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Can someone explain the reasoning behind why my ex this did? (after No contact for 6 months)


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Hi everyone.
Thanks again for all the support on the last posts, you have no idea how grateful I was to receive the responses, they are truly so helpful during a breakup, or times of uncertainty in a relationship.
Any-who, I mentioned in my last post that me and my ex boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up in August.
So, upon taking a lot of your advice, and thanks again for the uplifting spirits and positivity, I moved on. We went no contact, cold turkey. I haven't spoken to him since August.

I didn't block him anywhere or anything, the breakup was quite amicable, he even told me that he loves me when we were breaking up (now that i'm thinking about that I want to puke), and both told each other that we are there for each other if anything. But, what was disturbing was that he did it on Facetime, thats right, a 3.5 year relationship, he ended it on FT. He didn't even have the morals to come to breakup in person.
For about 2 weeks after the relationship ended, I embarrassingly kept tabs on his instagram, looking here and there on his followings/followers. Then, lo and behold, I saw that he exchanged some likes with another girl. When I saw that, I instantly was disgusted in myself, and disgusted that I saw him liking some girls' pics, and consequently blocked him on every social media. I blocked him not because I hate him or am so angry with him, no, it's just I politely did not want to keep looking at him or keep him around in my feed. After all, he did tell me "I think it's best if we move on, after all I have been interested to talk to other people". Yep, the heartbreak was real. I then saw that he blocked me on social media as well, I guess in spite or whatever.

Anyways... I took time to myself since August, really to myself. I haven't dated anyone, or entertained a potential relationship, because quite honestly, I'm not ready. I want to take more time to heal, grow, and be a better person. I am struggling with a lot of insecurities that my relationship left me with, and I want to resolve them myself, without any guy involved.

About like 2 weeks ago or so, my ex messages me on Instagram of his friend's private story (so i can't see it because his friend is private), and he messages me through some group chat we made back when we were together, and GET THIS, he was blocked, but he somehow still found his way to that group chat... and that group chat only had me and him on it, so he was clearly trying to get my attention. To be the bigger person, I am not ready to be in contact with him, also he sent such a cryptic message, that I simply just left that groupchat, and saw that he unblocked me... perhaps to reconcile? Idk. But i blocked him because as I said, im simply not ready or have any desire to communicate with this person. 

Yesterday, my girl cousin messages me a screenshot of my ex requesting to follow her on Instagram... now he wants to follow my cousin? and during the relationship, I always told him about how i felt uncomfortable about him and her because there was some kind of tension, and I asked (totally normally without any problems) about if there was attraction between the two of them, because I sensed some flirtation, something I never felt with my other friends. He didn't say there was. Now the thing with my cousin is that there is NO WAY he would know her unless it was for me. they live in different neighborhoods, i trust my cousin would tell me if they ever met (we're close), and etc. He literally was at my birthday parties, at family gatherings, and all three of us hung out before, so he knows her only through me... Its such a slap in the face... out of all the girls, ALL OF THE GIRLS out there, he wanted to follow my cousin and open a portal of communication with her, especially after I'd tell him about how uncomfortable those interactions made me?

Idk man, it's just so disturbing... its such a slap in the face and I truly wanted to know from someone if they can share with me what they think these things he's doing are for. What do y'all think? what are the reasonings behind his actions?

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This is why you need to delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Also see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Including an assessment of the chronic nausea, vomiting, anxiety and depression.

Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

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Perhaps he thinks he has a shot at your cousin, now. You probably overlooked the jerky side of him because you loved him, since he was flirting with your cousin. Well, now you know the real him. By the cruel way he broke up. By his insensitive actions since. He absolutely did you a favor by breaking up. Now you're free to find a decent man when you're ready. And if your cousin allows him to follow her, know that she isn't the person you thought she was either. Hopefully, she won't be another person who fails you.

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he's desperate and he is hoping to get his ego stroked.

you said you are ready to be the bigger person.  Don't do it! If you're always being the bigger person, you need to ask yourself, why are you around so many little people?

Raise your standards, don't look back. 

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My ex used to circle back and bug our mutual friends about me whenever he got into a fight with the woman he'd dumped me for.

It's not because he just loves you so darn much.  It's because he wants attention and possibly sex.  For himself, not for your benefit.

Block, block, block!  And tell your friends and family members to stop telling you gossip about him. 

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12 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Block, block, block!  And tell your friends and family members to stop telling you gossip about him. 

the funniest thing was that I already blocked him and all his friends and ppl who have connections to him... he still managed a way to circle back into my life :'). Thanks for your advice, I totally agree, I will keep him respectfully far the hell away from me. 

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Thanks everyone for your advice, really helpful, and allowed me to understand truly where he was coming from. I knew I wasn't delusional in thinking that this was his way to strike emotion out of me, I suppose I really was so blinded by him that it was bizarre to me how disrespectful someone can be. But definitely opened my eyes a lot about his true character.

With love, 
Throo

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