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Bachelor Weekend "Fun"


Coily
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This is more of me needing to get things off my chest, so I can wade through a weekend and not get fed up.

To start off my best friend of 30 years is finally getting married, and I couldn't be more excited for him! As it's a smallish wedding, myself and another were asked to stand up with him, no specific best man. Not my wedding, I'd have just been happy to attend.

Now the annoyance. Myself and the other groomsmen decided to arrange a bachelor's party. We tossed around some ideas and then he went silent, we're both busy so I figured we'd coordinate later. Next thing I know is he's decided the group (all 4 of us) are going to Las Vegas. Initially no set plan as to where we're staying, no clue as to what we are doing or room arrangements; other than "it's taken care of." I ask a few probing questions, and  at best I get vague answers.

Both myself and the groom has expressed frustration over the lack of information, to no avail. Only the Groom's father knows details, and won't share with me either. I feel like the odd man out, and rather than let it get at me I am ranting here.

 

 

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The groom is your best friend so you should be able to talk to him about anything. If I'm paying for a plane ticket and lodging, you can be sure I'd insist on being a part of that planning. Even if I wasn't paying, I'd want a say-so to make sure I was in a safe part of town and all those other important details. Four people are going and all four of you should have made those decisions together.

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Thanks.

Unfortunately my friend has adopted the "I want to be surprised" mentality; which leads to another can of worms being pried open. As a result I have made a few exit plans just in case things go stupidly.

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Particularly given the pandemic's affect on travel now is not the time to be vague or rely on surprises.  He's not a child who is entitled to a surprise -this is a side event and not the wedding.  Tell him you're only comfortable with specific travel plans and you will do your best to build in surprises as appropriate.  

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I would not agree to go anywhere without knowing exactly what I am paying for (I am assuming you're expected to pay your way?)

And even if I weren't paying, I would want to know at the very least where I am staying. One does not get to decide how I spend my time without clearing it with me first - especially if it involves travel and especially in the midst of a global pandemic.  I cannot see why the groom's father is withholding this information from you, but I would not accept this. 

Edited by MissCanuck
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I used to live in Vegas and by necessity they do not really have any Covid safety protocols because they rely exclusively on tourism for their revenue. So clubs, bars, strip clubs, casinos, etc. will have crowds of unmasked people from all over the world in attendance. Not sure if that is something that would concern you.

Also keep in mind if you want housekeeping service you must pay extra for it. Your sheets and towels will not be changed or replenished unless you pay the fee. If you are staying at an Air BnB of course it will be different. Hopefully you are.

Vegas does have many, many options for fun that don't involve drinking, clubs or strip clubs. Maybe you all can take a helicopter tour, do some kart racing, operate some heavy machinery (yes, there's a place you can do that!), or visit the Shelby museum.

I don't get why the trip details need to be kept secret from you. The groom, maybe, but why can't they tell you?

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9 minutes ago, DancingFool said:

Having an exit plan is smart. Other than that, try to keep an open mind and go with the flow so to speak. After all, you are there for your friend.

Why does the movie "The Hangover" come to mind?...lmao...

I think he is being there for his friend by standing up for him at the wedding.  A bachelor weekend is not an entitlement or part of the wedding or marriage.  Sure maybe a bachelor dinner or small scale but no he doesn't have to be there for his friend if it means not having specifics, etc.

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3 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

I would not agree to go anywhere without knowing exactly what I am paying for (I am assuming you're expected to pay your way?)

And even if I weren't paying, I would want to know at the very least where I am staying. One does not get to decide how I spend my time without clearing it with me first - especially if it involves travel and especially in the midst of a global pandemic.  I cannot see why the groom's father is withholding this information from you, but I would not accept this. 

After asking about 3 times what I can pay for and being told it's "all arranged." I have mentioned that if that's the case then I won't pony up anything other than my meals on my time, no reaction what so ever.

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I used to live in Vegas and by necessity they do not really have any Covid safety protocols because they rely exclusively on tourism for their revenue. So clubs, bars, strip clubs, casinos, etc. will have crowds of unmasked people from all over the world in attendance. Not sure if that is something that would concern you.

Also keep in mind if you want housekeeping service you must pay extra for it. Your sheets and towels will not be changed or replenished unless you pay the fee. If you are staying at an Air BnB of course it will be different. Hopefully you are.

Vegas does have many, many options for fun that don't involve drinking, clubs or strip clubs. Maybe you all can take a helicopter tour, do some kart racing, operate some heavy machinery (yes, there's a place you can do that!), or visit the Shelby museum.

I don't get why the trip details need to be kept secret from you. The groom, maybe, but why can't they tell you?

Having worked through the pandemic and where I have worked, the pandemics is not an all consuming concern.

So far I have gleaned we are staying at the Luxor, and to have one set of "decent clothes." Sigh.

Glad to know there are some options that don't involve throngs of people. As I am far from an urbanite, I may just rent a car and drive around the desert.

I can't help but feel that I am being semi excluded, with the exception of the groom. They all live geographically closer and vacationed together often as well. Again I don't want to let that worry effect the weekend, but it's in the back of my mind.

 

 

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I recommend seeing Valley of Fire and of course Red Rock canyon. If you don't mind going further, the Virgin River Gorge is spectacular. It's about an hour and 45 minute drive.

For something unusual check out Area 15. And if you like quirky visit the Arts District section of downtown (NOT the Fremont S. Experience...way too "touristy").

As for the mystery, maybe they have the room paid for as well as perhaps bottle service at a club, which would be nice. Hopefully you don't get surprised by them expecting you to shell out hundreds for the room or bottle service. 

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At this point, I'd probably start asking why won't you tell me?  Like seriously dude what is up? to the one coordinating this. 

I personally would hate this and probably let the guy know it's not cool with me.  

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Don't do anything.  Go ahead and do your own thing.  If this bachelor party is nothing but mass confusion and disorder, it's not your fault.  If no one informed you of specific travel plans and the itinerary, again, it's not your fault and say so.  If this bachelor's party does not happen, oh well.  Go about your business and focus on being the groomsman for the wedding day. 

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I'd roll with it and like Batya says be prepared to do your own thing. Rental car services would be available at every hotel. Make an appearance or stay for an hour for an event but if it's not something you're comfortable with, head out. I wouldn't share a room with anyone either and get your own. You can come and go as you please and have your own privacy. You can decide on that ahead of time and book a room to yourself in the same hotel. Voila - instant stress free. 

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