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How do I choose between three different girls?


PillowPuck
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Just now, boltnrun said:

Those are just more excuses and delay tactics. 

Why bother with a long list of pros and cons? The best way to find out if a woman is right for you is to ASK HER OUT AND GO ON A DATE WITH HER. Not endlessly ruminate.

Again, I don't believe you want to ask anyone out. Are you afraid you'd fall apart mentally or emotionally if you ask and she says "no"?

A leadership role at my store has just opened up and I'm planning on making my move in terms of applying to said leadership role.

My company has certain rules about which types of employees can and can't date and I'm just trying to navigate my way through my promotion ambitions and potential for workplace relationships. You don't know all of the details, so I wouldn't expect you to understand.

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Just now, PillowPuck said:

A leadership role at my store has just opened up and I'm planning on making my move in terms of applying to said leadership role.

My company has certain rules about which types of employees can and can't date and I'm just trying to navigate my way through my promotion ambitions and potential for workplace relationships. You don't know all of the details, so I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Well, you said last week if we told you which one you should pick you would ask her out. You didn't do that. Did this potential promotion just come up in the past couple of days?

And anyway, aren't you in school? What happened with the one girl you liked? There surely must be other attractive and nice girls at school. Why limit yourself to your workplace?

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2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Well, you said last week if we told you which one you should pick you would ask her out. You didn't do that. Did this potential promotion just come up in the past couple of days?

And anyway, aren't you in school? What happened with the one girl you liked? There surely must be other attractive and nice girls at school. Why limit yourself to your workplace?

I dropped out of school. I've been working well into overtime at work and I simply viewed my job and promotion opportunities as more of a priority than financial debt and essays.

This promotion has been something that I've been chasing after for a few months now. My managers know of my ambitions and now with a role finally opening up, I'm just trying to be careful about how I proceed with dating co-workers.

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If you're in a leadership role dating coworkers is a terrible idea.

I would focus more on friends who might have sisters, cousins or coworkers of their own rather than your coworkers. That way if it doesn't work out you won't have to be awkwardly trying to avoid one another at work while everyone else feels uncomfortable as well.

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10 minutes ago, PillowPuck said:

A leadership role at my store has just opened up and I'm planning on making my move in terms of applying to said leadership role.

Excellent. Do that. Date outside of work. That way you won't be caught up in all this anxiety about going on a simple coffee date.

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7 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

If you're in a leadership role dating coworkers is a terrible idea.

Well now let's slow our roll here.

Girl A is only a seasonal hire for the holidays. Our store generally doesn't keep seasonal hires after Christmas, so that's very much something that I'm keeping in mind. Also, she works in a completely different department than me. Leaders and regulars can date so long as they work in different departments and don't directly report to each other.

Girl C is currently a leader of the department that I'm in. She's my leader, but if I get promoted, then we'll be leading the same department and a relationship between us would be alright in the eyes of the company. My store manager probably wouldn't like it, but her hands would be tied since it's a company wide rule and not something that she can dictate.

In other words, I wouldn't be violating any company rules if I were to date one of these girls while I'm a leader.

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32 minutes ago, PillowPuck said:

In other words, I wouldn't be violating any company rules if I were to date one of these girls while I'm a leader.

But...you cited the potential promotion as one of the reasons you're still "deciding" and now you say it doesn't even matter?

Why can't you ask the seasonal employee out now?

None of this makes any sense.

I still believe you don't really want to date.

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28 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

But...you cited the potential promotion as one of the reasons you're still "deciding" and now you say it doesn't even matter?

Why can't you ask the seasonal employee out now?

None of this makes any sense.

I still believe you don't really want to date.

I’m just worried that my manager would use me dating a co-worker as an excuse to not promote me.

The company may be fine with our relationship, but I know that my manager doesn’t personally approve of even regular employees dating. Imagine how she’d react to a lead and a regular dating, even if they are in different departments.

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1 hour ago, Tonight.majestic said:

So which girls are you leaning more towards?

Girl B is out of the running, but I genuinely don’t know between A and C. I think girl A is more physically attractive, but C is one who I’ve known longer and gotten to know more.

Girl C would be more complicated to date, as she’s one of the leaders in my department. I could soon be promoted to leader as well and it’d be fine in the eyes of the company to date her, but I have a feeling that our manager wouldn’t approve. Hell, I feel like the manager wouldn’t even approve of me and girl A dating, regardless of department and leadership status.

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21 hours ago, PillowPuck said:

A leadership role at my store has just opened up and I'm planning on making my move in terms of applying to said leadership role.

My company has certain rules about which types of employees can and can't date and I'm just trying to navigate my way through my promotion ambitions and potential for workplace relationships. You don't know all of the details, so I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Exactly why you don't poop where you eat. 

You never ask anyone out anyway! You create these threads debating women like you asking them out is a major commitment. Or like b they are winning some prize and are all waiting for your choice

Granted at work, while I don't think you should date from that pool, but you should pick one.

But you have no idea if these ladies, any of them, will even agree to go on a date with you. 

All this hymn-hawing and fear of asking for one date, at 26 years old, is a problem. 

My observation, just from your posts is: you bounce between arrogant confidence and little boy fear of rejection. If this is how you truly are,  you need to talk to a therapist.

You're basically paralyzed from taking any action.

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Where else do you meet women besides at work?

Work is not a singles club or some kind of setting like the Bachelor TV show, where candidates are vying amongst each other to try to get dates. There's a good reason why the manager frowns on workplace dating. When it goes bad the entire department has to witness the drama. It's distracting and unprofessional. People should be there to work.

So again, where else do you try to meet women?

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8 minutes ago, PillowPuck said:

I’m being serious here. I’m really going back and forth between these two girls and I can’t decide.

So what you said about being worried it would negatively affect the promotion you're trying to get isn't actually true? 

Which is it? You can't decide, or you think you might not get the promotion if you ask out the seasonal worker?

And like I said before, saying you "can't decide" is just an excuse to get out of asking anyone out. You don't really intend to.

Where else do you go to meet girls? Other than work?

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1 hour ago, PillowPuck said:

I’m being serious here. I’m really going back and forth between these two girls and I can’t decide.

women are not interchangeable objects. you are either interested enough to be motivated to act or you are not.

Clearly you are not that motivated for either of these women.  You hope to get a promotion at this job.

Solution: find a woman you actually connect with enough to want to ask out with some urgency & doesn't work for your company. 

At this rate you will be alone forever.  At your own hand. So wise up before your life passes you by already. 

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