I feel as if i'm cheating sometimes

[Addicted2Coffee]

Okay. I have a slight dilemma.

 

I'm in a long distance relationship with my loving bf. we'll be celebrating our 3yr anniversary next month, but sometimes, I feel as if i'm emotionally cheating on him.

 

During the summer, he often leaves me for long periods of time to visit his family in the states. And me, being in Canada, can get very lonely. This was the situation last summer. Last summer, when my boyfriend was absent for a total of two months, I got really close to one of my ex's. not on a romantic level, but we just hung out, chilled, and did stuff with each other. I can never cheat on my bf, but because we were so initimate on a friendship level and that we cared about each other, I felt really guilty about it. Morever, last summer, i sensed a lot of sexual tension too.

 

Fast forward to this summer. My bf is working in another city all summer so I started hanging out with my other friend again. And I don't want it to repeat. I don't want to feel as if i'm cheating again. Because last summer, it tore me apart because I felt as if I developed feelings another person.

 

Today, while he was dropping me off at my front door, it just felt weird. Very awkward.

 

We saw a movie today, and I dragged along one of my single girlfriends. But she even said that we're almost a couple but not really.

 

I don't know if i should minimize contact with him? I don't think i can talk to him about it because I think/know he's sorta aware of our undertones.

 

He knows I love my boyfriend very much and is very commited to him.

[RandomAdvisor]

Is your boyfriend aware of the amount of time you spend with your ex?

 

Talking to the ex might be weird. You don't have to. If he ever calls you to "hang out", just make excuses. He'll get the message eventually.

[Addicted2Coffee]

yeah. my bf knows. he knows that we're friends and we do friend related things. but there's this massive undertones.

 

And my ex and i broke up three years ago. We're just "platonic" friends, or at least that's what we say to each other

[socalguy123]

what do you really want? out of your friendship with your ex? with your relationship with your bf? can you handle being without your ex? do you think you could live without your bf right now?

 

 

i guess i'm asking these questions, because you are headed down the wrong road. is it worth it to jeopardize your relationship, just so you can keep in touch with your ex? i understand you haven't messed around with your ex, but sharing experiences with him can end up putting space between you and your present bf.

 

 

if i was your bf, i wouldn't put up with it. me or him. sorry, i'm selfish

[kungfumaster]

this sounds dangerous if you don't even trust yourself emotionally... for me, emotional affair can be and almost at the same level as a sexual affair.

 

the thing is, i just hear that you are sort of playing the victim here, that you cannot "help yourself". i don't understand why that is - maybe you're not over your ex, and maybe you still feel something for him too. i mean, this can be stopped right away by you, i.e., just tell him you don't think its such a good idea that you two hang out with each other.

 

why don't you go your bf city for the summer?? why didn't you ask him to stay or something??

[heartshout]

true to what others said .... "its me or him" and this situation is indeed leading into a wrong direction ... it doesnt matter whether its your ex or somebody else but the fact remains that in LDR, trust and communication is something that has to be emphasized ...

 

If there is a sense of guilt in your heart with your actions, there is definitely something wrong ...

 

stay on the right track girl before things get out of control ...

[Fionazou]

I can see this is problematic thing going on there. It might be good to think that stop hang out with your ex straight away and telling the true feeling with your bf now if you want to keep the relationship. I knew is hard sometimes, but you should try at least. Friend is friend, bf is bf. Right? Good luck then

[Falucchi]

Maybe you're too young to be stuck at home waiting for your long-distance boyfriend to come around, after his family or his job or his whatever.

 

It seems kind of self-limiting to be expected, at age 19 and umarried, to not date or have guy-friends, or flirt or have much fun, but instead just wait for a guy to come back.

 

Doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun for someone only 19 years old.

I'd be lonely, bored, unhappy, and would probably say I'd like to date other people for at least the summer, and see how things stand after summer.