Confused

[Gray92]

Hi, so I was searching where can I find an advice about my “problem” and google brought me here. I hope that someone can help me or tell me what to do. So, here it goes..

There’s this girl that I have a crush on, I see her almost everyday as we work on the same place. At first I wasn’t talking to her of course as I’m a very shy person. Days, weeks and months passed by and we became friends. I’m so good at hiding my feelings, and also I found out that she’s in a relationship. I felt sad and hopeless but I said to myself, at least I became friends with her so it was okay.

Most of the time I get to look at her, as our shops are in front of each other. And it makes me happy even just like that.

My confusion is that, there are times that I caught her looking at me from her shop or searching for me. I don’t know maybe I was just feeling like it but why is it that when I caught her, she’ll look away so quickly. Many times that this happened. 
And she opened  up to me about her personal life and when I thank her for trusting me, she told me that I’m special to her. 
Every time I go to her to say hi, she always play with my hair and sometimes hold my face with her hands.. I don’t know, maybe I just feel too much.

But is she doing this? 
Are these mixed signals? Do you think she’s interested?(She always mention to me about breaking up with her boyfriend)

Should I tell her that I like her and ruin our fresh friendship? Or I’ll just keep it to my self?

sorry for a long message..✌🏽

[Capricorn3]

5 hours ago, Gray92 said:

 I found out that she’s in a relationship. (She always mention to me about breaking up with her boyfriend)

Until she breaks up with her boyfriend, she's a no-go zone.  You back off and stay off.  Also, she doesn't exactly sound like a prize if she goes around "playing with your hair and holds your face in her hands" etc while she's in a relationship.  I wonder what her boyfriend would say, or how he would feel, if he knew this?   Says a lot about her, imo.

She's in a relationship.  You have no place there.  Find someone single.

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Gray92 said:

 Should I tell her that I like her and ruin our fresh friendship? Or I’ll just keep it to my self?

sorry for a long message..✌🏽

It's ok to have a crush, but don't make it awkward and uncomfortable by blurting that out to a co-worker.

[musicman777]

Ugh, sounds like a similar predicament I was in years ago except we weren't working together (I frequented the place she worked at). Same thing, she had a boyfriend, talked about leaving him, would flirt, play with her hair, even agreed to actually go on a date with me! But then never bit the bullet, was hurting my feelings, and honestly I was very stupid for falling for someone like that to begin with. 

Do you really wanna be with someone who flirts with guys behind her boyfriends  back? If she's doing to her current boyfriend now, how would you feel if she did that to you down the road? You wanna know what else, if she really liked you that much, she would have left him already to be with you.

Let me tell you something about women. There are some horrible women out there. There are bad guys out there, too (not to pick on the ladies in any way!). But I've definitely noticed in my life, moreso then men. There are women out there that love attention. They love flirting, they love attention, they love leading guys on, they get off on it, some girls love having a sucker like you (and myself in the past) wrapped around their finger. Meanwhile they'll have a steady boyfriend and you're left high and dry. 

I would NOT get involved with her romantically, period. Let it go. Blow off her flirtatious behavior, if anything, tell her it's bothering you if it gets to that point where it is. You're there to do your job, and you don't wanna start crap with someone you have to see every day at work. I'll end by saying, there are much better women out there. Some several years later I am with someone very serious now, plan on getting engaged next year. She treats me better than any woman did in the past. She never played games or lead me on. 

[Kwothe28]

One thing that you need to learn with the people that cheat or just want some attention by the side because they probably dont get it in a relationship: there is always a terrible boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife they are just about to leave for you. In a reality, very small percentage would actually leave their partner for you. And the ones they do, well, do you really think next time you wouldnt be "terrible boyfriend" that they would leave for somebody else?

Its just their MO. They tell you what you need to hear to keep you there and maybe makes them feel more justified in their own head if they cheat. In a reality, her boyfriend doesnt even have to be that bad. Otherwise she would probably be on her way without you in the picture. But some people see the thrill in getting a lover, or just getting attention by the side. So they seek that in any way possible. 

So my advice to you is to stay clear unless she breaks up with boyfriend. Even then its debatable if you should pursue somebody like that. Or even if she wants anything to do you with you aside of your attention. Because, no matter how much you say it, I dont think your intentions to her is that hidden as she probably knows you like her. We men are almost oblivious sometimes, women almost always know that stuff.

[smackie9]

You are totally friends zoned. Talking about deep personal things is what she would do with a GF. Guys like you seem to mistake it as a form of romantic intimacy. Well it's not intimacy at all. Step away because she's an emotional succubus. 

[SooSad33]

Remain as friends only.

Don't look at crossing that line. Like you said, is good that you two are at least friends now.

She really should not be approaching you like she is.  Maybe keep a bit of distance so she can't.

Often, times is best that some remain friends only, as to not ruin that by getting involved... as it will spoil that friendship.

 

[catfeeder]

There's no way that I could keep a crush on anyone who'd be disloyal to a current partner.

That's just...yuck.

You can keep fooling around with someone who makes a fool of someone else, or you can recognize how unattractive that renders a person--and cure yourself.

You get to pick.

 

[Rose Mosse]

It's a crush so difficult to control how you feel. It happens. What may help is putting things in perspective and asking yourself if you would ever be interested in dating her if the opportunity arises, knowing what you know about her and the way she goes behind her boyfriend's back to touch your hair and flirt with you. 

If you told her how you feel do you think that will solve anything? All it does is get that bursting feeling in your chest to subside at the expense of someone else's relationship. She then has a direct route to monkeybranch and hop over into another relationship, making you a rebound, and an escape from her previous problems. 

 

[Andrina]

One compartment of your heart does have limits. There's space for friends, families, pets which can hold a lot and can expand. There's a difference with the part saved for a romantic partner. When it's filled up with an unrequited love, there's absolutely no room for a partner who'd actually be crazy about you if you had room for her. Opportunities lost on someone unattainable and inappropriate. 

Stop wasting your time pouring your thoughts and emotional energy into an unethical flirt who doesn't care that you're frustrated with false notions she's on the verge of starting something with you.

Life experience is hard on the heart, but it will make you wiser and helps you to make better decisions when choosing who is a good risk in the area of romance. Take care.