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How do I choose between three different girls?


PillowPuck
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5 hours ago, PillowPuck said:

It’s not an excuse. You all have been consistently telling me not to date a 19 year old, so I’m just taking that advice.

OP, you're really just BSing all of us here.  You have a huge thread about dating a 19 year old.  The response was 50/50.  Some said no problem go ahead, and others said better not.

Now you say you're just taking our advice.  If that's the case why did you start THIS thread which included yet another 19 year old?  Once again, we all know where this is heading.  Rinse, repeat.  At the rate you're going you'll be 30 years old and still posting thread after thread after thread with the same BS stories about  "what should I do about my crush?  This is crush #25, should I ask her out". 

All talk.  No action. Big bag of wind.

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5 hours ago, boltnrun said:

That's great! 

So, you promised to ask one of them out. I expect you to keep your promise 😉

And no "but, but..." either! 

Well let's slow our roll here a bit. 

My biggest point of contention with Girl C was the age gap, but now that we've mostly estabished that the 26-19 age difference isn't a big deal, Girl C is back in the conversation.

So now I need to just go back to the drawing board and really take some time to think about which girl to choose.

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6 minutes ago, PillowPuck said:

Well let's slow our roll here a bit. 

My biggest point of contention with Girl C was the age gap, but now that we've mostly estabished that the 26-19 age difference isn't a big deal, Girl C is back in the conversation.

So now I need to just go back to the drawing board and really take some time to think about which girl to choose.

You've been thinking for weeks. Probably more like months. If you go any slower you'll be going backward.

You said once we gave our opinion you would ask one of them out Friday. Now you're using another excuse to do nothing.

I guess you're really not wanting to date anyone. That's fine, but why all the posts pretending you're going to ask someone out?

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27 minutes ago, PillowPuck said:

So now I need to just go back to the drawing board and really take some time to think about which girl to choose.

Fortunately, its not a complicated equation. Given the new information, ask out C. You have a more established connection with her, therefore a greater chance of success.

Before you ask, the only reason I originally prefered A was the presumption of a lesser age gap, which would mean a greater chance of forming a relationship. Now that is equal between A and C, C is the better choice. 

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2 hours ago, Jibralta said:

If you slow your roll any more, you're never going to ask anyone out.

Yep.  So much for saying he'll ask on Friday. We all know he never intended to ask any of them in the first place.  Probably have a new thread in a week or two about asking a girl out ..... again.

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Xexe, monthly That36Guy "Should I ask the girl X out" thread is coming along fine, I see

Since girl 2 has a boyfriend, just pick 1 or 3. Doesnt matter they are 19, or anything else, just roll a dice and if its odds then pick girl 1 and if its even then girl 3. That is it. It doesnt have to be some higher purpose or anything, just ask one for coffee and talk a bit more in private in that way. 

Edited by Kwothe28
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Are you fricking kidding me?! If a 26 year old chased my 19 year old daughter, he would have me and her father to contend with!!

You are an adult..she is not!! 21 is an adult, not 19. She just got out high school.

Grow up and look for someone your own age and leave the kids alone.

Edited by SherrySher
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When I was 19 I dated a 24 year old for over a year - we were exclusive basically right away. I was mature and he was (and is!) a lovely person.  We did not have sex and we were sexual and had sleepovers and went on one vacation.  We did not end things because of the age gap.  I looked up to him (and he was much taller than me LOL), and his parents welcomed me with open arms -we visited them often an hour or so away.  He simply wasn't a good match for me, after all, personality wise but the age gap was really no big deal at all.

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14 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

When I was 19 I dated a 24 year old for over a year - we were exclusive basically right away. I was mature and he was (and is!) a lovely person.  We did not have sex and we were sexual and had sleepovers and went on one vacation.  We did not end things because of the age gap.  I looked up to him (and he was much taller than me LOL), and his parents welcomed me with open arms -we visited them often an hour or so away.  He simply wasn't a good match for me, after all, personality wise but the age gap was really no big deal at all.

Just in my opinion, 26 is really pushing it. I don't think he has any business being with a girl that young.

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6 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

Just in my opinion, 26 is really pushing it. I don't think he has any business being with a girl that young.

We can disagree!  I know of a number of couples who met when the woman was that age and the man well into his 20s. One couple I think were married over 60 years.  In his case I don't see that he's really into her as a person but mostly into her looks.  In my case I assume my boyfriend thought I was cute when we met but I really got the sense he liked me as a person.  Because he was that kind of person not uber focused on looks (not saying the OP is but I think his main draw to this person is looks).

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It's OK, 36guy/Pillow will be happy to have more excuses not to ask anyone out. 

Just keep in mind, the more time you waste farting around not asking anyone out the older you will get. Once you're 30 it will be a lot more questionable if you continue to be attracted to 19 year olds.

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2 hours ago, SherrySher said:

21 is an adult, not 19.

In your own opinion as a parent, OK. If we are talking legal age, no and you know that well. In my country its 18. If we are talking about legal age in USA its around the same depending where you are. That means they can do whatever they want, even marry somebody in that age without parents or anyone consent.

Just so we are clear, I am not arguing that they should, I always found really big age difference weird too. Just saying that you are overreacting a bit when you say 19 is not an adult.

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11 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

In your own opinion as a parent, OK. If we are talking legal age, no and you know that well. In my country its 18. If we are talking about legal age in USA its around the same depending where you are. That means they can do whatever they want, even marry somebody in that age without parents or anyone consent.

Just so we are clear, I am not arguing that they should, I always found really big age difference weird too. Just saying that you are overreacting a bit when you say 19 is not an adult.

Not sure it's considering overreacting, hun. I am just going by the standards of my country (legalities) and my own values.

But thank you for letting me know, I appreciate it. I know many run on different standards, etc.

And I do respect that too. 

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12 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

So, which girl did you end up asking out on Friday? Did she say yes? I hope she did.

Well, I just found out that Girl B is still with her boyfriend, so that obviously puts her out of the running.

I didn’t ask anyone yet. I’m still genuinely struggling to decide between Girl A and Girl C.

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1 hour ago, PillowPuck said:

Well, I just found out that Girl B is still with her boyfriend, so that obviously puts her out of the running.

I didn’t ask anyone yet. I’m still genuinely struggling to decide between Girl A and Girl C.

Not surprising at all. 

I don't believe you truly want to date. I think you're afraid of something. What that is, I have no idea. 

But where you are is comfortable and apparently preferable to dating. So no point in spending months ruminating. Just accept you don't want to date. 

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So why we are waiting for the OP to not ask out imaginary women I have a question.

  Is it healthy to live in a fantasy dating world where you never take a chance and ask someone out so you will not get rejected or is it better to stop imagining dating scenarios and accept that you will be a single person the rest of your life or until someone asks you out? 

Reality and acceptance or fantasy?

Lost

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It's like people who claim they are "looking for" a job but send out no resumes, fill out and turn in no applications, make no calls and don't peruse job boards, sign on with a staffing agency or search company websites. So where and how exactly are they "looking"?

Pillow, you don't seem to want to admit you either don't want to date or are afraid of something to do with dating or asking women out. So instead you pretend to be oh so confused about which woman to pick!!!  That is your "out".

But why bother coming up with an "out"? You don't want to ask anyone out so just don't! All these mental gymnastics and pretense with the threads you start are just a smokescreen. Who are you putting on this performance for anyway? 

No need for all of that, seriously. It's not necessary.

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8 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

It's like people who claim they are "looking for" a job but send out no resumes, fill out and turn in no applications, make no calls and don't peruse job boards, sign on with a staffing agency or search company websites. So where and how exactly are they "looking"?

Pillow, you don't seem to want to admit you either don't want to date or are afraid of something to do with dating or asking women out. So instead you pretend to be oh so confused about which woman to pick!!!  That is your "out".

But why bother coming up with an "out"? You don't want to ask anyone out so just don't! All these mental gymnastics and pretense with the threads you start are just a smokescreen. Who are you putting on this performance for anyway? 

No need for all of that, seriously. It's not necessary.

I'm genuinely trying to figure out which one of them I want to ask out. I could make a whole list of pros and cons and I'm also keeping in mind that I'm going for a promotion at work and that it could very well be paying off in the near future. There's just a lot of variables at play that I need to keep in mind.

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Just now, PillowPuck said:

I'm genuinely trying to figure out which one of them I want to ask out. I could make a whole list of pros and cons and I'm also keeping in mind that I'm going for a promotion at work and that it could very well be paying off in the near future. There's just a lot of variables at play that I need to keep in mind.

Those are just more excuses and delay tactics. 

Why bother with a long list of pros and cons? The best way to find out if a woman is right for you is to ASK HER OUT AND GO ON A DATE WITH HER. Not endlessly ruminate.

Again, I don't believe you want to ask anyone out. Are you afraid you'd fall apart mentally or emotionally if you ask and she says "no"?

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