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My sex buddy told me i was in love but I’m not i just enjoy the sex


KrisPieyKay
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I told my fwb that we were going to have to slow down with sex. I told him that because he does he just does weird stuff. He wants to cuddle , he wants me to rub on him , he kisses my forehead and wants to hold hands in bed and he spoons and outs his leg on me so i felt like he wants more emotional intimacy than me. 
 

and before i could tell him why i wanted to slow down on how often we meet up he said “you’re falling in love” and i said “no” then he’s like “yeah you are that’s why you don’t want to see me as much” etc but that’s not true at all

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Are you fresh after a break up or long term relationship?

I'd ask myself why his affectionate gestures seem weird. I don't see what's the matter with what he's doing with you but you must be the one to determine what you're not comfortable with. 

He's teasing you and it may be bringing out deeper feelings, perhaps from a previous relationship. Don't let anyone pressure you into having sex.

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Anytime there is a fwb thing, almost always one has feelings the other doesn’t have. Friends care about your well being and a friend will not use you for sex. Allowing someone to use you is not healthy and will cause emotional problems down the road. In a nutshell, it’s not a good idea to use someone for anything but to use someone for sex until someone better comes along is cruel and selfish. Someone always gets hurt.

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It could be as simple as he enjoys doing those things even in casual sex situations and you are both misunderstanding the other. You assumed right away he wanted more emotional intimacy and so did he - its kinda funny if you think about it.

I wouldn't stress about him not understanding your reasons because at the end of the day, it's just not working for you anyways. You don't seem to want the cuddling and such, and he doesn't seem to want the kind of interaction you want, so it's not match I suppose. 

 

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48 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

Are you fresh after a break up or long term relationship?

I'd ask myself why his affectionate gestures seem weird. I don't see what's the matter with what he's doing with you but you must be the one to determine what you're not comfortable with. 

He's teasing you and it may be bringing out deeper feelings, perhaps from a previous relationship. Don't let anyone pressure you into having sex.

I’ve been single for almost a year. I’ve had FWB and we don’t FaceTime and text. He FaceTimed me texts me like I’m confused 

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13 minutes ago, Rchael said:

You definitely have to stop seeing him if he can’t follow the arrangement you both agreed to.

We never agreed not to cuddle or do intimate things but , when we see each other he’s up under me and i don’t want to catch feelings and i guess I’m scared that i will 

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I see where your concerns are. It would be good to slow down and think about what you want out of this situation. If you are already seeing him in a romantic way then don't keep sleeping with him. 

Don't let his teasing bother you. If he's a gentleman and he reciprocates those deeper feelings he would ask you out and treat you like a lady, not like this. 

You need to be clear first with yourself what you want. 

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2 hours ago, KrisPieyKay said:

I’m not developing feelings 

No, but he could be.

You said he's acting differently, more touchy feely, etc. ( which bothers you?). Do you stay the night?  How often is this?

Maybe time to end this... if you don;t want anything serious with him. ( not sure how often you see him?  But I think once a week or two is minimal?)

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1 minute ago, SooSad33 said:

No, but he could be.

You said he's acting differently, more touchy feely, etc. ( which bothers you?). Do you stay the night?  How often is this?

Maybe time to end this... if you don;t want anything serious with him. ( not sure how often you see him?  But I think once a week or two is minimal?)

He spends the night every time he comes. But. These past few times it’s been forehead kissing, intertwining his leg with mine. Asking me to rub his stomach , normally after sex he falls asleep 

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1 hour ago, KrisPieyKay said:

We never agreed not to cuddle or do intimate things but , when we see each other he’s up under me and i don’t want to catch feelings and i guess I’m scared that i will 

Talk with your fwb. Usually lots of physical contact can lead to a emotional connection. Think rational. Don’t go in headfirst. Analyze the situation, then act. And don’t second guess yourself when making a decision, have confidence.

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8 hours ago, KrisPieyKay said:

He wants to cuddle , he wants me to rub on him , he kisses my forehead and wants to hold hands in bed and he spoons and outs his leg on me so i felt like he wants more emotional intimacy than me. 

It doesn't necessarily mean emotional intimacy. Some people just like cuddling and hand holding (raises hand). If you don't like those things, or if you find that you can't cuddle or hold hands etc without developing feelings, then you guys need to have a coming to Jesus moment about it. 

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9 hours ago, MsAin1st said:

 It seems like 1 person developing feelings in a fwb relationship is a common thing. 

Agree.

How mechanical do you believe FWB should be? Like an escort? No affection whatsoever?

End it if you're not cut out for this.

Next time either just hook up and get dressed and leave without talking about who likes who more since you claim you're more robotic about it than he is.

Of course FWB is supposed to just scratch an itch, but you're initiating the emotional talks.

The first person to be honest with is yourself.

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There are some emotionally unavailable and distant people who dont enjoy stuff like that. Sorry to say, you seem like the type. You seem to think that he should just be doing the work and go home. While he maybe wants somebody to hug a bit and then go home. Heck, there is a legitimate business in America where people pay just for that, just to cuddle and go home and go out with their lives. There are no emotions attached, people just sometimes need intimacy. If you are not fine with that and makes you uncomfortable, then yes, I agree with others that you shouldnt do it anymore.

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3 hours ago, Wise Wally said:

Since you like the sex without the intimacy, have you thought about making it your profession?  At the very least, other than the pay, you would likely scare him off with that.  

Nothing is wrong with the intimacy but too much if it might cause feelings on my end 

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20 minutes ago, KrisPieyKay said:

Not trying to even put myself in a position to even catch feelings 

Then stop sleeping with him.

Step back, address whatever your reasons are for avoiding relationships at this time and reflect on the lack of wisdom sleeping with someone you are starting to attach yourself to.

FWBs are usually kidding themselves that things will go well or end well for this reason. 

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