KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 I’ve been seeing this guy only twice but he intimated both times so i told him i would like to see him again and all he said was “okay” is it my responsibility to to ask when he’s free or what time i wanna meet? I don’t know how to respond to just okay … i think that’s a bad sign Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Meet for what? Sex only? Dating? That's up to you and how hard you want to pursue this. If you don't sense he's that excited about seeing you again then leave him alone and move on to other dates. 1 Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 1 hour ago, KrisPieyKay said: I don’t know how to respond to just okay … i think that’s a bad sign He doesn't seem that interested. Is this the same man?: Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: He doesn't seem that interested. Is this the same man?: No i just met this guy Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Rose Mosse said: Meet for what? Sex only? Dating? That's up to you and how hard you want to pursue this. If you don't sense he's that excited about seeing you again then leave him alone and move on to other dates. I don’t know if i was over thinking because i just saw him Friday Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Is up to you... I am guessing is not just you initiating, as you said he has contacted you to 'meet up'? If he's interested enough, you'll know. Just make sure it is not always just you reaching out and to learn soon enough what it's all about.. just occasional hook ups - or what you two are wanting out of this. Link to comment
waffle Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 3 hours ago, KrisPieyKay said: I don’t know how to respond to just okay … i think that’s a bad sign Not sure what you mean by a "bad sign" but it's entirely possible he just doesn't know how to do this either. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 You didn't ask him out -you simply said you'd like to see him again. If you want to ask him out on a date plan a date or suggestion and ask him out in advance for a specific day and ask if he'd like to go on that date with you. Sometimes I'll follow up with a vague reference like that (or "let's hang out again") with "sounds good - what's your schedule like next week?" but I don't assume the person has a specific plan in mind and may just be saying words with no intention of following up. 1 Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Did you wanted him to say "Yippie" and start running around in circles from happiness? He said "OK". If he initiated to see you twice that means he is interested in at least something. If nothing changed in meantime. Ask if he is available and see by his reaction if he really wants to see you or not. 1 Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 1 minute ago, Kwothe28 said: Did you wanted him to say "Yippie" and start running around in circles from happiness? He said "OK". If he initiated to see you twice that means he is interested in at least something. If nothing changed in meantime. Ask if he is available and see by his reaction if he really wants to see you or not. I wouldn't just ask if he is available. If she truly thinks she should initiate a date after him initiating two times then she should show him she put time and effort into coming up with a potential time, place and activity for a date. Link to comment
Kwothe28 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 5 minutes ago, Batya33 said: I wouldn't just ask if he is available. If she truly thinks she should initiate a date after him initiating two times then she should show him she put time and effort into coming up with a potential time, place and activity for a date. I meant "available" for the date, not "available" if he has somebody now or not. My bad for not being more precise there. And yes she should have precise time and place or even activity for that. Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 1 hour ago, waffle said: Not sure what you mean by a "bad sign" but it's entirely possible he just doesn't know how to do this either. Maybe I’m confused i told him i wanted to see him again i expected him to let me know his availability Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 2 hours ago, SooSad33 said: Is up to you... I am guessing is not just you initiating, as you said he has contacted you to 'meet up'? If he's interested enough, you'll know. Just make sure it is not always just you reaching out and to learn soon enough what it's all about.. just occasional hook ups - or what you two are wanting out of this. Yeah after our date he started mentioning us hanging out again Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 1 hour ago, waffle said: Not sure what you mean by a "bad sign" but it's entirely possible he just doesn't know how to do this either. Lol i took it as a no since he didn’t give me a time nor date Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said: Did you wanted him to say "Yippie" and start running around in circles from happiness? He said "OK". If he initiated to see you twice that means he is interested in at least something. If nothing changed in meantime. Ask if he is available and see by his reaction if he really wants to see you or not. I guess i expected him to say when or give me times when he’s free Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, KrisPieyKay said: I guess i expected him to say when or give me times when he’s free Ok, lay back a bit, he has your contact info so if he wants to get together he'll contact you. The ball is in his court. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 50 minutes ago, KrisPieyKay said: Maybe I’m confused i told him i wanted to see him again i expected him to let me know his availability I don’t think you’re confused. I think you have unrealistic expectations. When he asked you out for a date did he ask you for a particular day to do a particular activity ? Do you expect him to read your mind - especially since you barely know him. Either ask him out on a date or let him ask you. This sort of vague “signal “ just means “I want you to ask me out again so I’m showing you I’ll say yes if you do”. It’s not asking him out or initiating. What’s confusing about that ? 1 Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 46 minutes ago, KrisPieyKay said: Lol i took it as a no since he didn’t give me a time nor date So again you weren’t asking him out. You wanted him to put in the effort to tell you when he was free but also when he was free to do … what ? A date is a plan to see the other person for an activity. “I’d like to see you again. Want to check out that exhibit at the museum this weekend ?” Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 11 minutes ago, Batya33 said: So again you weren’t asking him out. You wanted him to put in the effort to tell you when he was free but also when he was free to do … what ? A date is a plan to see the other person for an activity. “I’d like to see you again. Want to check out that exhibit at the museum this weekend ?” I wanted him to give me a time and date that he was free i expected him to ask when Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 16 minutes ago, Batya33 said: I don’t think you’re confused. I think you have unrealistic expectations. When he asked you out for a date did he ask you for a particular day to do a particular activity ? Do you expect him to read your mind - especially since you barely know him. Either ask him out on a date or let him ask you. This sort of vague “signal “ just means “I want you to ask me out again so I’m showing you I’ll say yes if you do”. It’s not asking him out or initiating. What’s confusing about that ? When he asked me out i immediately said I’m off Friday and Saturday Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Why do you call it "hanging out"? Are you two dating or just having casual sex? Or just going shopping together or whatever? Link to comment
KrisPieyKay Posted October 13, 2021 Author Share Posted October 13, 2021 5 minutes ago, boltnrun said: Why do you call it "hanging out"? Are you two dating or just having casual sex? Or just going shopping together or whatever? We didn’t have sex. We went to his dorm he showed me around we went out to eat etc Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 39 minutes ago, KrisPieyKay said: When he asked me out i immediately said I’m off Friday and Saturday Okay, then leave it at that. If he's wanting to see you, he should let you know if it's a go. If you two never really talk other than setting up dates to 'hang out', doesn't sound much like an actual couple. A couple communicates regularly and 'gives a little', not all one sided. Plus, if both are interested for real, it should be known and no other's be involved. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted October 13, 2021 Share Posted October 13, 2021 Respond naturally. Ask him when he's free, what time to meet, where, etc. The problem with writing electronically is that often times blunt answers are misconstrued and something gets lost in translation. Often times, bluntness is misunderstood for disinterest. Meeting in person is better and verbal communication in person is better as well. I've noticed some people are not always adept at communicating electronically so their bluntness is often times interpreted or perceived as terse or curt. Link to comment
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