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Text message harassment from anon person


Shiroo
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I met my boyfriend (M31) in November of 2020 and we hit it off really well..(I am F29) starting around January I began getting harassing text messages...my mom, dad, aunt, and uncle would receive them as well.

 

In the beginning they were very mean and included naked photos of me. This person continues to do it today and claims they do it because they want me to break up with my boyfriend. They claim he is seeing other people and buying them gifts, paying rent, and hotel rooms.

This has gone on long enough. The information they have are things we have only said together whether in person or text. He claims he is not involved and doesnt know.

 

The thing is, he works in robotics? He is an engineer...and he knows about this sort of thing better than most people. If it were true, I feel like he would be able to solve this problem

 

These texts have made me so insecure. It has been suggested he is seeing escorts and when I looked at some of the websites the girls aren't very good looking outside of their "body parts" this texter insults me because I have a smaller.chest and build. 

I plan to get surgery, but I wanted to wait until I wasfinancially secure/have the ability to spend that kind of money on something just for me. Seems like a silly thing to get done when you don't have much money.

I have confronted him countless times. He swears it isn't him, he doesn't want me to leave etc. But it doesn't make sense. They only text when he is at work never on the weekends are rarely past 6:00.

 

I don't know if it is him or some other girl but I really want to understand why this is happening before just running away. So much doesn't make sense. Why live with someone your not attracted to ? He rarely wants sex unleww we we are on a trip..and I never noticed that until recently. 

Finally, it hurts ! I hate feeling ugly , less than, and hated. The idea of him using another girl to make them and myself jealous makes my blood boil. I don't know how to find out if he is lying and I feel creepy checking up on him at work. I feel overbearing asking to look at his phone

 

That's another thing, this texter would know things that only existed on my phone in the past. Any opinions???

 

Also before someone says "just block" they make.a.new number...somwtim s using three separate numbers in a day...we are at 410 numbers. Police do not help.

 

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3 minutes ago, Shiroo said:

included naked photos of me. The information they have are things we have only said together whether in person or text. I don't know if it is him or some other girl

You must know who has these photos of you and so much information. Do not get surgery. This is not a reason to alter yourself. 

What do your family think? Have you had your phone examined by a tech expert? What do you mean by "police don't help"? Revenge porn is a crime in many jurisdictions.

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Because they are only found on an old iphone ..or my boyfriends phone (all have been deleted) it was luckily just my butt...but again, it really points to him. 

 

They use texting apps like burner phone, text me, text now etc

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23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You must know who has these photos of you and so much information. Do not get surgery. This is not a reason to alter yourself. 

What do your family think? Have you had your phone examined by a tech expert? What do you mean by "police don't help"? Revenge porn is a crime in many jurisdictions.

Since the images weren't sent online but to my family I guess it isn't as important. Also , they claim is to be very difficult to do because they use various numbers.

 

My family and I have gone to the police. They only looked at the photos and said it is almost impossible to track them down when they use texting apps. It seems cases like this only get solved if the victim is murdered or hurt (I like true crime, but no I don't think he will hurt me)

 

Police suggested save all the messages and do not reply 

 

The problem is he really seems innocent. 

 

At first my family defended them, until he seemed to do nothing about it. You would a guy (or girl!) In a relationship would want to have a few words with whoever it is... would understand my insecurity in the bedroom (texter claims everyone is else is better and he can't wait to get away from me in the morning.

 

Maybe I am rambling a bit but I have kept the majority of this stuff to myself. I just don't understand the motive unless

1. It is him and he doesn't have the guts to say "get out" 

2. He is seeing someone else and making up a story so they feel they are doing him a favor pushing me to leave 

3. It is a crazy ex.

Number three is what I tell everyone but in reality it doesn't make sense because the information is recent and happened between me and my boyfriend in his house. 

 

He has cameras....and a lot of weird devices that show up on Bluetooth. He says it is his neighbors...but they are just random letters. He has a camera pointing out the front door, camera in his basement and a camera where my cats are staying.

 

 

 

 

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28 minutes ago, Shiroo said:

That's another thing, this texter would know things that only existed on my phone in the past. Any opinions???

 

If I would have to guess, I would say somebody "cloned" your old phone. Hence why they have info that it existed in the past including nudes, or phone numbers of your relatives. And I think it would have to be somebody close to you and somebody who knows what its doing. And if they know something your boyfriend only knows, its either him, or somebody he told. So I am sorry but all signs do point in one direction. And that he is not so innocent as he says. Because their demands are very specific and going to one direction. You breaking up with him.

It can also be somebody from your past, like ex boyfriends. But if they know info that only new boyfriend knows, its probably somebody from his life or just him in some twisted game. 

Also, will adress elephant in the room and say that, online harassment or not, you dont seem happy there. You are feeling insecure to the point you want a "boob job". And he doesnt really help with that. Nore with what is going on even though its directly connected with him. So it might be for the best to even not play detective at all and just leave all that mess. For your own sake.

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You may never know the answer to this. I agree with Kwothe's comments and take a look at the whole picture and determine whether you feel good around or trust your partner. The dealbreakers may be resting right on the tip of your nose but you are too focused on these texts from strangers or trying to crack a puzzle, wasting your energies. Don't keep going around in circles. Take a good look at him and whether you see yourself spending more of your time with this person.

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1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

If I would have to guess, I would say somebody "cloned" your old phone. Hence why they have info that it existed in the past including nudes, or phone numbers of your relatives. And I think it would have to be somebody close to you and somebody who knows what its doing. And if they know something your boyfriend only knows, its either him, or somebody he told. So I am sorry but all signs do point in one direction. And that he is not so innocent as he says. Because their demands are very specific and going to one direction. You breaking up with him.

It can also be somebody from your past, like ex boyfriends. But if they know info that only new boyfriend knows, its probably somebody from his life or just him in some twisted game. 

Also, will adress elephant in the room and say that, online harassment or not, you dont seem happy there. You are feeling insecure to the point you want a "boob job". And he doesnt really help with that. Nore with what is going on even though its directly connected with him. So it might be for the best to even not play detective at all and just leave all that mess. For your own sake.

The end there hurt a little, but I needed to hear that. I understand life is too short to constantly feel not good enough around someone and they doing the bare minimum to show they are or attempting to make it stop.

Someone suggested it's an ex, I had not dated someone for 3/4 years before meeting the topic of this entry 

 

It's just super frustrating. He accused me of being paranoia etc but he WAS paying the rent for a girl he was seeing before we met. I  said her or me, and he ended the 1,700 a month lease 

 

Ir just feels like I am being played with. I was hoping there was a way I could track these texts this has to be illegal.

 

They also send randomr prostitutes to our house when I'm off work and home and he is still working. That made.me so angry because after looking into it sometimes those people come over just to steal. 

 

I really appreciate that you  read this. I feel bad it in the end he has no control

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Idk, it really seems like it is him. From the times the person texts to the things they say. Especially if it’s things only he could know. How would this person get your number and know your past and even know about your relationship now? Even crazier is they found a way to contact your family. Who would have their info as well? Him. Motive? I can’t figure that out. Like you said, maybe to get you to leave. Maybe he likes messing with people for whatever sick reasons. Maybe it’s some kind of test to see if you will stick around. Idk. But his lack of interest in figuring it out makes him very suspicious. I even think he sent prostitutes to your house to throw you off. You would never think he would take it that far. 

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I agree with what everyone else is saying.  

The one thing about your situation and the way you explain it, is very telling.  The fact that you even think it could be him is enough to leave.  

You're feeling insecure and it's effecting your mental health. 

Do you want to trap him in the lie?  get a new phone and number and only give it to your family and friends.  Don't tell him you have a new number or phone.  Stop using the other one except for him and his calls.  See if he "notices" that you aren't talking to anyone else.  

then you would know he cloned your phone and is monitoring what you say.  

Or you could set a trap for him... like you're planning a surprise for him. and talking to your family about it via text.  Maybe have a family member in on it... See how he acts.  

Also quietly start planning your exit.  If this guy is this much of  a creep, you don't know what he will do.  You may have to dump him after you leave.  

Whether it is him or not, I think the relationship and the trust is gone.  I don't know how you can stomach being with someone you even remotely think could be doing this to you.  I suspect it's your self esteem.  Don't waste your money on surgery.... If you are feeling so low about yourself, it might not even help.  You have to fix yourself on the inside.  

Maybe that's why you stay with someone you think is completely psycho.  I really hope you get help.  This sounds like a very dangerous situation.  

Dump him.  Get a new phone.  Take a look at your inner circle.  Save yourself over everyone else.  When in doubt, cut them off.  The truth will come out.  

Edited by Lambert
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2 hours ago, LootieTootie said:

I feel like we are not getting the whole story. How did you meet this guy?

Also why don't you just get a new number?

I have changed my number many times..I met him at a car meet up for mini coopers

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7 hours ago, Shiroo said:

 The problem is he really seems innocent. 

 

At first my family defended them, until he seemed to do nothing about it. 

.He has a camera pointing out the front door, camera in his basement and a camera where my cats are staying.

Who is "he" and who is "them"?

Who's "crazy ex"? 

Who seems innocent? Your current BF an ex BF ?

Who has cameras watching your cat?

Why are your cats staying in them, he(ex?) he (BF?) basement?

Unfortunately your story makes no sense.

You claim they are photos of your rear then segue into you want breast augmentation the go on to claim you don't know who it is then continue with you think he, they, whatever are innocent then claim the police only investigate if you're murdered.

Then claim it's an old phone then claim it's a BFs or ex's iphone then go on and on cameras and one focusing on your cats in he, they, them, anonymous, BF or whoever's basement.

Are you sure this is happening. You claim you went to the police and now "random prostitutes"are being sent to your house?

Have you ever been seen by a physician for all these thoughts/events?

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If it sounds like a duck, and it looks like a duck, and it walks like a duck....

I know I'm going to get pounced on this but it sounds like you know the truth and know what you have to do. I would personally get a hold of his phone covertly, take some screenshots that prove what he was doing and send them to yourself so you have proof and can show people what's going on. Also, if the police have to get involved, that's futher proof.

I'm not sure what is not right here but it's pretty clear that it's him who is doing all of this. 

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5 hours ago, Shiroo said:

I appreciate this comment. I am starting to realize I might not ever know. And that alone makes me feel crazy. 

You feel crazy because you're in it. Take yourself out of that situation and things will feel a lot better. Don't give into the desire to know. It's not worth it. All that mental anguish and consternation, back and forth, isn't worth it. The more you find out, the more you want to know, no matter how tiny those scraps of info are mixed in with your own assumptions and insecurities. Just walk away and take the high road.

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6 hours ago, Shiroo said:

he WAS paying the rent for a girl he was seeing before we met. I  said her or me, and he ended the 1,700 a month lease 

My guess:

It's her. They have continued to secretly spend time together and she got into his phone to snoop, and got all the info and pics right there. 

She wants her gravy train back, and that means getting rid of you. 

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7 hours ago, Shiroo said:

.They also send randomr prostitutes to our house when I'm off work and home and he is still working.  after looking into it sometimes those people come over just to steal. 

Who's paying for these random prostitutes to do a house call?

So prostitutes are sent to your house, and steal things while you are home (and no one else sees this) but you won't call the police?

Sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but have you every been on psychiatric medications or taking amphetamines or hallucinogens?

Have you ever been evaluated for schizophrenia, bipolar disorders or other types of psychotic disorders?

Next time these prostitutes or thieves are at the door call the police and explain all that you've explained here including they/his cameras monitoring your cats in his basement via bluetooth.

Get some help for this.

Edited by Wiseman2
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40 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Who's paying for these random prostitutes to do a house call?

So prostitutes are sent to your house, and steal things while you are home (and no one else sees this) but you won't call the police?

Sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but have you every been on psychiatric medications or taking amphetamines or hallucinogens?

Have you ever been evaluated for schizophrenia, bipolar disorders or other types of psychotic disorders?

Next time these prostitutes or thieves are at the door call the police and explain all that you've explained here including they/his cameras monitoring your cats in his basement via bluetooth.

Get some help for this.

This whole story sounds too bizarre and now the story is becoming unbelievable.  Either this is trolling or there are some serious mental health problems that are either clouding your reality, or your ability to see that you need to leave the situation immediately.

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6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Who's paying for these random prostitutes to do a house call?

So prostitutes are sent to your house, and steal things while you are home (and no one else sees this) but you won't call the police?

Sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but have you every been on psychiatric medications or taking amphetamines or hallucinogens?

Have you ever been evaluated for schizophrenia, bipolar disorders or other types of psychotic disorders?

Next time these prostitutes or thieves are at the door call the police and explain all that you've explained here including they/his cameras monitoring your cats in his basement via bluetooth.

Get some help for this.

No you are misunderstanding. They come to the door because someone pretended to invite them over. They aren't paid. They are expecting to be paid. I am saying I used this as harassment when I did contact the police because IT COULD HAVE been dangerous. I read online sometimes people hire girls like that and then they have their boyfriend come in or whatever and pretend to have found her cheating and steal your money. Regardless it is illegal and I thought the police would get involved but they just said they cannot trace the person texting. Which is true, the fbi does that.

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8 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Who is "he" and who is "them"?

Who's "crazy ex"? 

Who seems innocent? Your current BF an ex BF ?

Who has cameras watching your cat?

Why are your cats staying in them, he(ex?) he (BF?) basement?

Unfortunately your story makes no sense.

You claim they are photos of your rear then segue into you want breast augmentation the go on to claim you don't know who it is then continue with you think he, they, whatever are innocent then claim the police only investigate if you're murdered.

Then claim it's an old phone then claim it's a BFs or ex's iphone then go on and on cameras and one focusing on your cats in he, they, them, anonymous, BF or whoever's basement.

Are you sure this is happening. You claim you went to the police and now "random prostitutes"are being sent to your house?

Have you ever been seen by a physician for all these thoughts/events?

What the hell??? My parents are getting these texts? I literally filed a police report? It is just very confusing and I probably explained it wrong. I live with my boyfriend the photo used is on an old iphone I have. I don't understand how anyone could get to it unless they hacked my apple account. This is a lot of technology related harassment and exactly why the police won't get involved. 

Also if I am crazy why does my boyfriend, mom, dad, aunt, and uncle recognize the problem? My parents went to the police as well. But whatever I don't have to prove anything to you. I am also upset and wanted feedback. Yeah it doesn't really make sense and I am so frustrated.

 

I brought up the breast thing because I had mentioned I wanted one, so I think these texts are attempting to jab at an insecurity. If I was still 16 sure that would hurt. But what hurts the most is to have all this happen, with my boyfriend seeming the most guilty, but he literally will cry and say it isn't him but then leave for work and a barrage of texts appear two hours later.

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5 hours ago, poorlittlefish said:

This whole story sounds too bizarre and now the story is becoming unbelievable.  Either this is trolling or there are some serious mental health problems that are either clouding your reality, or your ability to see that you need to leave the situation immediately.

There are websites where you simply contact one of the females and ask them to visit you. If you don't believe me look into it yourself I am not sharing the websites but it isn't unbelievable. I probably would have said the same thing. But they are mostly drug addicts so they will go anywhere without really noticing red flags and just hearing the promise of $100. 

 

And okay this is my point all of this is insane but he acts like me getting upset is what is crazy and saying I have trust issues !!! they have been sent to my aunt and uncle's and my parents. I don't see how this could only exist in my mind when police and my family are involved.

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