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Is it is okay for me to ask him how much time he needs?


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12 hours ago, ShopLady said:

I’m really tempted to text him something simple like, “I hope you had a good day”, just so he knows I haven’t forgotten him. We’ve talked over text everyday since this happened. But everything tells me to leave him alone and if he wants to talk to me, he’ll contact me. He’ll be the one to reach out. I know that’s true. I am tired of being the one to care. It’s so frustrating!!! 

He knows you haven't "forgotten" him.  Unless you had a traumatic brain injury causing amnesia, the idea that he could think you "forgot" him makes no sense.

No, you want to contact him because you're afraid HE has "forgotten" YOU.  And you want to remind him.  But again, there's no way either of you has "forgotten" the other one exists.

I have a feeling you're going to go ahead and contact him anyway (or already have) because you just don't want to let go yet.  Even though he made it pretty crystal clear he views you as a "companion" and is not a committed romantic partner to you.  I think you think you can "get" him to change his mind.  But it doesn't work that way.  He either wants to be in a committed love relationship with you or he doesn't.  The feelings are there or they are not.  You can't message someone into loving you.

I think you deserve someone who cherishes you every day and who would never take the chance of losing you.  Not someone you have to chase and remind that you exist.

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22 hours ago, ShopLady said:

I have expressed to him a couple of times that I want him to really think about what he wants.

I'll tell you what he wants. I know exactly what he wants. He wants you to orbit and hover around him like a satellite, just like you're doing.

23 hours ago, ShopLady said:

He doesn’t know what he wants, and in some ways, that’s okay. But he should at least tell me that. Although, he doesn’t have to because it’s clear by this time apart that he doesn’t know that I'll stick around anyway.

Adjusted that for you ^

22 hours ago, ShopLady said:

The ball is in his court.

Yeah. It's been in his court for 7 months. He's hogging the ball.

Anyway, it sounds like this is the perfect relationship for him.... 

20 hours ago, ShopLady said:

I should have dropped him when he said I wasn’t his girlfriend. It’s just ridiculous that this is happening in the first place.

Yes.

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14 hours ago, ShopLady said:
14 hours ago, Lambert said:

But the danger with this is, when he meets someone else. it will kill you how quickly he knows. 

What if I meet someone else first? Because honestly, I have a good mind to just give up on him. 

Your mind is there, but not your heart. Your heart is in this.

He will move on way faster than you because his heart's not in this. Sorry to say it.

14 hours ago, ShopLady said:

I’m really tempted to text him something simple like, “I hope you had a good day”, just so he knows I haven’t forgotten him.

He knows you haven't forgotten him. You're his satellite. 

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On 9/25/2021 at 4:20 PM, ShopLady said:

I agree he’s thinking about whether he wants to continue the companionship.

Your self-love is severely lacking to even consider staying with him, if he happens to step down off that lofty throne you've placed him on to issue his declaration of intentions with you.

Seven months is well past the honeymoon stage, and has entered the more realistic stage where you've learned a lot more about a partner. Enough to know if this person is meeting all of your major needs and regularly sparks that special spot in your heart.

Apparently this has happened on your side, so wouldn't you expect the same from a significant other? The fact he's not, means he's not your match. In addition the fact you two have to take space from one another as if you two are nothing but toxic fumes. Space resolves nothing. Two people who really care about each stay to resolve issues, and if the issues can't be resolved, act with a clean break.

Don't you deserve someone who is as crazy about you as you are of him? I suggest you stay solo until you achieve greater self-worth. Otherwise, you will continue to attract and accept inappropriate men. If you have to play games like thinking a man will miss you and see your worth with space, or giving lame excuses as to why he behaves as poorly as he does, you're setting yourself up for a situation of wasting your life on the wrong man.

Do the work on yourself. You'll thank yourself later when you're free to welcome the man who truly deserves you into your one precious life. 

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You can justify his not being ready to talk any way you want and if he isn’t ready, most likely he won’t be back. No sense waiting around. Stay busy with your friends and don’t contact him. If he wants to get together you will know. Obviously right now he doesn’t. Move on and if he wants you back he will be after you like white on rice. If not, let go and someone else will come along and yes; taking a break is a breakup.

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