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Relationship money question


Isthisbetter
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I’m new here so please be gentle if this is not the right format and whatnot. I’ve been dating my SO since this spring. It was around the time I was ousted from my job. My SO said they had a garage full of handmade furniture that I could sell. SO said, “If you want to sell and market the furniture, you can have 100% of the profits.” I have this saved as a text message. After months of crafting the body of the Facebook and Craigslist ads for this item, editing them dozens of times, deleting and reposting, reaching out to people who ultimately flaked, editing photos, etc. I finally got someone who was interested. Because it was a male customer, I wanted to have my SO help me haul the table a couple blocks away to a business with a parking lot for safety — and I didn’t want to be hit on. Also, truth be told, my SO has a bunch of random garbage in the driveway and I think it could have left a bad impression or even lost the sale. SO was in a huff the entire time and I didn’t get why. The client didn’t have cash, there was no reception at this business and my SO didn’t have the PayPal app downloaded, so we had to drive back to get the Square stripe reader. We finally got the $100 from the client, but SO only gave me $60 because “he didn’t realize he’d have to do so much heavy lifting.” I feel like I was cheated out of $40. Thoughts?

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42 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I'd let it go. He helped you haul the furniture and actually even gave you the furniture to sell, so it's not like he made no contribution.

I'm sorry but no. He told her she can keep all the profits. I'd be upset too BUT, that's my preference in what a man should do for a woman. I like manly men. So, if a boyfriend would hold his labour against me, I'd have to reconsider the relationship. 

He sounds like a penny pincher. Is he? 

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SO said, "If you want to sell and market the furniture, you can have 100% of the profits."

You've saved his text message.

You were cheated out of $40. 

My thoughts?  Since he didn't keep his promise and went against his word, I wonder what else he'll do to you which will leave you disgruntled?  What other parts of his integrity is amiss?  Only time and your patience or lack thereof will tell. 

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2 hours ago, Cherylyn said:

SO said, "If you want to sell and market the furniture, you can have 100% of the profits."

You've saved his text message.

You were cheated out of $40. 

My thoughts?  Since he didn't keep his promise and went against his word, I wonder what else he'll do to you which will leave you disgruntled?  What other parts of his integrity is amiss?  Only time and your patience or lack thereof will tell. 

He sounds stingy with his time and money. No other way to put it. 

I couldn't deal with a penny pincher like that because then everything is tallied up and next thing you know, he's holding it against her in arguments. 

She could have done something nice for him in return - packed his lunch, laundry, ironed his shorts, etc. But no, he decided to take her $40 and call it a day. 

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9 hours ago, Isthisbetter said:

. I’ve been dating my SO since this spring. It was around the time I was ousted from my job. 

How long have you been dating? Let it go. You're better off getting your resume updated and finding appropriate work.

This is way too much too soon. How do you support yourself? Do you live with your parents? It's unrealistic to expect 100 % profit if all you did was place an ad on Craigslist.

Today start looking for appropriate jobs. 

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He said that OP can keep all the proceeds, if she shoulders the whole operation. In the end he still ended up carrying around the furniture and going back and forth for the Square Stripe app. He is entitled of a share of the proceeds, because OP could not have realised the deal without him. 

OP, if you cannot forgo 40$ and they seem worthy of starting a thread on forum, this signals neon red strongly, that it is high time for you to find a job. If you gained 4 000$/month, some 40$ would not be an issue at all.  

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6 minutes ago, East4 said:

He said that OP can keep all the proceeds, if she shoulders the whole operation. In the end he still ended up carrying around the furniture and going back and forth for the Square Stripe app. He is entitled of a share of the proceeds, because OP could not have realised the deal without him. 

OP, if you cannot forgo 40$ and they seem worthy of starting a thread on forum, this signals neon red strongly, that it is high time for you to find a job. If you gained 4 000$/month, some 40$ would not be an issue at all.  

^This exactly. Even if you posted some ads, he ultimately had to get involved and spend his time to help you complete the sale. On top of that, you didn't take care to figure out payment ahead of time and so you had to go back and forth, which added to more time and irritation.

That said, paying himself for time spent is a bit passive aggressive. He could have let you know that his time will cost you ahead of time so you can figure things out better or simply told you that you are on your own with it. Also, I think you are being a bit greedy, maybe out of desperation, but he is giving you something of his to sell for free, then you are asking for his time to complete the deal and then you are angry he took a portion of profit. I don't think you have much right to be upset. It's generous he is even trying to help out at all. He doesn't have to lift a finger.

Anyway, if I were you, I'd focus more on getting a job that actually pays than bickering over $40.00

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17 minutes ago, gamon said:

You haven't worked since Spring. Who pays when you go out on dates?

 

 

If she looks like her profile pic, I doubt she has to pay for anything. 

It's strange she is bothered by it and it's strange he asked for a commission. Probably they both need to find a better job. 

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1 hour ago, dias said:

If she looks like her profile pic, I doubt she has to pay for anything. 

It's strange she is bothered by it and it's strange he asked for a commission. Probably they both need to find a better job. 

I doubt it's really about the $40, but more the growing tensions and resentments if the OP hasn't been employed in so long and he has had to shoulder things solo. (Assuming they are living together) When couples squabble over something seemingly trivial, there are usually much bigger elephants sitting around the room that need to be addressed and aired out.

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27 minutes ago, DancingFool said:

I doubt it's really about the $40, but more the growing tensions and resentments if the OP hasn't been employed in so long and he has had to shoulder things solo. (Assuming they are living together) When couples squabble over something seemingly trivial, there are usually much bigger elephants sitting around the room that need to be addressed and aired out.

I agree with this. 

OP, as I was reading your post, I felt the resentment your bf must feel, and a sense of entitlement from you. 

If I were financially supporting you, and offered to let you sell MY stuff and keep the profit, I would at minimum expect that you would handle it yourself. Your explanation for needing his help sounds more like an excuse. Honestly, if I were him, this relationship would be hanging on by a thread. It seems like it might be, seeing as he’s chosen to passive aggressively keep $40 instead of telling you to get your sh*t together and support yourself.

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One reason I've only very casually tried to sell items like a jogging stroller is because time is money, I have safety concerns and I can only sell to someone who will come to the house and put it in their car.  I think your bf was unreasonable and I think you should have planned better as far as all the related tasks around selling furniture.

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1 hour ago, indea08 said:

I agree with this. 

OP, as I was reading your post, I felt the resentment your bf must feel, and a sense of entitlement from you. 

If I were financially supporting you, and offered to let you sell MY stuff and keep the profit, I would at minimum expect that you would handle it yourself. Your explanation for needing his help sounds more like an excuse. Honestly, if I were him, this relationship would be hanging on by a thread. It seems like it might be, seeing as he’s chosen to passive aggressively keep $40 instead of telling you to get your sh*t together and support yourself.

These are all assumptions. 

We don't know that he's supporting her. We don't know if they live together. We don't know if he foots her bills. 

Maybe she is supporting herself. Maybe she isn't. We know almost nothing about their scenario asides for the furniture deal. 

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Considering you're not working, taking that $40 seems quite cruel. Is he in need?

It's not necessarily the amount but the considerations and principle. 

I think you might want to rethink whether there are simmering anger and resentments over other aspects of your relationship. What are you doing about your personal/employment situation? Did you move in with him or have you asked him for any favours or cash/help with bills?

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The original agreement was for OP, Isthisbetter  to keep the entire $100 amount.

My thoughts are this:  He doesn't treat you with respect.  He made a promise yet had no qualms reneging upon his word. 

He broke your trust in him. 

Whenever I think of anyone in my life,  I think about that person and say this in my mind:  "I don't trust you."  Will this person disappoint me again?  Yes.  Will this person hurt me again?  Yes, it's highly likely.  Does this person lack integrity?  Yes.  Can I have a relationship with this person while distrusting him (or in other cases her)?  Yes.  However, it will be a relationship (or in other cases, friendship) filled with deep seeded distrust, tension and anxiety.  Neither makes a blissfully harmonious rapport. 

He's a real deal breaker.  If I were you, I'd prefer a man of the highest moral character.  Anyone else doesn't qualify nor deserve to be in your life IMHO. 

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