This is Messing with my head

[lostandhurt]

I am sure your phone is capable of blocking a number and if you cannot figure out how to  make that happen I am sure there are several youtube videos out there to help.

Deleting him from your life is on you, not your phone of social media but ridding yourself of him in all forms will make it easier to weather the times when you are weak.

If today is the deadline then lets get to blocking and deleting.

  Lost

[reinventmyself]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Go through all your messaging apps, social media, contact lists and devices and delete and block him.

The longer you pursue an unhealthy fantasy, the longer you'll feel bad.

check your phone bill.   all the history is there.

Be honest with yourself.  If you wanted to block him, you will find a way.

[reinventmyself]

google *emotional intermittent reinforcement

It's the same principle behind gambling.  You get the high from pulling the handle on the slot machine and when it stops paying off the disappointment keeps you hanging, pulling that handle hoping for the same high you received previously.

At some point you need to realize that the payoff never equals the investment.  Your interactions with him clearly leaves you in an emotional deficit, brinking on bankruptcy.

[Andrina]

On 12/12/2021 at 3:02 PM, Anna2983 said:

I find it hard to connect with people

I figured there must be a reason you chose the hardest way of dating there is--long distance. It's like in the back of your mind, you probably are afraid of the reality of real dating, which is getting together in person. 6 hours is really a hardship for people who work, and especially if they have children, to logistically make this sort of dating situation satisfying. It's just not logical to date long distance unless you live in an extremely small town with zero prospects.

On 12/14/2021 at 12:08 PM, Anna2983 said:

Well, I'm more of an introvert and sometimes I can be socially awkward, so socialising and meeting new people can be a challenge.

For fun? Well, baking, reading, writing...

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, but letting it go to the extremes where it negatively impacts your life is not good. When you don't have a social outlet besides a love interest, it will be smothering to your love interest that he's the sole center of your universe. And breakups are more devastating when you don't have a fulfilling life besides having a bf. 

The more you practice something, the better you get at it. You could do volunteer work with the elderly and chat with them. There are lots of lonely people in nursing homes who would love a visitor to talk to.

Just because you're uncomfortable with something like joining a social group doesn't mean you shouldn't. There are lots of things people are uncomfortable with but have to power through, like job interviews, starting a new job, learning a new computer program, going on a first date. Start thinking of that feeling as normal and that you'll get past it with practice.

Sounds like you need to get to a better place mentally before being able to date wisely, making better choices for yourself. I don't know what you do about your mental health, but if nothing, you should be seeking out professional help or you'll continue this negative pattern of hiding behind a screen and attracting the wrong people.

Vow to date locally, and cut off men who aren't ready to meet within two weeks of chatting. It's good to have standards and think of yourself as the treasure. If the guy doesn't treat you as the special person you are, immediately move on. If you can't do that, you need to be alone until you can treat yourself with self-love.

[boltnrun]

8 minutes ago, Andrina said:

There are lots of things people are uncomfortable with but have to power through

For example, I used to HATE, HATE, HATE speaking in front of a crowd. I told everyone it was my biggest phobia (aside from heights and snakes). But then I got a job with a cruise line that required me to, you guessed it, speak in front of groups. Multiple times each day. I wanted the job so I faked it until soon enough I didn't have to fake it anymore. And a few years later I ended up in a career where the job description is literally speaking in front of groups and I love it.

So if you want a more fulfilling life you will likely have to force yourself out of your comfort zone, at least temporarily. It will be worth it.

[smackie9]

 

What you were doing was coping in ways that were detrimental to your emotional health. When that happens, it's way too difficult to stop the cycle and things just keep getting darker. You know the stove it hot and it will cause you pain, but you keep touching it over and over hoping for a different outcome.

Maybe try to find some self help books on ways to "cope" with whatever arises in your life in healthier ways. It's easy and low cost, all you have to do is invest your time to it.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope we can give you some light in your life at least to get you started on your journey to better mental health. 🙂

[angelpie]

I'm so sorry about your mother. Take it from someone in her 60s who has "been there, done that." This guy is not who he says he is, and he has no intention of ever meeting you. He probably has several girls on the line. I hope you've never sent him any money.

I know how hard it is to let go, trust me, I'm going through this myself, but please try to move on with your life. Block him and leave him blocked. He's not good for you.

❤️