full-hope Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 i don't know what to do. of course i understand that there's a mental reason to why, and she says it started with her grandfather's death, stress from her mom about college and orchestra. the main reason was because she wanted to get excercise in the winter, but couldn't, so she started not to eat. so this problem has been happening from December. She's thinner than a supermodel(i think less than 100 lbs, 5'4"-5'6"), and still claims she's fat and i'm thin(i'm not really). all my friends are concerned, so i was the spokesperson of our group and told our counseler to ask her counselor to help her. Something went wrong(mentioning specifics which i didn't want mentioned) and her mother thinks that we're crazy, because she's "eating" dinner and breakfast. she throws out her breakfasts and tries to skip dinner. Her symptoms are probably all that are listed in the books. She refuses that it's not bad. An example would be that she would eat if she got pregnant...which might not happen since, her menstral cycle's off. my friends and i(especially) have been trying to support her, but it's impossible to, because she keeps making up lies. I don't know what to do. it's almost summer, and i'm afraid she'll do worse things. Please help Link to comment
Hitman Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 my ex gf was anorexic before she was my gf. i knew her still though. i can tell you that from what i hear she is anorexic or bulimic. her parents obviously arnt aware of whats going on or refuse to believe it. if shes anorexic/bulimic shes going to obviously deny it. its awesome that you guys have realized whats going on, anorexia/bulimia is serious. you guys need to help her. it will be hard, trust me, ive been through it but youll be thankful you helped her. talk to the guidance counselor more, ask her what you should do, she can put you into contact with people that will be able to further help you. you can post back on here if you want, good luck! Link to comment
Strange_One Posted May 29, 2005 Share Posted May 29, 2005 Make sure you don't ever approach her accusingly. Try to see things from her point of view - she's trying to take control. I've had several problems with EDs and self-injnury in the past, and I know that I was instantly defensive and angry if someone approached me the wrong way about it. Good luck...I really hope you can get her back on track before it starts getting too serious. Link to comment
full-hope Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 having sex? oh, no. we were talking about if this thing will go on if she became an adult, and got married and stuff. no, she's not having sex. i have been to my guidence counselor numerous times, and the last time i went, was a disaster. she refuses to go her guidance counselor; she doesn't like to talk to adults. i offered me going with her, but she won't talk to anyone. only a hand full of her friends know about her not eating. at lunch, the others who don't know ask, but she tells them she had a big lunch. then some tries to insist that she should still eat a little something, but she pretends she needs to go to the bathroom or get something from her locker. so we have no clue what to do. she got sick this week, and has been falling asleep in class more than usual. Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 be there for your friend and let her know how much you care. let her know she's beautiful. if you have to, TELL SOMEONE ABOUT HER. you could be saving her. check out this site, i think it can help her link removed take care Link to comment
Hitman Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 wow, this is sounding pretty serious. it doesnt sound like anyone is listening and thats not good. you need to find a/some adult(s) who will understand and help you. sometimes its hard to be heard as kids, keep doing your best though. Link to comment
full-hope Posted May 30, 2005 Author Share Posted May 30, 2005 well, my list of adults that i've talked to is mostly past teachers (present guidance couselor, former g.c, 7th grade eng teacher, a speaker at an anorexia lecture we had, my parents, and i think my 8th math teacher) their suggestions haven't really been working. She manages to find loopholes in my suggestions. my other friend got numbers to call, but she said it kept doing the "if you'd like to....press 1. if you.....press 2" thing, so we gave up on the clinics. i'm pretty sure she's anorexic, cuz she said she tried purging, and it feels funny; plus she lives in a small house so everyone will hear. anyways, i appreciate everyone's help. Thank you so much!! Link to comment
Hitman Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 For the most part, your right. You cant help someone with an addiction until thier at least a little bit willing to help themselves. Anorexia in my experience however is different. Almost all of the time, they dont want to admit that anythings wrong, no matter how much time you give it and how much you talk to them. Because its an entirely psychological problem, it takes an extremely strong and self aware person to admit they have anorexia. My ex-gf went through the same thing in the beginning. She wouldnt listen to me or any of her friends. Luckily her parents were smart enough to realize what was happening and take action. They sent her to a resort type of thing for girls with anorexia. She was furious at her parents and everyone else, wouldnt even talk to them. In the end when she got better, she realized how serious the whole thing was and apologized to everyone. Chances are excellent this girl isnt going to admit her anorexia and ask you to help her, you have to save her. Anorexia can be extremely detrimental to her health. One of the most important things for you to do i think is to get her parents to realize that thier daughter is anorexic and they have to do something. Since the girl isnt cooperating, without her parents cooperation and awareness, nothing is going to be done about this. Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted June 2, 2005 Share Posted June 2, 2005 well, my list of adults that i've talked to is mostly past teachers (present guidance couselor, former g.c, 7th grade eng teacher, a speaker at an anorexia lecture we had, my parents, and i think my 8th math teacher) their suggestions haven't really been working. She manages to find loopholes in my suggestions. my other friend got numbers to call, but she said it kept doing the "if you'd like to....press 1. if you.....press 2" thing, so we gave up on the clinics. i'm pretty sure she's anorexic, cuz she said she tried purging, and it feels funny; plus she lives in a small house so everyone will hear. anyways, i appreciate everyone's help. Thank you so much!! tell all of those people that SHE NEEDS HELP, make sure they do something about it. let them know how serious it is. don't give up! Link to comment
full-hope Posted June 8, 2005 Author Share Posted June 8, 2005 Little update. her mom is thinking that something's wrong, but she's not thinking anorexia. She's thinking lyme-disease...... my friend's been having headaches, and taking a lot of pain-killers. she's also getting tired often. but i looked it up, and those weren't really the symptoms.... am i missing something? those are clearly anorexia symptoms, but i don't understand how it fits into lyme disease. And wouldn't her mom think anorexia first since it was a concern before? i'm not able to really do anything right now, cuz i'm stuck on finals, and she always avoids the subject, or reaches for food, and clenches/curls her lips, making it obvious that she's avoiding food/resisting it. i don't know what's happening at home now, cuz the darn counselor pulled the plug on our trust. Link to comment
thisisnotanexit Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 continue to keep an eye on her. don't let her take too many pills or anything. keep trying to get her help no matter what! Link to comment
Hitman Posted June 8, 2005 Share Posted June 8, 2005 parents can often be in denial just as much as the kids. its a sad thing to see. keep trying to help her though. Link to comment
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