My first love

[KayKay_]

Hi people! What would you do in this situation? I'm a 17 years old boy. I have never had a girlfriend. I have same classes 3 times a week with a girl, who I really like. I like her, because she is so kind, but I don't know, is she kind with everyone, or with me a little more. We talk a lot in person after the classes, online not so much. We talk about mainly school stuff. I talk to her, and know her since 2 and a half week. I had meet her friends too. We took a part of a competiton in the same group in the first week with her friends, so we were in the same team. I asked her, and she liked it. When we talk, we make eye contact, she rarely looks away, and then back. We haven't touch each other, we just say hi, when we meet. I can go really close to her, to her personal space. So the things are looking good, but when I asked her in the second week, what is she doing at the weekend ( I made a hint, to make a date ), she answered, that she has lot of things to do at the weekend, and she will be busy. I was sad a little bit, but then next monday I asked her second time, if she is busy before christmas. She said that, she is travelling with her family that time. I dont know, that she really dont want me, or she is indeed busy. Online I asked her in the first week, that she want to talk, she said yes. But in the second week, after the second "reject" I asked her once more. She responded on the next day after school, that she was busy. She felt sorry. I really dont know if she likes me, I am sure, that I really love her.

[Wiseman2]

Wait until after the holidays. So far you're doing ok.

[Rose Mosse]

Slow down. You have a crush on her. I'd caution you stepping into her personal space so often as that can be extremely annoying. Remain respectful of her personal space and ask her out after the holidays. She's saying she's busy but it doesn't mean it's a rejection. 

You could have led into an invitation to hang out or go out together to see whether she's interested in spending time with you outside of school. Lower your expectations and don't put her on a pedestal. I think you're building yourself up and then talking yourself down too quickly. 

 

[junebug123]

7 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

I think you're building yourself up and then talking yourself down too quickly. 

 

Yeah, it’s cool to crush on people, but don’t get too invested in the feelings otherwise it will just get exhausting for you in the long run.

[Andrina]

If you're the one always making the effort for your interactions, you should allow her to be the first one to seek you out sometimes, to get a better gauge on if the interest is mutual or one-sided.

I don't know what kind of hint you gave for a date. I only know that whenever I was interested in a guy and was truly busy about the timeframe he asked about, I would definitely suggest an alternate date when I was free. Never double ask, in my opinion, because that's putting a person on the spot when they said no the first time. For me, the ball is in their court to ask you if they originally said no. If your hint wasn't clear, you can certainly try one more time if you see any future behavior that suggests she is interested. Just make sure the next time is not a hint and a clear invitation.

[lostandhurt]

Yes please slow down.  You have a crush, not love but that is okay.

 The problem I see is you are asking open ended questions.  Give her some space and when you are back in school after the holidays ask her on a date.  Don't be vague like "Do you want to hang out sometime?"  That is not clear enough and when is sometime anyways?

 On Thursday ask her if she wants to go see a certain movie this weekend.  Make sure you have one or two you would like to go see and ask her.  At 17 hopefully you have a car you can use. If she declines because she has plans and doesn't offer another day/time then you need to start accepting she isn't into you like you are her.  It happens even if she is nice to you it doesn't mean she is into you like that.

Lost