who would be glad to respong to you and not forget about you and not respond at all. I think Batya or somebody else here said that you have to be pretty strong about dating in general and not take it by heart. I would borrow that and suggest that you dont see it as something disheartening. And to just keep trying. Remember that you didnt do anything wrong and that you did try it. Sometimes its just not up to us. After you find somebody that would be glad to hear from you, you will wonder who this one even is. So, heads up and go upward. 

Yes I’ve been on Tinder also Bumble and all the main dating sites. Yea your right you get matched on Tinder and they still don’t respond. I thought Virtual Speed Dating would be different but I guess not.

But I should say she was told to do it by a friend the first time and seemed uninterested but months later the second time she tried it again and seemed happy. That’s  the day we matched which is why I thought she was in to me.

Anyway, I hope I find a girl who’s glad to hear from me. No one’s ever been yet but maybe one day.

Thanks

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12 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

January and February are peak sign up times for dating apps. Lots of fresh new faces looking to start the New Year off right.

Take advantage of this and get a good profile and picks on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women for a low key coffee.

Oh I’ve tried ever dating site and popular app for years since 2006. Tinder, Match, Bumble etc… No women ever responded and almost most scammed by one but I didn’t fall for it. They pretended they were starving in Nigeria. Then almost got scammed on Twitter. I knew it was fake for weeks but it was fun to pretend. Then they wanted iTunes gift card codes and I’m like no.

I turned to Speed Dating during COVID because I can talk to people and not wonder if my messages will get answered. Also my profile pics are always ugly and online dating is really all about the profile pics.

I don’t know, online just never worked. I’ve run out of options. But seriously the profile pics are horrible.

Maybe I’ll give in and try it again though. 
 

Thanks

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Stop with the articles, dating coaches.

Most of all get off the reddit toilet  that's full of regurgitated pickup artist BS and a lot of Incels and other assorted misogynistic groups giving ridiculous "advice".

What you are doing is not dating, it's playing games using bizarre strategies etc. It's as if you're playing video games rather than dating.

Just be yourself. It's that simple. Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women.

 

It really is full of pickup artists everywhere. But I left those groups earlier today. They weren’t even responding to me. 
 

The dating sites never worked for me I don’t know why. I told you about my dating site issues in a previous post. I’m getting confused with all these posts I think I’m answering them out of order. 

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4 hours ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

I’m getting confused with all these posts I think I’m answering them out of order.

It doesn't matter. It's easy to put them together.

6 hours ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

Those articles are always stressful because they make you think you have been doing it wrong the whole time.

Yes. Articles like that feed off of and into your stress about the situation. It's a vicious cycle.

5 hours ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

But I’ll try to be myself and not use the articles. I actually never complimented a women because I thought they would think I was creepy. I’ll have to think of something that won’t give off that vibe.

If you think something will be creepy, don't say it. But use your own judgment, not random information from the internet.

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4 hours ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

The dating sites never worked for me I don’t know why. 

Well it's good you keep trying and trying different avenues to date. 

Consider joining some clubs and groups and volunteering and getting a side hustle and broadening your horizons to meet people. Most importantly, once you relax and just be yourself, you'll have better luck than using "dating coach" tactics.

 

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Dating sites are not supposed to "work for you".  Dating sites are one of many ways to make a first contact with a potential date.  It's a tool.  A matchmaker you hire is supposed to "work for you."  Dating requires a thick skin.  Use a dating site to make a first contact.  Then meet in person ASAP to see if you should go on an actual date.  Once you meet in person the only "work" the site did was make it possible to initially connect.  

Nothing to do with others being "better looking".  There are many men who are better looking than my husband.  Many women who are better looking than me.  I knew this to be true from when I decided "this is my person".  I was done shopping.  I didn't care if I met people every day who were better looking than my husband.  Or if I noticed because I'm not blind that there were attractive people around me who might be seen as better looking than my husband.  That's not how most people -with exceptions -go about deciding who they are into, who they want to know better at least maybe after age 12 or so. 

When I was dating (dated for 25 years on and off) if I met three guys I didn't go by "ok who's the best looking who is interested in me -and then I'll choose him."  Far far more nuanced.  It was "ok so of the three men two asked me out, and one called but hasn't asked me out.  Of those two I feel like I have more in common with one.  So I'll prioritize meeting number one, then if number two calls I can see then.  And if number three shows up later and there's a good reason he waited so long to call me I'll see. 

Yes.  If I was more physically attracted to one than the other that mattered.  But physical attraction and looks might overlap to an extent -might -but it's not about physical features unless the person is looking for arm candy/trophy/needs someone objectively hot to build up his or her ego.  

I actually wouldn't reach out again to this woman but once is fine. Then stop.  Too much and it starts to be harassing or highly annoying.  

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You're approaching this like a combination calculus problem and book report. People aren't a formula to solve with steps. If you haven't seen it, I recommend your watch the 90's movie Groundhog Day. Bill Murray gets trapped in the same day over and over so he decides to use that to try to get together up with a woman he is interested in. So each day he learns one thing she likes, applies it the next day but it all fails because it's not who he is and she always figures out he is just faking it. 

You make some sweeping statements about what women like, which aren't true. Male or female, we are all individuals. Before any more dating apps or activities, it would be best that you join activity groups such as meet up or a regular volunteer position in order to get used to being around women just to learn to talk to them genuinely as individuals rather than formula bait.

 

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Women do not want a "rude alpha male". That is terrible advice.

I hope you never gave any of those "dating coaches" or "advice" sites any money. They are not designed to help you but rather exist to get money from you.

Joining groups for whatever things you're interested in is better than swiping on Tinder. You will meet real women who are into the same things you are.

What are your interests and hobbies?

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10 hours ago, Ugly_Duckling said:

Yes I’ve been on Tinder also Bumble and all the main dating sites. Yea your right you get matched on Tinder and they still don’t respond. I thought Virtual Speed Dating would be different but I guess not.

How about POF?  I know many are on there as well.  I've never gone onto these ones.. but I don't want to be connected to a ton of sites either.  Maybe just set up a profile then tour it daily... I do that, just tour & expect nothing 🙂 .

Have you joined a 'local singles' group in your area?  We have one, although very slow atm.  We used to do movie nights, meet at local coffee shops weekly, etc.

Even join a sport or something.. don't look for a date at a grocery store, lol.  That's where majority are just there as necessary then leave.

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7 hours ago, Jibralta said:

It doesn't matter. It's easy to put them together.

Yes. Articles like that feed off of and into your stress about the situation. It's a vicious cycle.

If you think something will be creepy, don't say it. But use your own judgment, not random information from the internet.

I was writing this on my phone yesterday so i had to do alot of scrolling and loosing the comments i was previously responding to. Im on my ipad now so its all good.

Yea im done with those articles now but i havent contacted the girl yet. I was thinking about around 5. I hope my mind doesnt go blank and I forget everything.

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7 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Well it's good you keep trying and trying different avenues to date. 

Consider joining some clubs and groups and volunteering and getting a side hustle and broadening your horizons to meet people. Most importantly, once you relax and just be yourself, you'll have better luck than using "dating coach" tactics.

 

I actually thought about volunteering for 2022 to meet new friends and get out. So im currently looking into some places. Im apart of some walkiing and hiking meetups. So far even though there based in my state alot of hikes are out of state. So im looking for stuff close by.

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