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Is this considered an abusive relationship?


Daisy Brown
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Is this considered an abusive boyfriend?

- Pushing til partner falls down

-Pinning partner to ground despite them crying

- Manipulating partner into sexual acts they don’t want to do by saying things like “you should be doing this since we are together” or “I feel like you dont love me if you don’t do this” and not stopping the sexual act despite partner crying 

-Making decisions for partner, telling them what to do with their life

- Making partner doubt themselves

-Anger outbursts, throwing objects, saying degrading things

- saying “no one else would ever stick out with you or put up with your behavior “

-treating partner like a child

-always lying, then blaming partner for major trust issues 

-cutting contact to punish partner when they do something “wrong”

-rarely admitting mistakes, blaming partner all the time

 

after being in this for years ive started to doubt myself, because of his manipulative ways, thats why I’m asking this question. 
any advice is highly appreciated 

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1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

Short answer: yes, you are being abused.  At the extreme high end of abuse.

Get out before this person puts you in the hospital or the morgue.

We broke up a while ago, I am now just trying to figure out what was going on and why he made me doubt myself so much. Thanks for ur answer

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He treated you this way cause he is messed up, toxic!  And you chose to accept this from him for too long.

We need to learn how to be stronger & get out of such abuse & mis treatments.

He made you doubt yourself amongst other things because you let him.

Now, let this be a learning experience, for what red flags to watch for.. and I also suggest you seek some prof help to work through this.

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I think anyone  would know this is abusive.  I think the bigger question should be WHY on earth anyone chooses to stay in such an abusive relationship?

Maybe time to look within and reflect a little, and rethink this toxic, dysfunctional and abusive relationship.  Time to pack your bags and leave.

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13 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

He treated you this way cause he is messed up, toxic!  And you chose to accept this from him for too long.

We need to learn how to be stronger & get out of such abuse & mis treatments.

He made you doubt yourself amongst other things because you let him.

Now, let this be a learning experience, for what red flags to watch for.. and I also suggest you seek some prof help to work through this.

Thank you for your reply 😊

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6 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

I think anyone  would know this is abusive.  I think the bigger question should be WHY on earth anyone chooses to stay in such an abusive relationship?

Maybe time to look within and reflect a little, and rethink this toxic, dysfunctional and abusive relationship.  Time to pack your bags and leave.

Absolutely. I left about a week ago. Thank you.

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Quote

Controlling and possessive behavior

They check on you all the time to see where you are, what you're doing and who you're with

They try to control where you go and who you see, and get angry if you don't do what they say.

Being unreasonably jealous

They accuse you of being unfaithful or of flirting

They isolate you from family and friends, often by behaving rudely to them.

Put-downs

They put you down, either publicly or privately, by attacking your intelligence, looks, mental health or capabilities

They constantly compare you unfavourably to others

They blame you for all the problems in your relationship, and for their violent outbursts

They say things like, 'No one else will want you.'

Threats

They yell or sulk, and deliberately break things that you value

They threaten to use violence against you, your family, friends or a pet.

Physical and sexual violence

They push, shove, hit or grab you

They force or trick you into having sex or doing things you don't want to do

They harm you, your pets or your family members.

I would say that you pretty much thick all the boxes

Its concerning that you are still on and off with that guy and not literally getting a restraining order.

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10 hours ago, smackie9 said:

That is what abusers do...they prey on the emotionally vulnerable. Usually find someone that has low self esteem or had a bad life or at a low point in their life. They start out as the protector. Then slowly deny you access to friends and family, filling your head with lies. You become too invested, and that's when it really starts. You want to do right by them, make them happy and stop the abuse so you are willing to do anything. It becomes a viscous cycle that's hard to get out of. They gaslight you making you doubt yourself, make you think you are the crazy one. It's horrible.

The tricky part is staying out of it for good. You are only a week out and still very vulnerable. They usually reach out, say they miss you, apologize, promise they will be good etc. It's gonna be a challenge. Stay strong. Make sure he cannot contact you/see you or know what you do. Might be a good idea to shut down your social media for awhile.

Thank you for your reply. Yes, I blocked him on everything and I’m staying away from places where he usually goes.

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