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Confused about Woman's Intentions


Ryan M.
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This woman's intentions confuse me. Here is what she was doing - in May-July, she came out to the bars in my hometown with her friends, Christina and Becky. At the bars, she followed me around, would walk past me and say my ecig smells good, and run away. She would walk past me, kick my foot, and run away. She would come up to me, introduce herself, say she forgot my name and run away, telling other people I do not love her enough. She would hide her keys to approach me. When talking to her, she made herself difficult and unavailable. She was on the other hand giving me extended eye glances. She was then fired from her job and her friend Christina gets in a serious car accident and she immediately moves 2 hours away to stay with her guy friend Steve. Steve is a old bicycle repair guy who is a little feminine and younger than her. From August to now, this girl rubs Steve in my face on social media with captions such as "you should have tried harder", "you did this to yourself", and "he is the cutest". She calls him her "bb" but wont put "in a relationship" on facebook. Steve put "in a relationship" on Facebook. She knew Steve before meeting me but did not have interest in him (he was one of several people she went on cross country road trips in the spring). Steve's facebook says he is in a relationship but the girls facebook says shes single.  She calls Steve "bb" in some stories but she doesnt acknowledge anything going on further. She posts some photos of her Steve and others, but photos are very cheesy and platonic in nature and she feigns interests in Steve does like riding bicycles (she rode bicycle around the block but has no true interest in bicycles). Now she is doing more weird stuff to me. She asked her friend Becky to approach me and try to seduce me (happened late august/early september) (which I detected was a farce). Becky told me that this girl likes attention, genuinely liked me because I am "different", and joked about them knowing there is to know about me like my grandmother's name. I told Becky that I do not think the girl likes me genuinely and Becky responded "why do you think she didnt like you genuinely?" The girl also possibly called women in my home town and told them that i am creepy and may drug them and I need to stay away from them.  Whenever I sent her story replies, she didnt read them.  If I commented something innocous on her wall, she would like everyones analogous comment but not mine purposefully. She then got Becky to block me and blocked me herself without any real provocation on different social media platforms (on different dates, and before blocking me on Instagram, she made a video of a cupid candle which she yanks and throws and says "when I was a boy I learned not to cry"). Most lastly, she started a mobile massage company and called everyone except me and informed them she will be doing massages and may be going out but will need to leave in the afternoon. Steve's parents helped hand out business cards in Steve's town. I was told she was at the bars out yesterday locally but did in fact leave before I come there in the evenings. I expected her to try to now approach me again but she did not. What are her probable intentions with me? Am I plan B or is Steve plan B (and she felt rejected by me for some reason)?

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18 minutes ago, Ryan M. said:

What are her intentions with me?

Probably saw you as an easy target with whom to play her little 3rd grade games.

Are there any quality women in your area that you might be interested in, that might be interested in you as well?

Edited by waffle
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Just now, waffle said:

Probably saw you as an easy target to play her little 3rd grade games with.

Are there any quality women in your area that you might be interested in, that might be interested in you as well?

There are some quality women in this area.  This woman distracted me a little bit from them. What is the ultimate point of these games? Should I not expect her to ever go on a normal date with me?

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15 minutes ago, Ryan M. said:

Should I not expect her to ever go on a normal date with me?

I can't believe that's a question that even needs to be asked.  Calling up women and saying you're creepy and may drug them?  This is someone you actively want to date?  Frankly if I were you I wouldn't be alone with her and would be concerned for your safety.

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Just now, waffle said:

I can't believe that's a question that even needs to be asked.  Calling up women and saying you're creepy and may drug them?  This is someone you actively want to date?  Frankly if I were you I wouldn't be alone with her and would be concerned for your safety.

We just suspect she is the one who made those calls because no one else would care enough to. But we think she may be doing that so I do not move on while she is out of town.

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2 minutes ago, waffle said:

I can't believe that's a question that even needs to be asked.  Calling up women and saying you're creepy and may drug them?  This is someone you actively want to date?  Frankly if I were you I wouldn't be alone with her and would be concerned for your safety.

Do you think she is planning to harm me? Why do you think she is doing stuff like sending her friend to try to hook up with me and making false statements about me.

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3 minutes ago, waffle said:

Because she is unstable.

Yes and the more you dwell on it the more you will start to make choices that are not healthy.   I realize her drama/train wreck has some sort of odd appeal to you - a bit of a challenge maybe.  Direct your attention and energies elsewhere.  She is bad news.

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3 hours ago, Ryan M. said:

she immediately moves 2 hours away to stay with her guy friend Steve. Steve is a old bicycle repair guy who is a little feminine and younger than her. From August to now, this girl rubs Steve in my face on social media with captions such as "you should have tried harder", "you did this to yourself", and "he is the cutest". She calls him her "bb" but wont put "in a relationship" on facebook. Steve put "in a relationship" on Facebook.

Seriously, who cares about her & Steve.  She's off her rocker!  Acting like a child!  It's all immature.

All she's doing is playing mind games.. I do not feel she has any real intention with you.. Only playing with you.

Do NOT play the games.. she sound borderline crazy!

Avoid people like this..seriously!

Let her play out her drama elsewhere.

 

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Watch the movie Fatal Attraction

I am having a hard time understanding the attraction you have towards her.  What exactly is so attractive about her that you would continue to make excuses for her behavior and want to date her? 

By the way if you get into a relationship with this woman NOTHING about any of it will be NORMAL

  Ignore her the best you can and focus on women that do not act like 3rd graders on the playground.

Lost

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5 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

Seriously, who cares about her & Steve.  She's off her rocker!  Acting like a child!  It's all immature.

All she's doing is playing mind games.. I do not feel she has any real intention with you.. Only playing with you.

Do NOT play the games.. she sound borderline crazy!

Avoid people like this..seriously!

Let her play out her drama elsewhere.

 

I felt at least initially she was extremely attracted to me. But I feel like she goes through cycles of experiencing attraction and hatred toward me. 

When I first unfollowed on her social media (because she blatantly rubbed another dude in my face), she sent her friend twice to meet me. She also stared a rumor. After that I was blocked in the middle of the night for no clear reason.

I feel like she kind of both wants to marry me and wants me dead within short intervals of time.

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Honestly, that world you're describing screams havoc.  By reacting, you're making her the protagonist and giving this situation more importance than necessary. Why? What's the appeal to be part of such a toxic environment?

My advice, extricate yourself and best to not give her or her cronies any more thought.

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46 minutes ago, greendots said:

Honestly, that world you're describing screams havoc.  By reacting, you're making her the protagonist and giving this situation more importance than necessary. Why? What's the appeal to be part of such a toxic environment?

My advice, extricate yourself and best to not give her or her cronies any more thought.

Have you seen anything similar before? I originally thought she was just a little shy.

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I can't believe you're even asking about dating this woman. She's childish and immature. Severe all ties with her and her friends. Remove them all from your contacts, and seek quality women. Women who are serious, have clear communication, and aren't playing any games.

You sure like the attention, but it's not going to end well.

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4 hours ago, Ryan M. said:

I feel like she kind of both wants to marry me and wants me dead within short intervals of time.

That's absurd. They're crazy. Delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

The more time you waste on these floozies, the less time you'll have to meet decent women.

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7 hours ago, Ryan M. said:

I felt at least initially she was extremely attracted to me. But I feel like she goes through cycles of experiencing attraction and hatred toward me. 

When I first unfollowed on her social media (because she blatantly rubbed another dude in my face), she sent her friend twice to meet me. She also stared a rumor. After that I was blocked in the middle of the night for no clear reason.

I feel like she kind of both wants to marry me and wants me dead within short intervals of time.

Who cares even if she feels attracted to you? That's only part of a healthy interaction and she has shown you several times now she is not interested in interacting with you in a normal, healthy way.  But ask yourself why you are so focused on a train wreck.  Do you need this sort of childish and unstable behavior to feel excited about getting to know a person?  Do you crave this sort of attention -to feel desired physically or sexually no matter who is interested?

She doesn't want to marry you in any reality-based way.  But consider whether you want her showing up when you're with a serious girlfriend, or texting that person or stalking you or your family or friends either in real life or on social media.  Why would you chase after that sort of hassle and potential danger?

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3 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Who cares even if she feels attracted to you? That's only part of a healthy interaction and she has shown you several times now she is not interested in interacting with you in a normal, healthy way.  But ask yourself why you are so focused on a train wreck.  Do you need this sort of childish and unstable behavior to feel excited about getting to know a person?  Do you crave this sort of attention -to feel desired physically or sexually no matter who is interested?

She doesn't want to marry you in any reality-based way.  But consider whether you want her showing up when you're with a serious girlfriend, or texting that person or stalking you or your family or friends either in real life or on social media.  Why would you chase after that sort of hassle and potential danger?

Doesn't she think she is in some sort of "shadow relationship" with me?  It is weird.  If I actually talk to her (which I do not necessarily plan on doing anymore) and pursue this, how far will this relationship go? I get bad feelings about this because I think she may try to pressure me to get her a place, etc.

To clarify, I blocked her, and every person she is close to (and that I am not actually friends with) on every social media platform.  I also made all my profiles private. I looked at her public profiles out of curiosity and she has been dead silent since I blocked her.  Should I be concerned shes upto something since I don't interact with her anymore?

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1 minute ago, Ryan M. said:

Doesn't she think she is in some sort of "shadow relationship" with me?  It is weird.  If I actually talk to her (which I do not necessarily plan on doing anymore) and pursue this, how far will this relationship go? I get bad feelings about this because I think she may try to pressure me to get her a place, etc.

To clarify, I blocked her, and every person she is close to (and that I am not actually friends with) on every social media platform.  I also made all my profiles private. I looked at her public profiles out of curiosity and she has been dead silent since I blocked her.  Should I be concerned shes upto something since I don't interact with her anymore?

Are you her mental healthcare provider? If not it doesn't matter why she does what she does  Just keep your distance and hopefully she'll move on to someone else to focus on.  Good luck!

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9 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

I can't believe you're even asking about dating this woman. She's childish and immature. Severe all ties with her and her friends. Remove them all from your contacts, and seek quality women. Women who are serious, have clear communication, and aren't playing any games.

You sure like the attention, but it's not going to end well.

You say its not gonna "end well". Can you elaborate? People told me she will probably date me in some fashion but it will be a waste of time and I will get abused somehow.  What do you predict she will do if I continue to play her games?

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1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

Are you her mental healthcare provider? If not it doesn't matter why she does what she does  Just keep your distance and hopefully she'll move on to someone else to focus on.  Good luck!

I am not her mental health provider.  She is staying at Steve's house now but we suspect that the relationship is a farce to the extreme of Steve being possibly gay.  In other words, she has not moved on and still does everything in her power to get my attention.  

I am just curious. If she likes my attention so much, why is she quasi-pretending to date a gay guy and keeping distance face-to-face distance from me instead of just going out for lunch or something?

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2 minutes ago, Ryan M. said:

You say its not gonna "end well". Can you elaborate? People told me she will probably date me in some fashion but it will be a waste of time and I will get abused somehow.  What do you predict she will do if I continue to play her games?

If you're not going to stop interacting with her there is no more input I can give.  What you wrote reflects real concern about your sense of boundaries and common sense IMHO.

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