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Anxious about moving out


survivor2021
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I just started a new job in a different city after graduating. The city is 60 Km from my parents home so it's possible to come and go to work from there, but tiring. I tried it for one month and then I decided to move out to the city where I work. I thought about renting an apartment with some friends, but I kept being stood up. So finally I found a small room with a good price, with people I don't know, in a nice place and I was happy because I found a solution to my problem. I was excited to start this new life, new step, new phase of life ... 

But all of these feelings were converted to anxiety, fear and doubt once I found myself inside the apartment ... I started having second thoughts because I was going to be away from my parents, my family, with strangers and not even friends. The worst part is that I thought I got used to this, because as a student in the university, I moved out too and lived with friends and these feelings came accross me but I got used to it. But this time, it's different. The place is different, good but not as great as the other one where I used to live. I'm also alone, living with strangers and not friends.

I hate it when I second guess myself, espacially after making life changing decisions. I thought I was prepared, but now here I am. Due to the Coronavirus, I got to work and study remotely from home for two years. I felt fortunate for getting this oppurtunity but with time, it became stressful and I started hating the 100% remote work and looked for other opportunities.

If this is how I feel about a 60km distant city, than what about my dream of working abroad ? How will I feel when I go to a different country, with a different culture, and different language ? Damn it ...

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Change is hard. You may start out thinking this is a bad choice, but stick with it. Make new friends, join groups, volunteer, go do things other than work. If you are observant, join a religious group. If you like politics, join a local org. Things will improve. 
 

And when you move abroad you will likely doubt yourself again. But keep going, it will likely end up being a wonderful experience. I did it, glad I did. Get through the hard part. Make the effort. 

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Moving abroad isn't for everyone. You need to have that kind of personality where you have np making instant friends, building social network. If you are an introvert, you are gonna struggle for sure. It's up to you in what action you are going to take to make your situation better. I say give it time. Making new friends with coworkers can be a good start. The strangers you live with, just interact with them as much as possible, and things won't be so lonely. You can ask them where a good place to hang out, and invite them along. Work with what you have in front of you, and not worry what you don't have.

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