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Unfortunately, I feel attraction towards my aunt.


Eli22
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Hello everyone. First of all, I hope I don't sound too crazy, I really need to at least write this somewhere as it has been a bit of a problem for me lately.

I'm a 22 years old guy, and I have never been very social, I do enjoy my personal time a lot as I have enough hobbies and responsibilities to stay busy. However it has been around 4 years that I've Had someone I constantly socialize with, my aunt. I moved here a few Years back and the only family is my aunt (35) she's also busy a lot, and I've been living with her since I was around 18, we Basically Share expenses and stuff like that and live in the same apartment, this is so we have an easier time with life.

My problem isn't really financial or anything, in fact we have a very friendly relationship and we often have long talks which are super fun. She's like my only friend and likes me for what I am, the problem is either she is too affectionate and nice and I'm Confusing this as something else, or she actually likes me. You see, she's very affectionate with me, she treats me like a very close person, I'm very introverted, so I almost never initiate anything, she's always Trying to initiate things then.

She Calls me cute names or gives me hugs and compliments, obviously As a family member right? But I'm so confused, I analyze her and it seems she does it out of that character, she's very touchy feely, Way more than me. She writes me long texts and is very supportive towards me, I'd be lying If some of her texts aren't a bit too cute for our relationship. From some time now, I think I have developed feelings for her, like, I'm attracted to her in a boyfriend / girlfriend way but I haven't said anything, and to be honest, I may also be attracted in a sexual way, but I feel so bad for this, it's Kinda disgusting.

We have a comfortable zone but sometimes she's a bit too comfy, I'm the complete opposite of her regarding That, for example she often uses very light clothing (hot weather) or even walks by in underwear, where as I'm ashamed to even show some skin like arms or even being seen without shirt makes me feel uncomfortable. I've accidentally seen her body because she's literally so careless, me walking to do something and stumbling across her, and I just say I'm sorry and rush to somewhere Else, she just shrugs It off as something "That just happens".

I'm very sorry for this, but she even leaves used underwear around, probably from when she's in a rush. And I once had thoughts About sniffing that, but I wasn't able to bring myself to do that.

I love her as a lovely friend, but sometimes my body or bad side if my brain tells me otherwise.

If anyone has any ideas on how to deal with this it would Be hugely appreciated, as I do not like any of this, I want to remain a sane person. Thank you in advance.

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I think a big part of the problem is that you say you have no social life and she is your only companion. I would imagine this also means that you don't really date or have much romantic experience. 

You are going to need to set some boundaries and work on developing your own life, including meeting other people - for both friendships, and as potential dates. Once you are around young women your own age and exploring viable romantic interests, your aunt is not going to seem quite so tempting to you. 

Do you have any plans to eventually move out? 

 

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I agree that this is just the only woman you are exposed to so you subconsciously see things that may be innocent and imagine them as much more.  Whether they are her actions and words towards you or your thoughts.

  When people feel really comfortable around each other they don't fear expressing themselves like she does towards you.  Are some things questionable?  Yes but if you look at them as a very supportive aunt trying to help her sisters/brothers son gain some self confidence and feel better about himself so he will not be so socially isolated it doesn't seem so bad.

   Time to get out of the house and get busy living.  Be brave and take some chances socially.  It may seem scary but it really isn't, our minds just have us imagine it that way for some reason.

 Lost

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Hello. Thank you for your replies all of you guys. I'm indeed employed and I have plans to move out, maybe I'm a bit attached or scared to live alone.

3 hours ago, Wise Wally said:

We are missing a HUGE variable here.  Are we talking about, say your dad's brother's hot, younger ex-wife?  Of is this actually one of your parents siblings?

She's one of my parents siblings. Which makes my feelings even worse.

8 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

I agree that this is just the only woman you are exposed to so you subconsciously see things that may be innocent and imagine them as much more.  Whether they are her actions and words towards you or your thoughts.

  When people feel really comfortable around each other they don't fear expressing themselves like she does towards you.  Are some things questionable?  Yes but if you look at them as a very supportive aunt trying to help her sisters/brothers son gain some self confidence and feel better about himself so he will not be so socially isolated it doesn't seem so bad.

   Time to get out of the house and get busy living.  Be brave and take some chances socially.  It may seem scary but it really isn't, our minds just have us imagine it that way for some reason.

 Lost

I'll try to keep this in mind, thank you, and you're right just like MissCanuk said as well. She is the only woman I've been close with, mainly because I never saw the need to talk to girls, I guess? I'd blame it on my tight routine but I don't know.

It's a bit hard to find a place here, and I'm a bit scared to talk about boundaries with her, it's not like I want to lose her, she is still my best friend.

Thank you again, guys.

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42 minutes ago, Eli22 said:

She's one of my parents siblings. Which makes my feelings even worse.

 

That's not good, dude.  I don't know of a lot of circles in this world that have a fondness for incest.  The help you need goes beyond these message boards.  Good luck and I hope you get it straightened out.  

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12 hours ago, Eli22 said:

She Calls me cute names or gives me hugs and compliments, obviously As a family member right? But I'm so confused, I analyze her and it seems she does it out of that character, she's very touchy feely, Way more than me. She writes me long texts and is very supportive towards me, I'd be lying If some of her texts aren't a bit too cute for our relationship.

Give her the D

12 hours ago, Eli22 said:

We have a comfortable zone but sometimes she's a bit too comfy, I'm the complete opposite of her regarding That, for example she often uses very light clothing (hot weather) or even walks by in underwear

Give her the D

12 hours ago, Eli22 said:

I've accidentally seen her body because she's literally so careless, me walking to do something and stumbling across her, and I just say I'm sorry and rush to somewhere

You should have given her the D

Sorry, meme. Please dont F your aunt, it would be bad enough if she is not blood related but she actually is that, which makes it even worst. If its not a situation out of porn movie but real, she is trully very innapropriate there. And you with even thinking about Fing your blood. That is trully a no-no. So yes, move away.

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1 hour ago, Eli22 said:

It's a bit hard to find a place here, and I'm a bit scared to talk about boundaries with her, it's not like I want to lose her, she is still my best friend.

If something is bothering you that badly, you'll move out and find a place of your own. I don't think you need to discuss anything with her. She's an elder to you, albeit inappropriate. When you're ready to move on with your life you will. Otherwise, this will continue as it is and you are complaining over something that you are not prepared to fix or rectify.

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Instead of worrying about these thoughts you are having why not enlist her help?

She sounds very sociable so why not ask her for help getting out of your routine and facing your fears?

She sounds like the perfect person to give you tips and encouragement to take some chances.

Do you ever leave the house other than to go to work or run errands?

Do you have hobbies? Interests?

Meeting people requires you to be around other people other than your aunt. 

Lost

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