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How do I choose between three different girls?


PillowPuck
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So there are three different girls in my life whom I interested in asking out and I feel pretty good about them saying yes. All three are co-workers and while most people would say not to date co-workers, I'm planning on putting in my notice and leaving for a new job very soon.

Girl A is a new hire at this job and in my opinion, she's the most physically attractive of the three. We make conversation when we can and she always goes out of her way to talk to me. I honestly don't know a ton about her outside of phsyical attraction, but that's obviously why I'd want to ask her out, to get to know her better. She ultimately gets points for being super model levels of good-looking.

Girl B is the one who I've known the longest, us working together for a little over two years. She's the one whom I have the most in common with. We're both big movie-lovers and a lot of our conversations have been purely about film, which has absolutely made my attraction for her grow massively. But the problem is that I'm not 100% sure if she's still single. She's spent the past year and a half with a boyfriend and I'd see them constantly posting pictures together online, but that seems to have slowed in the past month or so. On top of that, she recently changed her hair, which I know is something that some girls do when they're fresh out of a relationship and she recently posted on Instagram a story involving her having a girls night out at a club and mentioning it being the first time in a while that she's been able to do something like that. So this girl is someone who I share a common interest with, but it's just up in the air if she still has a boyfriend or not.

Girl C is another one whom I've grown to be pretty close friends with and I honestly think that I've done the most flirting with her compared to the other two girls. We get along very well and we share some interests, it's just the constant flirting that I worry about. I feel that if I were to end up with either Girl A or B, then I feel like I would've just lead on Girl C and given her the runaround, what with my flirtation and attention towards her. I obviously don't want to hurt her like that. On top of that, there's an age gap, me being 26 and her being 19.

So those are my three choices and I'm really struggling to pick which one I want to ask out first. Like I said, there are pros and cons to each of them and now I just need some help on narrowing it down.

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If in your opinion a person gets "points" for looking like a super model ask her out.  The one who might be in a relationship and the young teenager are not good prospects because if you are this focused on looks that woman A gets a higher rank simply because of her physical features then for now avoid asking women out who might be seriously interested in you as a person. 

Woman A might be of course but since you know that especially C is interested in you better to sort of sow your wild oats where you go after women who you feel deserve "points" because of the arm candy/trophy features and, once you have a more balanced perspective where supermodel doesn't automatically equal "superior" then pursue more meaningful relationships.  Again could be Woman A is seriously interested in you once you start dating I just don't suggest you risk getting involved with someone who already is, given your mindset.  

Also once you leave the job you can later ask out one of the other two.

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17 minutes ago, PillowPuck said:

Girl A she's the most physically attractive of the three. We make conversation when we can and she always goes out of her way to talk to me. 

Girl B it's just up in the air if she still has a boyfriend or not.

Girl C  there's an age gap, me being 26 and her being 19.

A. But after you leave the workplace. 

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35 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

If in your opinion a person gets "points" for looking like a super model ask her out.  The one who might be in a relationship and the young teenager are not good prospects because if you are this focused on looks that woman A gets a higher rank simply because of her physical features then for now avoid asking women out who might be seriously interested in you as a person. 

Woman A might be of course but since you know that especially C is interested in you better to sort of sow your wild oats where you go after women who you feel deserve "points" because of the arm candy/trophy features and, once you have a more balanced perspective where supermodel doesn't automatically equal "superior" then pursue more meaningful relationships.  Again could be Woman A is seriously interested in you once you start dating I just don't suggest you risk getting involved with someone who already is, given your mindset.  

Also once you leave the job you can later ask out one of the other two.

I probably should've worded things better. I don't want to sound like physical features is the only thing I care about in a partner. I was just trying to come up with at least one positive, seeing as how I don't know too much about her. 

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Last month you wanted to ask your crush. Then you said that there's another girl you're interested in too.  You didn't ask either of them.  Now you have yet another girl.  The third one.  You keep adding more girls to your list but you never ask anyone out. Ever.   No matter what advice you get, or what any of the members suggest, you don't do anything. You're all talk and no action.  What's the point of all these threads?  😕

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I agree. When are you going to actually ask anyone out? You seem to have "analysis paralysis", where you spend so much time ruminating about what you should do you end up doing nothing.

These young women are either going to be old women or will already have boyfriends by the time you quit ruminating.

Do something!

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4 hours ago, PillowPuck said:

I probably should've worded things better. I don't want to sound like physical features is the only thing I care about in a partner. I was just trying to come up with at least one positive, seeing as how I don't know too much about her. 

How does looking like a supermodel make it more positive? Are you more attracted to women who look like supermodels? Is she of more value because she looks like a supermodel?

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1 hour ago, Capricorn3 said:

Last month you wanted to ask your crush. Then you said that there's another girl you're interested in too.  You didn't ask either of them.  Now you have yet another girl.  The third one.  You keep adding more girls to your list but you never ask anyone out. Ever.   No matter what advice you get, or what any of the members suggest, you don't do anything. You're all talk and no action.  What's the point of all these threads?  😕

Just assume for the sake of argument that I'm actually going to ask one of them out. Voice your opinion on which one I should pursue.

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53 minutes ago, PillowPuck said:

Just assume for the sake of argument that I'm actually going to ask one of them out. Voice your opinion on which one I should pursue.

None, because it ain't ever gonna happen. No point in choosing one.

But, I will wait with bated breath for you to surprise all of us. Maybe by then you'll have five or six girls to choose from.  Good luck!

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I'm honestly not sure if any are a good choice.

You admit you're a real flirt... and you may feel some guilt because you've done most of your flirting with girl C?  And you've been doing this a while?

IMO, one should not be flirting with a ton of 'co workers', knowing that's your workplace. And, to the point of feeling some guilt IF you don't ask her out. Also, maybe look into not acting this way in your next workplace.  Instead, just be nice, that's it.  I just see all of this a bit risky to where you're feeling kinda bad- almost obligated to ask some gal out you're not really sure you should.  And yeah, her being only 19, probably not for you.

 

As for A, she just started there?  How do you know she's not already involved? Since she is some 'model' type gal .

And B, I suggest you just leave that alone.  IF she is fresh out of a relationship, or it's dying. you don't want to go there.  She'd be still unsettled and dealing with all of that...

So, think on it.. if you can handle it, go for A.  Won't hurt just to ask, then you WILL know and also see if you're the least bit compatible.. hopefully she isn't some psycho 😉 .

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Really?  You have been talking about asking out a woman/girl on here for months and always find an excuse not to.

  Just ask anybody out!  You are froze up and over thinking all of this.  The worse part is you assume they are all into you.  The way you drag things out these women if they were ever slightly interested have more than likely put you in the friend zone by now.

  Stop overthinking everything and decide for yourself.  This indecisiveness is unattractive and ruins your chances by allowing to much time to go by from initial meeting to actually making a move.

  Ask the one out that is most out of your league, she will say no thanks and then you can see that it isn't fatal and be brave enough to ask a woman out without months of discussions and excuses.

Lost 

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Problem is women talk.  The minute you ask one out, they're all going to know within the hour.  Then the one who's asked last is going to be all "I'm no one's last choice" so the only thing I can tell you for sure is get that resume' updated so you can skedaddle when things go south.

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Men talk too. So once the guys at work find out they'll all be talking about you too. If you ask out A be prepared for some good natured ribbing if she says no and some ribbing if she says yes that might not be so good natured (jealous, competitive).

And before anyone says men don't gossip, they do too because I've heard them. One young guy I worked with told me about a young lady also at work who gave him "good" oral. So, yeah.

Anyway, @PillowPuck, have you asked any of them out? How did it go? 

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Girl A is at the top of your list and you know and I know you want to hit that the most. It's worth the risk of losing out on the other two if they talk. Better go for the best one rather than work your way up from the bottom right?

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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Men talk too. So once the guys at work find out they'll all be talking about you too. If you ask out A be prepared for some good natured ribbing if she says no and some ribbing if she says yes that might not be so good natured (jealous, competitive).

And before anyone says men don't gossip, they do too because I've heard them. One young guy I worked with told me about a young lady also at work who gave him "good" oral. So, yeah.

Anyway, @PillowPuck, have you asked any of them out? How did it go? 

I have the next couple of days off, but I'm hoping to make my move on Friday.

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What do you have in mind for a date? Please don't say "want to go grab some food?" because that sounds like a hangout. Be original and come up with something fun but not too over the top. Your classic dinner and movie is always a good idea, but a trip to the zoo or lunch at a beautiful botanical garden is nice too. And make it clear it's a date. Say something like "Are you free Sunday? I'd like to take you to Fun Restaurant and maybe see a movie after. Or would you prefer lunch at Local Botanical Garden Sunday afternoon?" You'll sound gentlemanly and creative. No inviting her over to play video games!

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