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Is this a crazy email to send a girl I am in love with that friend zoned me but still says she loves me? I labeled this email as "a dream"


Leelord
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after seeing that picture of you holding that beautiful baby, i just dreamed a little dream. i imagined us.... you very pregnant at the hospital, about to have our child, and i'm there for you, i walk in the room and lean over to kiss you as you're in the bed..holding your hand through the entire process. you tell me in a tired voice, i love you honey, and i say i love you too my dear. and just can't wait to see your smile when you meet our child as it comforts me to see you when you finally meet him and cradle him in your arms, and you giving him kisses and love.  what an amazing mom you will be. 

this is only a dream

Also, I do not mean to be inappropriate there. I just imagined that and since I only live once I wanted to share that. I know this dream will happen for me with the right girl in the future.  I love you as my dear close friend <> and wish you truly the best, and thank you for always being there for me. much love

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Depends on the reason why she wants to just be friends.

Does she have a boyfriend? Did she get out of a recent relationship? 

Always look at her actions, not what she says.

Doesn’t matter if she says she loves you 1000 times, if her actions show she only wants to be friends, then she only wants to be friends.

If I were you and really wanted this girl, I’d definitely change my approach.

When a woman friend zones you and you continue to express romantic feelings, it will only repel her attraction towards you.

It is what it is.

 

 

 

 

Edited by mical
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Yeah... don't send this. It's a nice sentiment, but it really not something to send to her.

It could send her into a bit of a panic and destroy any friendship left. I would also suggest that if she's stated there is no possibility of a romantic relationship, that you begin to distance yourself from her. Gone are the days of persistence in pursuit being rewarded.

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I had a male friend persist in trying to get me to date him even after I'd told him multiple times that I loved him as a friend. I eventually had to end the friendship because he didn't seem to understand or respect my feelings. It's a shame because he's a great guy but he just didn't want to take "no" for an answer.

Please don't send this.

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Don't send it. It's very inappropriate. I think you would do better not sending any emails nor keeping in touch with her. Some distance would be appropriate and respect that the other person doesn't feel the same way about you. 

If this is a dream of yours, save it for the right person down the road.

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No. No. Please no. Do not send it.  It's very inappropriate sending something like that to someone who has friendzoned you.  If you are hoping it would change her mind and somehow make her fall in love with you, you are very mistaken.  It will more likely have the opposite effect and make her block you in every way. It makes one feel very uncomfortable.

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2 hours ago, Leelord said:

you very pregnant at the hospital, about to have our child, and i'm there for you

It's ok  to have a crush, but stalking and sending creepy messages in writing about "having your babies" will alarm her and her parents. 

 If you wish, write your thoughts out and bring them to your therapist. Do not send this. Her parents could take it to the police as proof of stalking.

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You have obsessive thoughts that need to get under control. Everyone has been very kind saying "inappropriate". This would creep her out, and have her running for the hills. Tho your feeling are genuine, doesn't mean it's right. You must get this under control. The healthiest way to deal with situations like this is to block/delete them asap, and move on.

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I just want to say thank you everyone for all of the replies and for the record, No, I did not send that one because of y'alls advice.  She has been my friend for 8 years now and we met playing an online game,  she's come to my city twice for layover flights for her work, and I even spent 12 days in Turkey with her too as she invited me there last year, but it was just friendship even then too. 

When I wrote the "dream" email I was emotionally overwhelmed this morning when seeing pictures of her and her boyfriend on instagram...she looked so happy, and I was happy for her.  And after I reread that email, the emotions for her felt like one last attempt to live the idealistic dream and try to get her to like me. It sounded desperate and unattractive.    

I have tried distancing myself from her, for months or weeks, but she will always eventually reply to my instagram story with a kiss or a heart or something...or lately she has called me twice the past month and we talked for 30min or longer and its always amazing with her... and then right when i'm trying to distance myself from her I fall in love all over again. I focus hard on work to not think about her, but every time I get a message my heart skips a beat, even still.  I know God has a plan for me, and I will meet the right girl.  My last girlfriend was extremely negative and came from a really weird family too.  I have been gun shy over the past 2 years to meet a new girl because of my ex.   

Well, today I feel like I had a breakthrough, I worked out and fasted all day, and have some lbs to lose anyway, so I have some fitness goals I am going to focus on.    I love each and every single one of y'all (in a non obsessive way lol) for the nice replies.    I actually wrote her a nice email right before I thought about sending the baby email and she replied with a heart  (nice but still a sucky reply)  Well, I'm in bed now typing this, and I can't even look at her pictures on my phone, in fact I just deleted like 10 I saw when looking for another old picture of something else :).   Thank you again everyone.   

BELOW is the email I sent her before I typed up the "dream" one. 

Dear sweet <>,

So your post is one of the first I saw this morning on instagram, and I thought I would be crushed to see the picture of you and your bf, but to my surprise I am not at all.  I am so happy to see you are happy.  You are a beautiful soul and I hope he realizes that and I just want to say thank you for just knowing you.  Fate will take its course in my life as well.  

We are all here for a reason. I just have a lot of love to give as a human being, and my heart does choose you, but can you blame me 🙂 I mean, I still do and always will, but know I'm here for you too for anything.  God will send the right person in my life when the time is right too.  You and I have grown as people over these eight years we have known one another too.  I have had an incredibly blessed week and I am extremely happy.   

Sending much love, and I hope you laugh all the time.  I know you are not the type of girl to put up with BS, and protect your ora if the relationship is not healthy.  But seriously, I realized you are my friend, and I am blessed to know you.  I would like to say hi one day again too :).   to both of yall.   My love to <> too.  

Do take care my <>, Always,

Lee

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She has been inappropriate in keeping her friendship with you alive, with her being taken, and the sentiments you wrote to her. If her man read that, he'd be upset. If you wouldn't say something in particular like that message to a person with their partner present, it's wrong. And she's wrong to not cut you off for 2 reasons: One, that she's doing wrong by her man. Two, that freeing you would be what's better for you so you can emotionally move on.

I immediately deleted an old guy friend from my teen years on Facebook when he messaged me a flirty message when he knew I was married. I would hope my partner would do the same when faced with the same situation.

In your shoes, I'd write her a note explaining that you've enjoyed the friendship, but it will now be a hindrance in a future romance that you enter into. If I were your gf and you were communicating with this other woman you wanted so much more from, I'd run to the nearest exit out of your life. You only have so much time and energy to pour out to a special someone, and doing so with the wrong person will leave you just as you are now. Alone and in pain.

Send that message. Ask her that she respect your wishes and stop messaging you. And then block her and delete all your old photos. Many friendships have expiration dates, and this watershed moment is telling you this is the prime time to put an end to this one. Take care.

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