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Confused about Woman's Intentions


Ryan M.
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Just now, Ryan M. said:

I am not her mental health provider.  She is staying at Steve's house now but we suspect that the relationship is a farce to the extreme of Steve being possibly gay.  In other words, she has not moved on and still does everything in her power to get my attention.  

I am just curious. If she likes my attention so much, why is she quasi-pretending to date a gay guy and keeping distance face-to-face distance from me instead of just going out for lunch or something?

Why not choose something productive to be curious about?

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1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

If you're not going to stop interacting with her there is no more input I can give.  What you wrote reflects real concern about your sense of boundaries and common sense IMHO.

She was really cool at first and everyone in town liked her at first.  Afterwards, she got fired from her job and everyone in my town (except me and an isolated handful of folks) dislikes her now.  Perhaps it is something temporary going on with her but this is my explanation of why I persisted.

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1 minute ago, Ryan M. said:

She was really cool at first and everyone in town liked her at first.  Afterwards, she got fired from her job and everyone in my town (except me and an isolated handful of folks) dislikes her now.  Perhaps it is something temporary going on with her but this is my explanation of why I persisted.

But now you know different.  Your responses are very concerning and I'm done giving input at this point -it would enable you to continue down this really unhealthy path.

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11 hours ago, Ryan M. said:

I felt at least initially she was extremely attracted to me. But I feel like she goes through cycles of experiencing attraction and hatred toward me. 

Yeah, this is unhealthy & a little concerning.

You just don't play.

People with this much drama are asking for some nasty results.

 

 People told me she will probably date me in some fashion but it will be a waste of time and I will get abused somehow

- What?  Is this what you are looking for in a 'special someone'?

Steer clear of her now.

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I am guessing she is really attractive physically.  Am I correct?

Ever heard the phrase "10 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound sack"

You have been sucked into trying to make sense of nonsense. 

It would seem you are here looking for someone to tell you it is okay to date her despite all the foolish drama she brings to the table.  You are not going to find what you are looking for here.

When this all blows up in your face we will be here to help you deal with the aftermath.

Hold on tight because you are about to get on a ride nobody wants to be on.

Lost

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1 hour ago, Ryan M. said:

People told me she will probably date me in some fashion but it will be a waste of time and I will get abused somehow

The fact you won't listen to your friends and still want to pursue someone who is clearly toxic is just sad. Sad for you. Aren't you looking for women who behave like adults? You're just going to let her walk all over you? And drag you in her childish games? If that's what you want ... Go for it.

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29 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

I am guessing she is really attractive physically.  Am I correct?

Ha ha, that was my thought too.  She must be smokin' hot.

It's either that or OP gets little to no female attention as a rule, and/or has little going on as far as interests/hobbies . . . in other words, is bored.  And that can be fixed.

Absent any of those things I really think common sense would take over.  OP, you've got lots of good comments on this thread.  I would block her and focus on living your life.

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1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

I am guessing she is really attractive physically.  Am I correct?

Ever heard the phrase "10 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound sack"

You have been sucked into trying to make sense of nonsense. 

It would seem you are here looking for someone to tell you it is okay to date her despite all the foolish drama she brings to the table.  You are not going to find what you are looking for here.

When this all blows up in your face we will be here to help you deal with the aftermath.

Hold on tight because you are about to get on a ride nobody wants to be on.

Lost

Let me make my own decision. But I wanna make informed choice.  How can this blow up and can you describe the "ride nobody wants to be on". What kind of aftermath should I realistically expect?

I actually have hobbies and get a lot of female attention. This girl isn't a super model but she is cute. It's not even about looks - she has this vibe I am bit attracted to. It's hard to describe. I rejected a girl who was just as good looking and more chill that pursue this one.

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45 minutes ago, Ryan M. said:

Let me make my own decision. But I wanna make informed choice.  How can this blow up and can you describe the "ride nobody wants to be on". What kind of aftermath should I realistically expect?

It will blow up because she is all over the place, playing games and full of drama and unpredictable behaviors.  I am a little concerned that you don't see what we all see.

This vibe you mention could be like a moth to a flame and you my friend are going to get burned.  Sometimes people just have to discover the truth on their own and that sounds like you.  You are going to date her and it will be great at first with all kinds of passion and excitement but then the chaos will become more and more noticeable as the new wears off.

I just hope you get off the roller coaster before it goes off the rails and takes you with her.

Good luck, you are going to need it.

Lost

I am out...     

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2 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

It will blow up because she is all over the place, playing games and full of drama and unpredictable behaviors.  I am a little concerned that you don't see what we all see.

This vibe you mention could be like a moth to a flame and you my friend are going to get burned.  Sometimes people just have to discover the truth on their own and that sounds like you.  You are going to date her and it will be great at first with all kinds of passion and excitement but then the chaos will become more and more noticeable as the new wears off.

I just hope you get off the roller coaster before it goes off the rails and takes you with her.

Good luck, you are going to need it.

Lost

I am out...     

Can anyone explain what the cupid candle video meant? I do not understand what she was trying to tell me.

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13 hours ago, Ryan M. said:

Have you seen anything similar before? I originally thought she was just a little shy.

Look, I'm honestly not here to judge you. For some reason you're really intrigued by her, which is fair enough. It's just that my instinct would be to flight, after hearing what you shared about Becky and Steve. I tend to run away from those situations, simply because 'love triangles' and people who play games aren't for me.

Why not focus on attractive available quality women? A much better way to spend time in my opinion. 🙂

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4 minutes ago, greendots said:

Look, I'm honestly not here to judge you. For some reason you're really intrigued by her, which is fair enough. It's just that my instinct would be to flight, after hearing what you shared about Becky and Steve. I tend to run away from those situations, simply because 'love triangles' and people who play games aren't for me.

Why not focus on attractive available quality women? A much better way to spend time in my opinion. 🙂

Steve is probably in the closet based on what I have seen and what people are telling me.  She is also denying to anyone outside of Steve's home town that she is dating him.  I do not think there is necessarily a love triangle.  I think she just needs a place to stay since she was kicked out of her job and house in my home town.

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2 minutes ago, Ryan M. said:

Steve is probably in the closet based on what I have seen and what people are telling me.  She is also denying to anyone outside of Steve's home town that she is dating him.  I do not think there is necessarily a love triangle.  I think she just needs a place to stay since she was kicked out of her job and house in my home town.

Right, so there may not be an actual 'love' triangle, but the idea is still the same. You're drawn into an already complex situation. Moreover, you seem to desire a woman who plays games, when there are so many attractive quality women available on the planet.

What's so appealing to you about this whole situation? I recommend you mull over that question, do a bit of self-reflection. There might be valuable insight for you. 🙂

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A lot of harm could come to you.  For example she could  accuse you of sexual assault or worse , get pregnant if you have intercourse with her, spread ugly rumors on social media or perhaps photos she’s taken without your knowledge , show up at your place at all hours so you have to spend money on a lawyer to get a restraining order etc

just a couple of examples 

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36 minutes ago, Ryan M. said:

she just needs a place to stay since she was kicked out of her job and house in my home town.

Seems like a dream girl, no? I hope "steve" isn't riding her bike too much. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like they are playing poker every night.

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Seems like a dream girl, no? I hope "steve" isn't riding her bike too much. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like they are playing poker every night.

She denied there's anything going on when she was asked by our locals. But with her its hard to tell. 

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2 hours ago, Ryan M. said:

By the way, I do not know if she's actually know if she's not seeing other guys even if Steve is a farce. People were posting "it was nice to have you and Brad over".  So perhaps even if Steve is not legit, Brad may be someone she likes. 

Do you enjoy entertaining people with issues?

Cos she clearly has many. 

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16 hours ago, Ryan M. said:

By the way, I do not know if she's actually know if she's not seeing other guys even if Steve is a farce. People were posting "it was nice to have you and Brad over".  So perhaps even if Steve is not legit, Brad may be someone she likes. 

Consider what it means for a person with issues to “like” someone.  You like her despite all of the red flags.  So what does that mean - that says a lot more about your skills with boundaries and good ole common sense as opposed to what it means when two healthy available people like each other.  Try not to use typical words like “like” in this context when you’re dealing with a person whose exhibited many unstable behaviors. 

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29 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

You seem to find drama exciting. Instead of running in the opposite direction, her unstable behaviors turn you on.

Have you always been involved in drama relationships?

I have. One of my ex girlfriends was a bit wild. She used to cut herself with a knife, film herself cutting and email it to my work email if I came home a little too late. I don't think this girl is as dramatic.

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