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Size matters?


Soja b
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Hello, I have been seeing a girl for a while and things seem ok. However, my penis size is below average. The foreplay is great, and the sex is mind blowing, but, when she gets a bit drunk, she tells me that my penis is the smallest she’s ever had. When we have penetrative sex, she wants “more” but I physically don’t have enough! She tells me she’s sorry the next day, but I feel very emasculated as I know some of the people she has had sex with in the past, which plays on my mind as I know that their “equipment” is bigger then mine. What do I do? 

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Thanks! I do like her though, and for the most part we work great! This is literally the only issue in our relationship.(for me anyway). I don’t think she means to be mean, but I’m now constantly thinking about my size. I know it’s nothing special. But it can be challenging when she’s told me the size of her previous partners 😕

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She knew what she was saying. You are aware of the things you say when you're drunk, you just choose to deal with the consequences later. 

She's not a nice person, I think you should find someone else. You won't ever get over this comment and I wouldn't blame ya. It was sh it and very immature. 

I had an ex when I was 21 that was extremely small. Like scientifically probably a micropenis? Not at all exaggerating. I remember the first time I saw it and how absolutely shocked I was. Even though I didn't care about him I NEVER made any comments about his size. I broke up with him for other reasons but seriously...I knew if I had made one comment he would lose any confidence he had on himself when it came to sex, and I didn't want to do that to him. 

This girl didn't give a sht when she said those things. Being drunk is no excuse. Her comment just seems like she's really putting you in your place and that's actually pretty cruel.

Also I promise you, it's not about size. Some of the best sex I've ever had was due to more how I felt about them and our chemistry than just because they were packin it. 

 

 

 

Edited by Honeycomb8
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1 hour ago, Honeycomb8 said:

She knew what she was saying. You are aware of the things you say when you're drunk, you just choose to deal with the consequences later. 

She's not a nice person, I think you should find someone else. You won't ever get over this comment and I wouldn't blame ya. It was sh it and very immature. 

I had an ex when I was 21 that was extremely small. Like scientifically probably a micropenis? Not at all exaggerating. I remember the first time I saw it and how absolutely shocked I was. Even though I didn't care about him I NEVER made any comments about his size. I broke up with him for other reasons but seriously...I knew if I had made one comment he would lose any confidence he had on himself when it came to sex, and I didn't want to do that to him. 

This girl didn't give a sht when she said those things. Being drunk is no excuse. Her comment just seems like she's really putting you in your place and that's actually pretty cruel.

Also I promise you, it's not about size. Some of the best sex I've ever had was due to more how I felt about them and our chemistry than just because they were packin it. 

 

 

 

I really have to agree with this and everyone else saying, get rid of this girl. 

Size actually doesn't matter to me.  As Honeycomb8 said, I was with a guy that was super small in that dept and I would have NEVER put him down like that.

She is doing this to mess with your self esteem.  Maybe so you won't dump her loser butt. 

I'm sure your penis is more than satisfactory. Maybe she just has a giant vagina. 

lol..  ok that's not really a thing but I bet she wouldn't like you saying it! 

Say it! And dump her.

Edited by Lambert
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2 minutes ago, Soja b said:

Thank you everyone for your replies! Long shot…. How do I get the comment out of my mind? And shift the feeling of inadequacy

We're telling you, you can't. Not with this girl.

She'll keep on remind you how tiny it is (not) and it'll make you doubt yourself or masculinity more and more. That feeling will stay unfortunately. So, you are trying to overlook a red flag here. And, yes, it sounds weird to break up for this but you have to for your self respect. 

Do not brush this off as nothing. It's more substantial than you think and says a lot about the material of the gf.

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I'd consider this on par with any other derogatory comment about a person's body or unwanted comments overall. The setting is uncomfortable and unpleasant. People want to be where they're appreciated and can reciprocate pleasure. 

There's a difference between that and some drunk, fwb/roll in the hay for fun. If you don't care much for her in general and find her rude/manipulative, stop seeing her and date other women. 

On the flip side, if you'd like to keep having sex with her you'll have to keep in mind that this is who she is. She pushes boundaries, likes to play mind games and gets drunk with no filter. You can also tune her out, try different positions and sex toys and have fun while it lasts. This does not strike me as someone you keep around for the long haul.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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8 hours ago, Soja b said:

. I don’t think she means to be mean, but I’m now constantly thinking about my size. 😕

How old is she? She seems quite immature and nasty.

Aside from that, you are watching too much porn and this size thing is mostly your own insecurities.

Have you heard of body dysmorphic disorder? Google it. It means a self-absorption with parts of your body.

There is a condition called micropenis but only a urologist and geneticist can help you understand that.

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9 hours ago, Soja b said:

This is literally the only issue in our relationship.

But OP - it's a huge, deal-breaking issue. 

And I don't mean because of your size. I mean because of her rudeness and insensitivity, and expectation for "more." I would bet that if you are foolish enough to stay with her, she will eventually go find herself "more" and it won't be with you. She's warning you. 

Get rid of her. You won't have a happy ending with her. 

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You guys are right. To be honest, she has already slept with an old friend of mine recently (whilst drunk) who is renowned for being “well endowed.” She turns into a different person after a drink. I think I just provide stability for her, good job, house etc.. I guess I’m just an idiot. I think I have to speak to her and find someone who actually cares 😕 thanks for the help!! 

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I don't think she's a different person when she drinks. I think it's the real her, just blunt and with no filter. Only shallow people care about breast size or penis size. Of course in porn the women have huge breasts and men have huge penises, but in real life people all look different. I have small breasts and I never had any complaints. I never really worried or cared about it either.

Also I disagree that having a smaller penis is a problem. I've slept with a guy with a pretty average or below average size penis. But he could last very long and he made me come many times from intercourse every time. I've only ever come from intercourse with two guys in my whole life and he was one of them!

Anyway, get rid of this girl. She's making you feel bad about yourself. Why do you need that?

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22 minutes ago, Soja b said:

You guys are right. To be honest, she has already slept with an old friend of mine recently (whilst drunk) who is renowned for being “well endowed.” She turns into a different person after a drink. I think I just provide stability for her, good job, house etc.. I guess I’m just an idiot. I think I have to speak to her and find someone who actually cares 😕 thanks for the help!! 

So she is a cheater too? Yup, kick that butt to the curb. 

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14 hours ago, Soja b said:

But it can be challenging when she’s told me the size of her previous partners 😕

What?! Why would she tell you the size of her previous partners? 

That's immature, rude, not to mention emasculating. 

You say this girl is nice and you like her, but you're not seeing that she is treating not very well at all.

No woman should ever be mentioning penis size from previous partners, to their current, ever.

It's completely disrespectful, not to mention crass.

There is no call for it.

As for her continuing on, and saying even worse things to you while she's drunk, more signs that this is not a class act woman at all. 

In fact she's a downright bad choice for a partner.

I realize you like her, and you want this to work, but you truly are lowering your standards by quite a bit, and trying to justify terrible treatment from her.

She's not girlfriend material. You need to really seriously consider why you are staying and justifying such bad behavior from her.

It's not worth it, I promise you. Your self esteem, and self worth will only go lower and lower while you continue to date her.

Not all woman act like she does. 

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1 hour ago, Soja b said:

I guess I’m just an idiot

You're not an idiot.

I can't tell you how many people in this world are accepting terrible treatment from their partner, or justifying bad behavior, or wishing their partner would be someone they are not ( a better version).

You seen a lot of good in her, you find different things attractive about her...BUT, she has very bad sides to her.

The drinking, the crass talk, the cheating, emasculating you, talking down to you, being disrespectful.

Anyone one of those things are a reason to end a relationship with someone!

But you are hoping, praying, wishing that all the bad things will go away because you want the good things.

And I get that, and it's understandable, but it's not a good choice either.

I think every single person at one time or another has remained with a bad partner in hopes that they will get better, or change for the better.

But realistically, it's not going to happen, and you just have to accept that this is who she is, and also accept that she's not good for you.

You know what to do here. You deserve better. This relationship needs to be done with.

Also going to mention here too, there is no "normal" when it comes to most things...including penis size.

Penis sizes come in various shapes and sizes...you know why? Because vaginas comes in different shapes and sizes.

There are literally some woman in this world, that are very small and would require a smaller gentleman.

There is also the opposite to this.

But in general, the human body varies greatly from one person to the next.

What you should be looking for, is a partner who is compatible with your body size in your nether regions.

Did you ever consider that maybe she's too big down below? It's possible.

 

 

Edited by SherrySher
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I know there is no real “normal size” but I am fully aware that I am slightly below average. (I don’t need to be told though) I think that’s what hurt the most. It reaffirmed the fact that I am small. It is a case of me just trying to see the best I guess. Even though it is clear now that this seems doomed to fail. I WILL speak to her, hopefully she won’t be too malicious when I tell her it’s over 😬

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10 minutes ago, Soja b said:

I know there is no real “normal size” but I am fully aware that I am slightly below average. (I don’t need to be told though) I think that’s what hurt the most. It reaffirmed the fact that I am small. It is a case of me just trying to see the best I guess. Even though it is clear now that this seems doomed to fail. I WILL speak to her, hopefully she won’t be too malicious when I tell her it’s over 😬

Don't worry dude, the right woman won't care about the size!

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22 minutes ago, Soja b said:

I know, thank you. Just hurts when you’ve been told out of every partner that there has been. I’m the smallest. 

I guess you could tell her out of all your partners she is the biggest. 😂

No, really though she is classless and from what I can gather cheated as well. You can do MUCH better than this woman. 

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20 minutes ago, Soja b said:

I know, thank you. Just hurts when you’ve been told out of every partner that there has been. I’m the smallest. 

You haven't met the right woman yet. 

The right woman, will be respectful, and won't ever mention size.

She will enjoy all of you, and all of who and what you are. Things will work out in the bedroom and there won't be issues.

Finding a compatible partner, is hard for everyone. They may suit us in some respects, but not all.

I can't think there is one person who hasn't struggled with finding the right match for them.

Just keep looking. There are millions upon millions of people in this world. 

She's out there. Don't give up.

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23 minutes ago, Soja b said:

I know, thank you. Just hurts when you’ve been told out of every partner that there has been. I’m the smallest. 

I think you need to consider "the source" from what you wrote, this woman has her own self esteem problems. Why else would she need to put her own boyfriend down? To build herself up. That’s why. 

Your partner should be building you up. 

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