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My crush gave me his number. Does he like back?


sw1942966
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I need to give a lot of context here so I'm sorry if this is long. Also, it may be a lot of rambling that's all over the place so sorry again.

 

So I have a crush on a coworker. He's really nice, understanding, and we have A LOT in common. He would stop by my office or I would go by his and we would talk for the longest time about everything. He and I both just so happen to be really good at keeping eye contact so when we talk, he is usually staring at me directly in my eyes. There have been times when I caught his eyes wandering and there were times where our eyes would meet. For example, one day I was just coming to work and I was driving in the parking deck to the third floor. He had just got out of his vehicle and he locked eyes with me as I was driving up the parking deck. We both are a little shy around each other. We haven't touched once (meaning a gentle touch of the arm or a hug). Also he just recently broke up with his gf (like last week) so this whole time has been just he and I having friendly conversations (out of respect of him being in a relationship).

Well, today is his last day here (he is transferring to a new job). Friday, I asked him to stop by my office before he left for the day to say goodbye. He waited until the end of the day (when most of the office was gone) and came by. I told him how happy I was that I got to work with him and I'm going to miss him. He proceeded to thank me for being real and for being a good friend. I gave him a congratulations card. In that card, I wrote a little note that basically said "thank you for being a good friend. I'll miss you" blah blah. I also included my contact information. When I gave him the card, he told me he would read it later and not in front of me because that would be "awkward" lol. No text or email or anything over the weekend which is fine. Well, today, he stopped by my office and gave me HIS number on a note that said if I need anything to contact him. Weird. I did not expect that especially after I just gave him my number.

Am I crazy for thinking any of this stuff means anything? Should I use his number? Help.

 

TL;DR: My crush gave me his number unprovoked after I gave him mines in a greeting card. What does that mean and should I use it?

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If he's a bit shy, he might feel more comfortable if you do the reaching out. Yeah, a bit lame, but my husband initially did the same thing when we connected on OLD. I think it had to do with a slight bit of lack of confidence.

I'd be more concerned of how long he dated his ex, because if it was a longterm, serious relationship, it will take him a while to emotionally be ready to date again.

If it were me, I'd wait a few weeks and then call and see how he likes his new job, but then leave the ball in his court, even after he responds. Because the best way to gauge someone's interest is to not always be first to initiate communication. Some people just like the ego boost of a fan, and might act with a false interest, but they never really get around to asking out the person who's crushing.

Give yourself a reasonable timeline of exiting if he doesn't eventually ask you out on a proper date.

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 Ask him to meet you for coffee / tea or lunch.  Lunch during a work day will be rushed and perhaps inconvenient for him if his new job is far away.  Ask him to meet you for coffee / tea or lunch on a weekend or a walk after work?  Keep it casual and easy.  Get to know him better outside the office environment and establish friendship.  See where it takes you.  You will get a vibe whether he wants to remain just friends or something more.  Only time will tell.  Take baby steps.  Yes, I think you should make the first move otherwise no one will initiate anything.  What are you waiting for? 

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You say he just broke up with his girlfriend a few days ago.  If this leads anywhere with you, just know you are a rebound..... which very rarely ever leads to anything permanent. He needs time to process his break up and not immediately launch into another relationship. Monkey branching is not a recipe for a happy outcome.

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5 hours ago, sw1942966 said:

He proceeded to thank me for being real and for being a good friend

I hate to sound like doom and gloom, but any person that uses the word "friend" is not very interested in you romantically. In fact, people are very careful not to use it around their romantic interests because it can be percieved as that they dont want anything there.

Also any person that is interested will not just be that passive and wait until you maybe find somebody else but contact you instead. Since he chose not to contact you but to just exchange numbers, I dont really think he see you in the same way as you do see him.

But do contact him, I hate "will they wont they" situations(btw those situations almost never turn out good) so I think you at least deserve to know where you stand. If you see that he is dodgy and doesnt show any kind of interest, just move on from the whole thing.

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7 hours ago, sw1942966 said:

I need to give a lot of context here so I'm sorry if this is long. Also, it may be a lot of rambling that's all over the place so sorry again.

 

So I have a crush on a coworker. He's really nice, understanding, and we have A LOT in common. He would stop by my office or I would go by his and we would talk for the longest time about everything. He and I both just so happen to be really good at keeping eye contact so when we talk, he is usually staring at me directly in my eyes. There have been times when I caught his eyes wandering and there were times where our eyes would meet. For example, one day I was just coming to work and I was driving in the parking deck to the third floor. He had just got out of his vehicle and he locked eyes with me as I was driving up the parking deck. We both are a little shy around each other. We haven't touched once (meaning a gentle touch of the arm or a hug). Also he just recently broke up with his gf (like last week) so this whole time has been just he and I having friendly conversations (out of respect of him being in a relationship).

Well, today is his last day here (he is transferring to a new job). Friday, I asked him to stop by my office before he left for the day to say goodbye. He waited until the end of the day (when most of the office was gone) and came by. I told him how happy I was that I got to work with him and I'm going to miss him. He proceeded to thank me for being real and for being a good friend. I gave him a congratulations card. In that card, I wrote a little note that basically said "thank you for being a good friend. I'll miss you" blah blah. I also included my contact information. When I gave him the card, he told me he would read it later and not in front of me because that would be "awkward" lol. No text or email or anything over the weekend which is fine. Well, today, he stopped by my office and gave me HIS number on a note that said if I need anything to contact him. Weird. I did not expect that especially after I just gave him my number.

Am I crazy for thinking any of this stuff means anything? Should I use his number? Help.

 

TL;DR: My crush gave me his number unprovoked after I gave him mines in a greeting card. What does that mean and should I use it?

Guys are pretty straight forward, if he wanted to ask you out and start a romance, he would have said so by now.

Giving you his number and not mentioning anything else sounds more like a buddy type of thing and not romantic.

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39 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

but any person that uses the word "friend" is not very interested in you romantically. In fact, people are very careful not to use it around their romantic interests because it can be percieved as that they dont want anything there.

100% agree. Guys don't want to be friend zoned by a woman they are interested in romantically, so they wouldn't use that word unless they really are just thinking more along the lines of a friend.

Edited by SherrySher
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7 hours ago, sw1942966 said:

 he just recently broke up with his gf  last week

. I also included my contact information. When I gave him the card

today, he stopped by my office and gave me HIS number on a note that said if I need anything to contact him. 

Sounds like a nice colleague. Connect on LinkedIn/social media.

It seems he enjoyed working together. Hopefully he viewed your including your contact info as networking.

He is still talking to his GF. Steer clear. Don't swoop in like a hungry vulture.

He has your info, so don't contact him.

Edited by Wiseman2
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Breakups are a process and not a one time event.  It's takes weeks of coming undone and then more rebuilding ones self.  He broke up a week ago?  I can almost guarantee you there is a certain amount of discussions going back and forth until they become completely detached or even possibly reconcile.  I personally wouldn't date someone who is in the throws of this.

The exchange of the friendly titles suggests he is letting you know he isn't ready.  I think even when you are in the middle of processing a breakup, the reminder that there is a life of dating waiting for you when the time comes is a comforting thought.  Not to be confused with being ready to date.

I can't really read the tea leaves on his level of attraction.  But either way, this guy needs time before he's available, whether he's willing to admit or not.

What's the rush to need to know?  You are probably better off letting this one heal for some time.  He knows where to find you.  Pursuing it before he's ready you risk being a rebound or a friendly therapist.

Edited by reinventmyself
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On 11/15/2021 at 5:19 PM, sw1942966 said:

Friday, I asked him to stop by my office before he left for the day to say goodbye. He waited until the end of the day (when most of the office was gone) and came by. I told him how happy I was that I got to work with him and I'm going to miss him. He proceeded to thank me for being real and for being a good friend. I gave him a congratulations card. In that card, I wrote a little note that basically said "thank you for being a good friend. I'll miss you" blah blah. I also included my contact information.

I feel he did the number swap in response to you giving yours first.

I suggest you do not look much further into this though.. for 2 reason's. 1)  he just got out of a relationship. ( anything with you would likely be a rebound thing, you don't want that!).

2) He see's you as a good friend.  meaning most likely, nothing more.  Which is good.  You know you have that much.

If you were to look at him as anything more, you risk losing what you have now.  A decent friend.

I suggest you look no further re: any expectations.

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