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Friendship Issue


heartbroken84
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#FRIEND_ZONE. HOW TO MOVE FROM FRIE...
#FRIEND_ZONE. HOW TO MOVE FROM FRIEND ZONE TO A MORE #EMOTIONAL CONNECTION

It sounds like you both got a history of slights and drama. When I hear people talk about their "friend" doing and saying x and y to them, I wonder why they stayed "friends" or even remain friends? Is there a shortage of people out there that you are just picking whoever is willing to talk to you?

And are you really doing her a favor if you are expecting compensation for feeding a rabbit? 

I watched an acquittance's dog (a 1 year old Australian shepherd) during thanksgiving week while working from home. And I didn't expect anything in return. Just HOPE... hope that maybe one day if we need their help with my dog they will happily help us without expecting compensation.

I guess I am old school too.

 

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9 hours ago, heartbroken84 said:

I’m not sure why this is my fault. And why I’m the person with behavioural problems. That’s unfair. She’s a manipulator. 

There you go with the finger pointing again. Somehow, this is locked in your brain as either her fault or your fault.

This is the point:

6 hours ago, heartbroken84 said:

I believe everyone can learn from experience and I certainly did. 

Have you learned not to leave chewable items within range of a rodent-like animal yet? Because that's the bottom line here. 

All people have strengths and limitations, including you. All people make mistakes. Everyone is not like you. Debating and complaining about who is wrong doesn't turn back time or repair your pocketbook. If you want to blow up some friendship over this, go ahead and bomb the whole town. It's your life. But it seems a far simpler solution to go onward and upward with your new knowledge about bunny rabbits. Learn from your mistakes. Be more careful with your belongings. Life lessons.

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12 hours ago, heartbroken84 said:

I think it’s really cruel to advise me to stay away from pets due to my ignorance. I believe everyone can learn from experience and I certainly did. 

I meant to say you should stay out of the pet sitting business until and unless you take the time and effort to learn more about the animals you care for and receive compensation for.

A person who believes hey will be assaulted by a domesticated rabbit who destroyed their personal item out of malice and revenge because it's pissed off at the owner for leaving it home alone really has some research to do.

What exactly did you learn? Other than to not leave valuable chewable items within reach of an animal with really big front teeth?

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17 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

Maybe that explains why all my friends and family and neighbors all get along so well and help each other out when needed - no money is ever involved. 🙂

I paid my niece to be my son's part time mother's helper over two summers.  She would have taken another paying job otherwise. I paid extra for her commute too.  The money made it so much better because I needed about 15 hours a week and this way I was able to give her a job reference later because I paid her.  We agreed -easily -on the $ in advance plus I always rounded up if she was there a partial hour.  And this way my son was cared for by his cousin - so awesome.  I'd have felt awful if I hadn't paid her and/or not paid her the going rate.

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45 minutes ago, gamon said:

I meant to say you should stay out of the pet sitting business until and unless you take the time and effort to learn more about the animals you care for and receive compensation for.

A person who believes hey will be assaulted by a domesticated rabbit who destroyed their personal item out of malice and revenge because it's pissed off at the owner for leaving it home alone really has some research to do.

What exactly did you learn? Other than to not leave valuable chewable items within reach of an animal with really big front teeth?

You’re giving me a headache and twisting my words. Please stop responding.

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I do agree that we can't assign human motivations to animal actions. Humans are the only creatures that kill for revenge, obsession or monetary gain, for example. Other animals kill for food, to defend themselves or to protect against perceived threats to their territory. Not because they're mad about being left alone by their caretaker.

My senior cat would throw up on the floor when I left her alone overnight. She didn't do it to "get back at" me, she was literally upset physically by not having me there with her. 

The bunny didn't know that humans assign a high monetary value to a certain bag. She or he just saw something yummy to chew on. It had no idea that it would have been OK for it to chew on a paper towel, for example, instead of your handbag.

Anyway...yes, declining to pet sit going forward is absolutely in your right. If your friend can't find someone else she'll have to either stay home or pay a professional pet sitter. Not your problem.

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17 hours ago, heartbroken84 said:

I never asked for pet sitting compensation. I never asked to be compensated for my purse. Because I live with roommates I never need house or pet sitting so she’s unable to return the favor. I’m not sure, but I no longer trust this person. She was supposed to make arrangements to pick up her house key tonight. But she never texted. She said she needs her keys back and expects me to deliver them to her. I really have no desire to see or speak to her again.

Mail them to her.

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Just now, melancholy123 said:

Mail them to her.

Our mail is so messed up now.  I would not do that.  I would ask her where you can leave the keys outside her home but in a safe space and then try to do so when she is not at home.  Photo of where you left them just in case.

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Just now, Batya33 said:

Our mail is so messed up now.  I would not do that.  I would ask her where you can leave the keys outside her home but in a safe space and then try to do so when she is not at home.  Photo of where you left them just in case.

I wish I could leave the key at her at her home preferably when she is not at home, but she lives in a mildly unsafe area. I really don't feel comfortable interacting with her, but at least she's making effort to pick up her key.

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Just now, heartbroken84 said:

I wish I could leave the key at her at her home preferably when she is not at home, but she lives in a mildly unsafe area. I really don't feel comfortable interacting with her, but at least she's making effort to pick up her key.

Oh ok. I wouldn't mail it other than with a signature required kind of thing.  

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10 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Our mail is so messed up now.  I would not do that.  I would ask her where you can leave the keys outside her home but in a safe space and then try to do so when she is not at home.  Photo of where you left them just in case.

Ok mail is fine here, so I didnt know that.  There are couriers if the OP has no desire to go near that house again.

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