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Planning Alone Time


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8 hours ago, anon11 said:

. I believe my actions justify their loss of trust and that I am the one who is primarily responsible for my partner's unhappiness with me.

Ok. It seems like you just want to limp along  complaining and explaining everything with excessive psychobabble but refuse to make your life happy with a compatible suitable partner.

Keep in mind, same sex relationships are just as prone to abusive dynamics like this as any other relationships. Get some outside support. Therapy could help you.


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But it's not 90% of the time because if you see a future, you'll be living together 100% of the time.  And it sounds like over 90% of the time you can't live together compatibly.  Living together is a huge part of a long term committed relationship -or, even if separate homes, being together and spending time together is a huge part of a relationship. 

What you're describing is more like "90% of the time we get along beautifully and love each other and our only arguments are about the fact that she's a hoarder and I prefer a neat space".  Oh, ok then - so if you have a discrete issue like that you know what, it's often workable - the couple can throw money at the problem, work out a compromise, etc.  As long as it doesn't bleed over into other areas of the relationship too much. 

Your "10 percent issue" as you put it is gushing blood and other bodily fluids (like tears or nearly so I bet) over every aspect of your relationship - your career, where you live, how you breathe in your own home.  

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