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What to do when a girl coworker likes my man?


Lapicuda
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10 hours ago, Lovkim said:

 girl coworker of his added herself to his IG without permission. 

How long have you been dating? How old is he?

It seems like you already know this is a BS story he made up to quell your jealous and snooping.

"Your" man is thirsty for her. He added her.

 

Edited by Wiseman2
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Agree with all others. He shouldn't "confront" her.  If -big if- she added him, it was over when he blocked her.  Not his place to tell a subordinate she cannot add him unless she was using company computers for personal use and this is breaking a rule and this is enforced by him.  Then he simply reminds her that she shouldn't be on IG at work.  She did nothing wrong if she added him.  It's a free country.  You see it as "disrespectful" but that's because you're projecting your own insecurities and issues with your bf onto her. 

I go out of my way not to friend the spouses of my friends on Facebook (or their teenage kids for that matter) unless I am friends with both in real life and it's otherwise ok but if I did -no biggie -just in a huge abundance of caution I figure why bother just in case it's not appropriate. 

I would never ever expect to be confronted by anyone just because I put a friend request out to a man I knew or worked with other than if it was inappropriate work wise (in my job I have only Facebook friended one colleague who I work with directly -a woman -and the female spouse of a man I work with).  You're way out of bounds here.  Guess who else is out of bounds -your boyfriend.  Enough is enough.  Right?

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My husband has female colleagues on his FB and male ones too. He has some of my female friends on there too but they are friends with him in real life as well. Due to my husband’s work he is extremely aware of what is appropriate or not . I am secure that he is with me and because I feel secure I don’t have a need to control his actions and life. 
 

Find out why you feel so insecure. 

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9 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Hon, you need to wake the hell up. 

He's not going to confront her. Why not? Because she didn't add herself. He added her, and then fed you some absurd excuse when you saw she was following him and got upset.

You keep tolerating his crappy behaviour and badly wanting to believe his lies. We can't help you when you refuse to help yourself. 

This ^^^. totally.

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The women/girls he works with are not the ones crossing boundaries or anything. It's your BF that is being flirty, chummy, and has relaxed boundaries, acting inappropriately at work. They are not the enemy! Take those rose colored glasses off. He's the one being all thirsty. No brainer girl, you need to punt him to the curb.

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On 12/13/2021 at 6:30 PM, Fudgie said:

I'm sorry but I'm calling b-b-b-b-BS here. You really don't believe him, do you? 

He "likes to keep private" but yet he's letting a subordinate at work use his phone to look up another girls page..? Wha...? Someone who is more private and cagey with their phone is going to let some random coworker use their phone, especially to the point that they:

log out of his IG (via app or mobile web), log into her own IG (which usually requires two-factor auth, btw), find him on IG, send him a follow request, log him BACK into his account (if she logged him out to get into her account) and then go in and accept her own request.

That would take a little time to do and, frankly, I just don't believe it.

I think he added her, you found out, he acted dumb, and told you this story. Your anger is misplaced. The world is full of thirsty t**** (female and male) but your boyfriend is not powerless. He is not adrift in the sea, subject to the calls of sirens against his will. He is a grown-a___ man who is in control of his choices and actions. It's on him to ignore thirsty girls. 

There is always opportunity to cheat or act inappropriately. The opportunity is not the reason for the wrong-doing, the fault lies with the cheater.

I don't hand my boyfriend my phone, let alone an employee.   Anything is possible I suppose. But this is a serious stretch, especially considering previous history.

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