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How do I create a successful dating profile?


PillowPuck
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Hey again,

In terms of photos, I am a fan of the across the table coffee shot as your main photo. Go out to a nice cafe with a friend, order coffee, and have them take a photo across the table. Psychologically, it creates the inference of the first date/meet while also offering a good image. For additional photos, you don't necessarily need photos of you as long as the reflect your stated interests and hobbies. If you like hiking, post a photo of a vista you visited; if you are into reading science books, a stack of your favorites. Don't go overboard, 2-3 photos for these apps is fine. 

21 hours ago, PillowPuck said:

And whenever I download these apps, I usually give up 24-48 hours later, wait a few days, and then create a new account.

Beyond being a waste of money paying for a month subscription only to abandon it after a few days, how do you even do this when both apps specifically link to your phone or social media to prevent multiple accounts? 

That aside, you also realise that the algorithm is set up to display active accounts over time, so chances are you will not even pop up for many users, and there is no chance for women who use the app in intervening periods, even if you have swiped right for them.

Finally, you never answered who you swipe right for? Is it 1 in 20, 1 in 50? What are you distance and age range settings? Again, taking the totality of your posts, there seems to be something off around your stories. 

T

Edited by WaywardKiwi
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On 12/21/2021 at 7:47 PM, WaywardKiwi said:

That aside, you also realise that the algorithm is set up to display active accounts over time, so chances are you will not even pop up for many users, and there is no chance for women who use the app in intervening periods, even if you have swiped right for them.

Could you please elaborate on this part? Maybe in much simpler terms for my ***?

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On 12/21/2021 at 11:34 PM, Tinydance said:

All dating takes work and I really get the sense from all your posts that you just don't WANT to put in any effort. I'm sorry but you don't and that really comes across.

I agree with this completely. I think you need a bit of an attitude and priority adjustment. You always come on to ENA and tell us the same story just with a change in characters - there’s this girl[s] at work, you believe she fancies you a bit because she is friendly and, you think, flirty towards you. You are thinking of asking her out, but you want to hedge your bets with the girl from the previous week, often noted as ‘girl A’, ‘girl B’ so on and so forth.

We all give you advice at your request, only to, inevitably, be told why such advice wouldn’t work. Before long, you disappear and we none of us have any idea if the topic was actually resolved. Only, we do know - we know you did nothing about it, even when promising that this time there will be follow through. 

A few weeks later, you write another, almost identical post. And the same whole process begins again. This time was slightly different though, you introduced the idea of internet dating, only, you haven’t changed your attitude at all. You want a woman to literally fall into your lap, be conveniently attractive, in the age bracket you prefer, and into you like sugar and cinnamon are destined for a doughnut, with little to no effort on your part, other than being the “unsuspecting” recipient of being in the right place at the right time when such a woman lands on you and just so happens to think you are the bees knees half a conversation in.

take some initiative and put in a bit more effort, because even if such a woman did just land in your lap, you radiate disinterest in making a proper effort towards actively dating. Keep doing the same thing will only result on the same outcome time and again.

Edited by LotusBlack
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9 hours ago, LotusBlack said:

I agree with this completely. I think you need a bit of an attitude and priority adjustment. You always come on to ENA and tell us the same story just with a change in characters - there’s this girl[s] at work, you believe she fancies you a bit because she is friendly and, you think, flirty towards you. You are thinking of asking her out, but you want to hedge your bets with the girl from the previous week, often noted as ‘girl A’, ‘girl B’ so on and so forth.

We all give you advice at your request, only to, inevitably, be told why such advice wouldn’t work. Before long, you disappear and we none of us have any idea if the topic was actually resolved. Only, we do know - we know you did nothing about it, even when promising that this time there will be follow through. 

A few weeks later, you write another, almost identical post. And the same whole process begins again. This time was slightly different though, you introduced the idea of internet dating, only, you haven’t changed your attitude at all. You want a woman to literally fall into your lap, be conveniently attractive, in the age bracket you prefer, and into you like sugar and cinnamon are destined for a doughnut, with little to no effort on your part, other than being the “unsuspecting” recipient of being in the right place at the right time when such a woman lands on you and just so happens to think you are the bees knees half a conversation in.

take some initiative and put in a bit more effort, because even if such a woman did just land in your lap, you radiate disinterest in making a proper effort towards actively dating. Keep doing the same thing will only result on the same outcome time and again.

Interestingly, though, he has no trouble getting female coworkers to "hook up" with him.

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9 hours ago, LotusBlack said:

. . . you introduced the idea of internet dating, only, you haven’t changed your attitude at all. You want a woman to literally fall into your lap, be conveniently attractive, in the age bracket you prefer, and into you like sugar and cinnamon are destined for a doughnut, with little to no effort on your part, other than being the “unsuspecting” recipient of being in the right place at the right time when such a woman lands on you and just so happens to think you are the bees knees half a conversation in.

lol you just described dating sites in a nutshell and why we all hate them.

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29 minutes ago, PillowPuck said:

Still waiting on this by the way…

If you keep disabling your profile and/or creating new profiles your profile will not pop up as a suggested profile for the women who are searching.

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On 12/29/2021 at 5:46 AM, PillowPuck said:

Could you please elaborate on this part? Maybe in much simpler terms for my ***?

I think Kiwi wanted to say that, well, if you swipe on somebody you like and then deactivate the profile, you wont even show up in their search so they literally cant swipe you back. You will show up in their "likes" but they cant swipe back. So you are literally c-blocking yourself lol

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On 12/29/2021 at 1:46 PM, PillowPuck said:

Could you please elaborate on this part? Maybe in much simpler terms for my ***?

Hey Puck,

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vox.com/platform/amp/2019/2/7/18210998/tinder-algorithm-swiping-tips-dating-app-science

This article explains a lot of how the algorithm works, so if you want to understand in depth check it out. 

The TLDR of it all is that Tinder tracks how many swipes you make, and who swipes for you, over time, and use that info the decide whether you will appear for other users. If you are only active for a few days, you won't build up any "rating" as such, and you will not appear to users who do have a high "rating" (or you will appear very low on the list, so they won't see you.  The first flurry of profiles you see are usually new users, or people with low activity. 

That's my understanding, as someone who met his wife on Tinder. 

T

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