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Ex FWB is possibly sleeping with his guy friend


Heather84
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Dreaming of my ex-boyfriend hugging...
Dreaming of my ex-boyfriend hugging me

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I have a guy friend that is pretty much my best friend. We started sleeping together as FWB in February and stopped 4 weeks ago, he stopped it using the excuse that he thought I was getting attached, when in actuality it was him that was acting like we were in a relationship. He has a guy friend that I do not care for. His friend tells me regularly that I am beautiful and that he loves me, I’ve met him 5 or 6 times. This friend of his also had a girlfriend at first until they split, but he also says things about going down on other guys. The very first time we all hung out I heard his friend tell him he wanted his ***. I thought it was weird, but ignored it. They are very “playful” with each other, to the point that another guy friend mentioned how weird it was to me. Today I had to pick up the FWB’s “friend” and he told me that FWB was crazy, he said this laughing. When I asked why he said because my ex FWB had sent him a *** picture. My heart literally dropped. Tonight all 3 of us were together and they were talking Spanish to each other. Neither realize how good my Spanish is, and there were parts of the conversations that had me feeling very uneasy. I want to bring this up to my friend, but I don’t know what to say or if I am just overreacting! I literally feel sick to my stomach from it and I feel like I was traded in for a guy. Please help!

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9 minutes ago, Heather84 said:

Tonight all 3 of us were together 

You're likely more annoyed and insulted than anything. Don't say anything. Let this blow over and distance yourself, spend time with other friends. Think about this in the meantime and see whether these are people you'd want to spend time with. Does feeling uneasy among friends sound right to you?

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12 minutes ago, Heather84 said:

. His friend tells me regularly that I am beautiful and that he loves me, I’ve met him 5 or 6 times. 

They both sound weird. Delete and block him and All his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Why waste time on nebulous situationships that do nothing but create drama?

Step back and reflect on what You want not what these two weirdos want.

Get on some quality dating apps with a good profile and pics and start talking to and meeting decent sane men for a low-key coffee.

Skip FWB, musical beds and horndogs like these guys.🌭

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Are you annoyed that they are maybe bi and that you are traded for the guy? You were FWB, sorry but, if you are annoyed maybe he was right about you getting too attached in that relationship. Or is it just hitting your ego?

Anyway, as much as it is uncomfortable, its their deal. You need to look for yourself. Meaning to focus on finding your own guy. 

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I think this is part of having a sexual arrangement with a friend.  The arrangement is to have sex when you're both in the mood.  If one person is no longer into it for any reason then the sexual arrangement is over.  There was no relationship beyond this sexual interaction.  The friendship is separate.  In a committed relationship the friendship is all bound up with the rest -it's a complete package not separate because  the two people care about each other and want to be together and show it in a number of ways depending on lots of factors.  Even in a casual dating relationship it's the same -the two people get together for dates, activities, to talk and they also are physically affectionate and /or sexual but the focus is not on the sexual arrangement. 

What you are experiencing is the downside of a sexual arrangement -he's decided he'd rather have sex with someone else and he's decided he'd rather not have sex with you anymore. Perhaps he felt the need to give you excuses because you two are friends as well (if you still are -that's the other risk of a sexual arrangement) - but bottom line is he'd prefer to have sex with someone else.  The only reason it matters that the someone else is male is because you might want to consider getting checked for STDs since he may have been exploring his attraction to men while having intercourse with you as it seems that this is a new type of sexual arrangement for him.

Consider that sexual arrangements might not be worth the downsides for you.  You got involved with your ego and you seem to have unrealistic expectations about what this is other than an arrangement to meet up for intercourse when you're in the mood.  They are worth it for some people of course.

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